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What do guys think about dating a single mom? Dating coach says: “Single moms are hot on the market”

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I don’t run many guest posts, but happened upon Elliot Scott, a dating coach who had a lot of really smart things to say about men and women and how we can relate better. And he has a lot of experience coaching — not to mention dating! — single moms. I love his advice, and it resonates 100% with my own experience dating a zillion men since becoming a single mom.

The majority of my clients are single moms. They often ask:

“Why the hell would a successful guy want to date a single mom?”

They’re often stunned at my answer:

Single moms who take responsibility for their families, who are awesome moms, and successful in their lives are extremely desirable to successful, attractive men.

That said, I can understand why mothers feel subpar on the dating market.

Single moms are indeed stigmatized in some dating circles.

Whether it be their “mom bods,” drama from the exes, worry the child will be a hassle, or that these women are financially destitute, single moms can get stuck in negative thinking that holds them back from meeting men who are their educational, intellectual and social peers.

However, guys DO want to date single moms. You can find guys looking for serious, long-term relationships on eharmony.

Here is what single moms need to know:

Are you worried the guy you are dating is cheating, or want to check him out before you meet up IRL? TruthFinder background check is rated A+ by the BBB and offers reverse phone lookup, criminal records and more.

Do guys want to date single mothers? What do guys think about dating a single mom?

Here is the secret that most single moms miss:

97% of men’s interactions with women are driven by fear.

Men closely relate their success and egos to whether they can win over a quality woman. It’s in our evolutionary makeup.

When a man doesn’t win over women of high quality, he questions his self-worth.

Yes! Here are reasons why successful men are interested in dating single moms:

Why do men like single mothers? They have their shit together

In today’s culture, success is defined by looks, yes, but also the very qualities that are unique to single mothers:  A single mom knows first-hand what responsibility is.

She knows true love and has demonstrated an emotional connection that childless women have not.

A single mom is patient, open-minded, trustworthy, loyal, and selfless.

She wants to better herself and others around her.

She’s careful, sensitive, caring, loving, strong, and is on a goal of constant self-improvement.

A single mom has meaning to her life.

These are all qualities great guys are looking for.

Successful men don’t want women who run around, stay out every night, drink too much, have no control over themselves, and are unpredictable.

We like women who are strong, stable, and are feminine — all the qualities of a successful single mom.

After all, what is more truly feminine than a mother?

Despite this, so many single moms struggle with self-confidence in romance.

I understand that it can be easy to buy into those single mom stigmas.

I also understand that you’ve had your heart broken by not-so-great guys.

It’s time to get over it. Look at yourself and your life through the eyes of the type of man you desire.

Appreciate how strong, loving and capable you are.

You’ve already proven that you can handle so much, and move through hard times with grace.

Embrace the fact you have all the traits to attract quality men and build a lasting, loving relationship.

8 rules for dating a single mom

Are single moms worth dating? Adopt these attitudes, mama:

1. Be proud of your single motherhood

Once you own those traits mentioned above, you automatically step into the role of a quality woman.

But you have to OWN it first! By owning your traits, taking responsibility for your situation and actions, and having a positive outlook, you automatically raise your social proof and value.

Confidence attracts confidence.

2. Don’t be afraid to show your success

Successful men don’t want a needy woman.

Most single moms I know have their acts together.

They have dynamic careers, are raising amazing children, and have full social lives.

To a man who also has a great life, this is catnip.

A successful single mom shows a man that his life, freedom and social status are not threatened and that makes single moms hot.

These insights were really eye-opening to me. I’ve had a really great time over the past six years dating like a maniac in New York City, a place teeming with interesting, successful men — many of whom were married to stay-at-home wives whom they are now paying a lot of alimony and child support. I’ve found that these dudes really, really appreciate a woman who makes her own money, and love when women will commiserate with them when they complain that:

  • He did not agree for her to quit her career, but by the time they split up it was too late, or …
  • She couldn’t keep a job, or pursued a career that was not lucrative, but felt entitled to maintain the lifestyle his career had afforded her, or …
  • She refused to get a job, or chose low-paying, part-time work to qualify for more money from him — none of the above of which are the same as both partners mutually agreeing one would forgo their earning potential for the sake of the family, which is what alimony is designed for.

