Dating coach: “Single moms are hot on the successful-men market”

single moms are hot

I don't run many guests posts, but happened upon Elliot Scott, a dating coach who had a lot of really smart things to say about men and women and how we can relate better. And he has a lot of experience coaching — not to mention dating! — single moms. I love, love,  love his advice, and it resonates 100% with my own experience dating a zillion men since becoming a single mom.


Check it out …

The majority of my clients are single moms. They often ask:

“Why the hell would a successful guy want to date a single mom?”

They're often stunned at my answer:

Single moms who take responsibility for their families, who are awesome moms, and successful in their lives are extremely desirable to successful, attractive men.

Find single parents on eharmony >>

That said, I can understand why mothers feel sub-par on the dating market.

Single moms are indeed stigmatized in some dating circles.

Whether it be their “mom bods,” drama from the exes, worry the child will be a hassle, or that these women are financially destitute, single moms can get stuck in negative thinking that holds them back from meeting men who are their educational, intellectual and social peers.

5 things to remember as a single mom in the dating world

Here is the secret that most single moms miss:

97 percent of men’s interactions with women is driven by fear.

Men closely relate their success and egos to whether they can win over a quality woman. It’s in our evolutionary makeup.

When a man doesn’t win over women of high quality, he questions his self-worth.

Single moms have their shit together

In today's culture, success is defined by looks, yes, but also the very qualities that are unique to single mothers:  A single mom knows first-hand what responsibility is.

She knows true love and has demonstrated an emotional connection that childless women have not.

A single mom is patient, open-minded, trustworthy, loyal, and selfless.

She wants to better herself and others around her.

She’s careful, sensitive, caring, loving, strong, and is on a goal of constant self-improvement.

A single mom has meaning to her life.

These are all qualities great guys are looking for.

Successful men don’t want women who run around, stay out every night, drink too much, have no control over themselves, and are unpredictable.

We like women who are strong, stable, and are feminine — all the qualities of a successful single mom.

After all, what is more truly feminine that a mother?

Read my advice: Best dating apps and sites for single moms

Despite this, so many single moms struggle with self-confidence in romance.

I understand that it can be easy to buy into those single mom stigmas.

I also understand that you've had your heart broken by not-so-great guys.

It's time to get over it. Look at yourself and your life through the eyes of the type of man you desire.

Appreciate how strong, loving and capable you are.

You've already proven that you can handle so much, and move through hard times with grace.

Embrace the fact you have all the traits to attract quality men and build a lasting, loving relationship.

Here's how to attract and build a relationship with a successful man:

Be proud of your single motherhood

Once you own those traits mentioned above, you automatically step into the role of a quality woman.

But you have to OWN it first! By owning your traits, taking responsibility for your situation and actions, and having a positive outlook, you automatically raise your social proof and value.

Confidence attracts confidence.

Don't be afraid to show your success

Successful men don't want a needy woman.

Most single moms I know have their acts together.

They have dynamic careers, are raising amazing children, and have full social lives.

To a man who also has a great life, this is catnip.

A successful single mom shows a man that his life, freedom and social status are not threatened and that makes single moms hot.

Focus on the right guy

I often see successful single moms going after the wrong guys.

These might be men who are not their professional or social peers — men who will indeed be threatened by her success.

Or you might have your eyes on a younger man who doesn’t know what it’s like to have a family or is not ready to settle down.

This guy is in a different stage in his life than you. Instead, focus on a man who is ready for a family and is truly open to your situation.

This might mean you date single dads, or men who have been involved with single moms before.

Find great guys near you >>

Let him take care of you

When a woman starts to focus on pleasing the man, opposed to accepting his care, she ruins the natural mating cycle.

The man’s job is to please and satisfy the woman.

If it’s the other way around, he will start to focus on his needs and not yours.

As long as he satisfies you and you let him know through gratitude, he will continue to help and love you.

Over-pleasing is a sign of seeking validation.

This subconsciously tells a man you can’t take care of yourself.

That is why we are turned off when someone repeatedly texts and calls, even when we don’t respond.

When you have the confidence to allow a man to take care of you, he feels masculine, secure, and devoted to you.

With confidence, you already own everything you need to attract a quality man.

Confidence is a choice in the moment. You create it. Don’t worry about your mom bod, child, financial situation, or ex.

Just know that you have it covered. Then take action. The only life worth living is a life full of action!

Once the man sees this, he’s going to be attracted to you.

Attraction isn’t serendipitous. You create it.

I have dated just as many single moms as childless women.

If a single mother has the qualities of a single mom as well as the confidence to own it, she is in a league of her own.

successful men date single moms

 

Elliot Scott is a women’s dating coach who lives in Seattle, Washington.

If you want to learn more about his work and learn how to attract the perfect guy, check out his free 200 page ebook here.

 

 

 

 

Related posts:

9 reasons dating is better as a single mom

14 tips for men interested in dating a single mom
Ladies, please post honest pics on your online dating profile, OK?


Thinking of dating again, but not sure where to start?

Unsure of how dating works in 2018 — with apps, texting, sexting, dick pics, etc?

Worried about flaunting your new mom bod on the market?

That is why I developed the bestselling video course, Get Back Into Dating AGAIN for Single Moms.

This video course takes you step-by-step to work through your fears, hopes, create a dating site and get your sexy on.

Guaranteed to get you on one quality, positive date! On sale for a short time: $99!