That said, there were a few men in my recent history who clearly didn’t really get what it means to be a single mom who has a career and big goals. They didn’t get me, and these men didn’t understand women, either.

Take, for example, the movie set designer, who made a lot of money, judging by the $10,000 he paid his ex monthly, his flashy Upper West Side apartment, and the fact that he told me all the time he made a lot of money. This guy was in his early 50s, and after a year-long affair with a hot 25-year-old blonde who worked retail that ended his 20-year marriage, he’d dated a stream of hot 25-year-old blondes who worked retail, according to his Instagram feed. We went out for a few months, and I appreciated that he was creatively brilliant and a basically good guy, and he did treat me well. But we never gelled.

I always felt that while we connected intellectually, I was a good 30 lbs too fat for him, and frankly, too independent. I’d imagine that he’d tell his therapist about me, and because she’d urge him to pursue someone age- and professionally appropriate like, say, me, he stuck it out for a while, even if my flabby ass and full bush didn’t really do it for him. He did, however, really appreciate that unlike his other, less hard-knock-life honeys, I understood his divorce woes. But, because he had for 20 years a wife who did not have a career, who had their kid 80 percent of the month, he did not understand me.

The designer would often suggest we go out to loud clubs populated with hot 25-year-olds and guys in their 50s in expensive suits during the week, at like 10 p.m. Finally, after the half-dozenth invitation, I said: “You know, I can get a sitter from time to time, but weeknights aren’t my thing. I have kids at home, you know!”

Him: [Blank stare. Blink. Blink.]

And after the 100th bitter rant about what he saw as his lazy, entitled ex-wife who refused to work full-time, I said: “I appreciate that being a mom to one teenager is not a full-time job, and your ex-wife needs to stop being so entitled, but your career did benefit from having her home taking care of your kid all those years.”

Him: [Blank stare. Blink. Blink.]

I have said it before, and it stands saying a million times: The power of pussy is real. The life you lead is a force for activism, or not. You inform others around you how to treat you, and also how to treat others. The way you manage your romantic life — whether it's something casual, FWB, or in a long-term marriage — affects those around you, directly and indirectly, which trickles into politics and policy, near and far. When you demand respect for “women’s work” at home by presuming it is shared, you, by default, are demanding respect for “women’s work” in the rest of the world.

While eharmony is our No. 1 dating site recommendation, learn more about popular sites through our reviews of, Tinder, Elite Singles, Bumble, and Zoosk.

3. Focus on the right guy

I often see successful single moms going after the wrong guys.

These might be men who are not their professional or social peers — men who will indeed be threatened by her success.

Or you might have your eyes on a younger man who doesn’t know what it’s like to have a family or is not ready to settle down.

This guy is in a different stage in his life than you. Instead, focus on a man who is ready for a family and is truly open to your situation.

This might mean you date single dads, or men who have been involved with single moms before.

Find great guys near you on eharmony or consider a matchmaking service.

4. Let him take care of you

When a woman starts to focus on pleasing the man, opposed to accepting his care, she ruins the natural mating cycle.

The man’s job is to please and satisfy the woman.

If it’s the other way around, he will start to focus on his needs and not yours.

As long as he satisfies you and you let him know through gratitude, he will continue to help and love you.

Over-pleasing is a sign of seeking validation.

This subconsciously tells a man you can’t take care of yourself.

That is why we are turned off when someone repeatedly texts and calls, even when we don’t respond.

When you have the confidence to allow a man to take care of you, he feels masculine, secure, and devoted to you.

With confidence, you already own everything you need to attract a quality man.

Confidence is a choice in the moment. You create it. Don’t worry about your mom bod, child, financial situation, or ex.

Just know that you have it covered. Then take action. The only life worth living is a life full of action!

Once the man sees this, he’s going to be attracted to you.

Attraction isn’t serendipitous. You create it.

I have dated just as many single moms as childless women.

[Older single moms dating younger men: What you need to know in 2023]

If a single mother has the qualities of a single mom as well as the confidence to own it, she is in a league of her own.

successful men date single moms

Elliot Scott is a women’s dating coach who lives in Seattle, Washington.

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Bottom line: So, do guys want to date single moms?

Yes! Many single moms find love, companionship and partnership with good, successful men who respect and care for them and their children.

A woman who has children or is divorced are not deterrents for quality men — many of whom are also single dads themselves and seeking partners who understand them!    

Recently divorced and looking for love? Here’s what you need to know about rebound relationships and finding a good man. You might even find that dating a single dad is the way to go.

Dating sites for single moms

Check out a dating app. This is the easiest, cheapest way to get your mojo back, and get a feel for what is happening out there. All you need to do is connect with one cute guy or girl to get that spark going again. 

Here is my list of the best dating sites and apps for single moms.

Need help with your profile? 14 examples of good dating profiles and how to pick profile pics.

For finding a serious relationship, a boyfriend or a husband, eharmony is the leader:

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  • 100% of members are proven to be real (no catfishing or married people!)
  • Free version
  • For paid memberships, eharmony has one of the lowest prices.
  • A+ Better Business Bureau rating

Get 25% off your membership with promo code WSM25 >>

Learn more about eharmony in my review.

Do guys want to date single mothers?

Yes! Many single moms find love, companionship and partnership with good, successful men who respect and care for them and their children.

Why do men like single mothers?

A single mom knows first-hand what responsibility is. A single mom is patient, open-minded, trustworthy, loyal, and selfless.


You sound brainwashed and like you don’t think for yourself, or ever take the time to truly ponder important issues.

Lol this article contains the most delusional, fictional information I’ve read in a long time.

Single moms are by definition not anywhere as valuable to a childless man as childless women are. Don’t let this author fill your mommy brain with nonsense. When you have a child you do so with the knowledge your relationship value will decrease to childless people. Hopefully, if you have a child you do so with a stable partner and life – that way you will never need to worry about dating again….

Single mothers should consider themselves lucky that they AUTOMATICALLY weed out petty little boys that write these negative comments. You know, if not for your kid, you couldn’t have fallen for one of those… ouch

I’m ghosted as soon as I say I have kids. I’m 52 and have 10 and 12 year old daughters. I’ve not been out in four years and I no longer try to date because it’s simply not worth my time and hard earned money. It’s not what I want, but it’s the only choice I have.

Even if they marry you they’re just faking your love. You know why,? I know a friend who married a single mom with her 2 kids. Guess what he’s constantly cheating on her cause he regret taking care of her kids not his! Mind you single moms dont want anymore children so it’s unfair for you if you want one with her and she doesn’t want anymore that’s why you cheat and look single without children.



How’s your insecure, brainwashed, female-bashing life working out for you? You realize you only came into this world because a woman was willing to endure immense pain, discomfort, and PERMANENT F’ED UP DAMAGE TO HER BODY FOR LIFE. Who’s the bi**h? Who’s weak? Who’s looking for what??? The firings and discrimination women experience when their employers find out they’re pregnant? The refusal to hire a woman when they disclose they’re pregnant, or are single-moms, or have kids period?? The firings and discrimination women experience when they have to pick their children up from school because they’re sick, and then have to stay home with them, because it’s illegal not to, and the dad’s are nowhere to be found OR unwiilling to take care of their own children??? Or perhaps you’re referring to the women who are ordered to stay home and raise their children, that the dad won’t pay for childcare OR allow the mom the continue to work at her job or find new employment, when she can even make more than him????

I have HUNDREDS of documented cases of this.

John, if you’re honest about what you say, I challenge you to come forward with your full name and location, and to meet me to discuss these facts at a live streaming event on the internet. I imagine you’ll agree to this, or something comparable, if you believe what you say is true, and you’re not just projecting your personal experience and/or insecurities/mysogyny

$10,000 says you won’t show because you know you’re full of it, hiding behind an internet shield, and know who and what you’re really about, what you’ve done, what your struggles are, etc.

My hope isn’t to shame you, like you do to single-moms, but to open your eyes and others to what you (and we) know is at the core of anyone who engages in such hate speech.

I’m happy to get into a dialogue that doesn’t involve others as well.

Ultiimately, there’s something that clearly needs attention, processing, some resolve, that’s causing you to say things like this. That’s understandable and something all humans do at times. But it also doesn’t help any of us personally, within our friend/family groups, others “different” from us (we all aren’t that different, but are brainwashed into thinking we need to judge others and think they’re different or a threat…I bet when you were a child you didn’t feel or think the things you say now…….)

I’ve been everywhere.
The most common things I’ve seen are people judging others as being stupiid, ignorant, explatives and judegments I don’t agree with and won’t repeat on a social platform, AND people judging others as thinking they’re better than they are (which does happen), that they’re racist (because they’ve had it beaten into them AND resticted educations/racist teachers)…..It doesn’t have to be this way…..

This article is promoting reason why guys should not date dingle mothers. Especially section “4. Let him take care of you.” While many guys like to take care of their women and like when we are thanked. But this section is promoting a one-sided partnership that is not a partnership.

When it states “The man’s job is to please and satisfy the woman. If it’s the other way around, he will start to focus on his needs and not yours.” You are not wanting to lasting relationship. The number one reason men end up cheating on their wives is when the wife stop tending to the man’s needs. Many women who work in the sex industry often play therapist to the guys that purchase their services. These sex workers often are fulfilling both the guys physical, and emotion needs.

I know I am not going to date any women, single mother or not, that I give all my attention and support too and get nothing back. I am not a tool just for the woman to use. Nor do i like a woman that needs me to do everything. I don’t mind helping and being called on for legitimate reasons, but I am not your slave or servant meant to do everything for you every time you call.

This article is filling women’s head with lies and is not helping no one. It is not promoting partnership, just usury of another person. Basically, it is telling single moms to look for a slave to work for them.

All the risks and responsibilities but never the authority nor ownership. Not worth losing my wealth and health. Just common sense.

No man should be expected to raise another man’s child what madness is this! if the women is so mature and have their shit together then why are the most poor people in society usually single mothers? they are typically the ones needing a lot of welfare support which is a burden on tax payers and they justify their action as little Jimmy is the best thing that ever happened to humanity, yeah right. Clearly they don’t have their shit together. Don’t let the media trick you into thinking single mothers are valued members of society. The statistics are out there 75% of all prison inmates are from single mother homes. Majority of divorces are initiated from women. Men have been attacked for far too long and now the narrative is to push men to raise other men’s child, something so unnatural.

women select who they sleep with and procreate with men. Men do not select this as much as women do therefore the mating process is tipped in the hands of women’s favour and rightly so. If a women chooses to sleep with a bad boy and ends up pregnant then realises he is not willing to hang around to raise that child, who is at fault, most single mothers come from unmarried households relationship (51.4%) which demonstrates that they are careless and typically not good at selecting good men to procreate with. A women who picks a man who gets her pregnant then he runs off is truly a reflection of her own character someone who lacks the ability to find a good suitor for herself or is just selfish and wants to have a child, either way for any man you should run away from people like this.

The past will determine the future and if you select a girl who has made poor decision in life prior to you expect the same in future, for example if a girl has cheated on every boyfriend in her past the likely of her cheating on you is significant if not certain (you ain’t special or going to save her). Single mothers are selfish and will put the needs of another man’s child ahead of yours whilst draining you of your money resources, time and freedom. Who wants to be woken up by another man’s child at 6AM whilst the baby daddy is out partying having a great time and you’re left behind to clean up the mess and pay all the bills, the sex cant be that great lets be honest.

Gentlemen there is no upside, no matter how they want to position their argument it is simple. Either the women is unable to made a decision of what a good man is and you do not want to be with someone like this or they are just damaged goods and will be no good to your future. All single mothers had great men who came into their lives but they pushed them aside taking the poor option and now looking for a foolish man to clean up there mess, do not do this to yourself . Your ancestors fought long and hard to survive and carrier YOUR DNA to pass onto you so that you can raise your own family to carrier your name and DNA, have some pride and don’t further another mans offspring.

Funnily enough if you ask a single mother would you want your son to marry a single mother who has 1,2,3,4 kids from another man, they would say no they would want better for their child….

Baby mummas i know its tough and shit for you but you made your bed and now forever have to accept the consequences of being foolish, you may love your child and think you are the best mum in the world but what you have done is nothing but careless, selfish and hurtful to everyone in society.

Here is a prime example of ignorance is not bliss. I was married dor 20 years which of course resulted in children, 4 to be exact. My husband died 3 years ago resulting in me being a single mom. I am not looking for a father, mostly because my children are almost grown but I am looking for someone to share the rest of my life with. I was a stay-at-home mom for the majority of that time and loved it. I am a professional mom and wife and will never be ashamed of, nor will I make excuses for it. I have 2 homes, live in a wonderful neighborhood, have great credit and yes, I would LOVE some help. Help is not one sided. When you combine resources, you both level up. It does however take intelligence and proper planning to level up the right way for both of you. The point is we all need to give and receive love, children are never a hindrance after all we have all been there. You must first discern why the woman is single. Death happens but by no means does that stop life for the living. You then go about building a great friendship. Don’t worry about any thing else because without being able to kick back, drink a Red Stripe and play spades…….you have nothing. During the freindship process, life, plans and building each other up will happen. The process can be seamless and lucrative for both is done in order with the right person and perspective. Chill on the single mom b.s. It’s an individual person thing not a group.

Getting married to someone who bails and breaks the law by not paying child-support, as is the case for countless women and children???

No one wants to be a single mom.

Most single moms are married OR the male they sleep with professes their love and desire to be with them forever. Stop being manipulative, and this will stop happening as much.

Women don’t exoect that. What women expect is that men won’t come around insisting they’re into the single-mom and her kids, just to have sex with her and leave. Sounds like you’re RIDDEN with IMMENSE guilt.

You guys sound real mad and bitter. One would beg to question who hurt you? What’s funny is the arrogance to assume you can speak for ALL anyone. Your immaturity is showing. Clearly you are not who’s being mentioned so, it’s okay…really. Geez, relax lol

I wish you all the best but I would never marry a single mother because I don’t have my kids. And me bringing money home to pay some someone else’s child sounds humiliating

This comment thread gave me a lot of hope. It really did. The article, not so much… but the comments? Gold.

I am currently pregnant, and I had to finally ask the father to no longer be involved. Why? Because his entire personality is exactly what’s reflected in the above comments. Vile, hateful, self interested, narcissistic, emotionally unavailable, self righteous, controlling, domineering, and judgmental. When I got pregnant, it got 1,000 times worse.

I would rather be single for the rest of my life than have anyone instill those attitudes, beliefs, or personality traits in my child. And, I can sleep better tonight knowing that no man like that will ever want to be with me again. That’s an unexpected blessing I never anticipated.

Now, the only people that will be interested in a long term relationship with me will be compassionate, empathetic, loving, caring, decent, well adjusted men. Or, at least the worst of them will be weeded out of the mix. I don’t want to date a lion that eats another lions babies, or a 40 year old who parties and dates barely legals, or a guy who thinks natural relationship dynamics are “slavery”.

Man, I’m glad I scrolled down. This whole thing gave me a lot to be thankful for.

Do NOT ever date a woman with child or children.

You will NEVER be first priority. EVER.

You will ALWAYS be last.

Birthdays, holidays?

No. Weird, unappreciated sad seasons at best.

Alone for your birthday or a holiday? Suck it up, simp.

No one involved will respect you (the woman, the kids, the ex), and you will always be an outsider.

Eventually you will lose all respect for yourself.

It’s an ok situation if you never had any to begin with.

Cucks, simps, stewards settle for playing another man’s saved game.

There isn’t enough you could ever do to make it yours.

Correction theirs truth to this article while no one is perfect man or woman, I am a single mother of two sons I am 29 year’s of age starting off a successful career and a leader I live a positive healthy life. I was in a long term relationship and had several men who saw me as a high quality woman because I carry my self with pride values and confidence. I know who I am and I know we’re I come from and men real men love and respect that and want to commit.

Your qualities and actions don’t match what you said you have several men and your high quality. that makes sense why men keep abandoning you, why men dont want to commit you seriously cuz u have several men and impregnating you with different daddies. You are telling yourself proud of yourself ur high quality when in fact ur quite opposite.

As a man that dated several single mom’s and I can be considered pretty successful, I will 100% say that most of us men will DATE single moms, however committing, investing, being serious is a complete different story. It’s not just the single mom aspect of it but WHY. WHY are you a single mom with 1, 2, 3, 4 kids then many times it be different men. Why would any man, that has what he worked so hard for his career, status, success opt for a woman that can’t give 100% of herself because every man she had a child with has a significant percentage of her.

Men that don’t want that are NOT insecure nor whatever shame name is given. It is rather highly logical and makes complete sense because anyone that has a male child would NOT want their baby boy when he grows up being THAT man that takes on responsibilities that the woman and all the previous men neglecting (may not neglecting but he will be the primary with these issue, and AnY women to even have the audacity to say a real man takes care of another man’s fun and responsibility is the most absurd thing ever said, if you hear any women say that, you better dump, run, block these women because they are a disaster and that’s why they have kids with no man.

You logic makes absolutely no sense, sure single moms come with a very different skillset, but that skill set comes with baggage and a lot of baggage the benefits barely outweigh the cons. So please women stop kidding yourself that you are a prize. You are a prize when you can benefit someone in a positive way but you are already coming in with a huge deficit and loss. What can you bring a man that dedicated his life to provide a quality of life. Do you really think that you deserve what you have blown at an early age and then pressure a single man with no kids to take on your life decisions, knowing that at least 10% will always belong to the other men.

Until women can get that reality in their head we will continue to be at war . At the end of the day women will lose this game, women value is their look, youth, their femininity which will dwindle as you age, it’s great in your 20’s because you can have whatever right but that’s the time you better choose right, most want to have hot girl summer and now when you get into your 40s you are no longer capable to be with a man in a committed relationship, you will compare your current man with every man you ever been with and expect him to have all those good qualities and none of the bad. No man wants deal with this BS especially when we got absolutely nothing in return but drama, complaining, whining, cheating, ungratefulness, etc.

No woman will date down, men date down consistently. Will a lawyer woman marry a guy on fries at McDonalds? I think not, men date broke, uneducated, bad credit, no money making women all the time and elevate them just do be dumped on. There is a show called “Basketball Wives” the whole show story line is about women that had nothing and now the found a pro athlete and pretend now they came from royalty all their lives and act like they haven’t been anywhere.

I’m thinking the best option for me is to go with a new woman who has a lot of experience in marriage.

So don’t f her and bounce j a**. What are you doing getting involved with someone if that’s your stance? You sound like a guy on the defense because you feel guilty for manipulating a woman into getting involved with you, making her think you were interested in her as a single mom with all these kids, who bounced as soon as you got laid. Take a look in the mirror bro. If a woman doesn’t believe in abortion, and keeps getting manipulated by males into believing they love her, only want her, don’t mind she’s a single-mom, trying to convinve her to trust them to allow them NOT to use a condom…..Are you for real??? Trying to blame her??? How did she get pregnant if the male wasn’t insisting on no condoms????? Nice try jack

This is an amazing article and not all single mothers are needy. I myself am one and proud of it. My daughter and I are best friends. I am a successful business woman and I get compliments from men all the time and they tell me how good of a mother I am. I even had a man tell me, “I’m surprised you are not married”. I choose to be single so I can focus on my Law degree and build my real estate business. So with that being said, you are on point and I enjoyed reading your article while I watch my four year old daughter fall asleep watching The Little Mermaid.

Raising the next generation and keeping the human population alive makes mothers an asset not a liability. Having children is a gift.

LOL – Obviously written by a woman. At best, 100% delusional, at worst 100% disingenuous. How about asking MEN what they want? You will get a much different answer.

I would like to find out how can you find a divorced mom that has not had sex with at least 50 to 100 guys. I have talked to about 12 to 20 guys that have been married,and they tell me that most of the women that they date are very loose and not at all what they would call one that they would marry. Is it true that women have a desire for big dicks? Alot of the men have said that they only have a small five inch dick,and most of the women feel loose and it’s hard for the men to cum,and this leads me to the next little problem that the guys say that they are thinking about. That is the fact that most of the women have been with alot of big dicks and are streached,and they are not going back like they should,and this is why they actually loose. The men have said that they don’t want to get married to a woman and in about 5 years her pussy is worn out and she can’t have sex,and this is why alot of the guys are saying that they are thinking of staying single.Some of the women said that they are proud of the fact that they have had this experience so that she can satisfie her husband when they get married,but if no man wants them, then they wind up liveing alone with all this experience and a big pussy that no man wants,so what should you do? From what I have seen and been told,they wind up chasing big dicks until you get to where you just can’t chase any more,and then you go home and wait to die!

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