About Emma Johnson

Emma Johnson is a veteran money journalist, noted blogger, bestselling author and an host of the award-winning podcast, Like a Mother with Emma Johnson. A former Associated Press Financial Wire reporter and MSN Money columnist, Emma has written for the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Glamour, Oprah.com, U.S. News, Parenting, USA Today and others. Her #1 bestseller, The Kickass Single Mom (Penguin), was named to the New York Post's ‘Must Read” list.Emma regularly comments on issues of modern families, gender equality, divorce, sex and motherhood for outlets like CNN, Headline News, New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Fox & Friends, CNBC, NPR, TIME, MONEY, O, The Oprah Magazine and The Doctors. She was named Parents magazine’s “Best of the Web,” “Top 15 Personal Finance Podcasts” by U.S. News, and a “Most Eligible New Yorker” by New York Observer.A popular speaker, Emma presented at the United Nations Summit for Gender Equality. Read more about Emma here.

80 Comments

  1. Child of a Single Mom on October 12, 2018 at 9:32 pm

    Child of a single mom here to tell you single mom’s are the worst to date and single moms are putting her child/ren at risk of abuse by her boyfriends! Single mom’s were either selfish and irresponsible enough to have sex with a guy who isn’t/wouldn’t get married to her, has bad judgement in the men she marries, or was selfish and irresponsible to create a broken home by getting a divorce just because she wasn’t feeling it anymore. The financially successful/stable men who want single mothers can’t find a young childless woman for a good reason, its a fucking red flag unless he is ugly! If you are a normal stable guy, stay away from single mothers like the plague- you would be a stupid cuck to a mother who is blinded by her extreme need for more resources and her child/children who will probably be badly behaved and resent you for being the final coffin of the nail to having their REAL dad in the picture.

  2. Elise on January 2, 2019 at 3:58 am

    A childless woman do not have that connection..were a Lot more trustworthy n responsible ….many single mothers were teenagers n didn’t make grades n clean there room etc…they have behavior problems home..a lot Go back home to get help ..

  3. Edward S. on January 3, 2019 at 9:07 am

    Politely agree to disagree, the only reasons a single mother will land a successful guy is either she is so stunningly sexy it’s worth the gamble or very desperate. I know this from the more affluent circles I run that afforded me to retired before 45 very very comfortably. Pending the state you live in, you can quickly be on the hook financially for the kid/s. If I have no kids, chances are I will not want to have to deal with another mans kids. Saying our confidence in business makes us confident to speak to women is stupid, I pull up in my Aventador, I know even married women will want me as I am seen as a retirement plan. Truthfully, I don’t need to do much, the status symbols suck in women like a vacuum. If I elected to have kids?? Yes that’s one thing, but still, you will be with me for the financial security, to pay for you and your kids, then at that price, you better be presenting yourself very well, beautiful, pointless arguments to be nonexistent, outstanding sex, and the easy test….sign a prenup if we got that far, which today marriage is pointless, but there is common law marriage.

    If you give, I give. Naturally on a site called wealthysinglemommy will pander to its base of readers and give stupid unrealistic feedback saying “successful men want single mothers”. It’s like young girls walking out of a Disney movie being conditioned to think a royal prince will bump into them, he is an Adonis, take you away and make you his princess.

    Hey anything’s possible, but be real and say “0.0000001% of successful men want a single mother.” So there is a shot, just don’t hold your breath.

  4. Michael on February 19, 2019 at 1:58 am

    All I can say is ‘DILLUSIONAL’

    Single mothers are NOT sought after. They are damaged goods.

    1. If they’re a single mother, they chose poorly and this says a lot about their character.
    2. If the bloke left, why? She has issues and he didn’t want to put up with her shit.

    Now she thinks she’s something special because it takes some kind of talent to get pregnant or give birth?? Please!!!

    Why would any successful man want to take on the burden of someone else’s kids? He’ll never be number one and she left the guy once, she’ll do it again.
    Why pay for some chicks kids? That’s just utter garbage? Let them all rot and lie be wth THEIR bad choices.

    ONLY exception is a Widower.

    • Anon on February 26, 2019 at 12:27 am

      Single moms are a trap. Don’t fall for it fellas. Read bachelor pad economics and listen to some tom leykis. Mgtow forever.

  5. Anon on February 21, 2019 at 6:38 pm

    Just because a woman is childless/childfree doesn’t mean that she doesn’t have her life together. Nor does it mean that she’s running around, drinking too much, or being irresponsibly.

    Not all single mothers have their lives together either. Some are very irresponsible, do drugs or drink too much, abuse and/or neglect their children, etc.

    Every woman is different. What matters most is finding one that is compatible with you, whether she has children or not.

  6. How To Date A Single Mom | Meetopolis on February 28, 2019 at 6:37 pm

    […] have shown recently that single moms are considered hot property on the dating scene. Dating coach Emma Johnson explains the […]

  7. A different thought on March 3, 2019 at 1:36 pm

    Why do you want to deal with another man’s kid? As a man you will always be second because of the kid. (And perhaps understandable). But do you want to deal with that? And spare me the bull that single moms gave their “business together”. Plenty of single moms who are quite the opposite. When that little kid grow up, remember, you have no say over its upbringing. The kid with teenage properties will pivot the mother against you. And don’t forget, if somehow you leave your single mom partner after, say 5 or 10 years, then, then you are on the hook for alimony for a kid who’s not yours. If dating and marriage is a gamble, then for sure betting on a single mom is a poor bet.

  8. SMGoddess on March 25, 2019 at 8:17 pm

    I think the type of men that have left such nasty comments on this article literally troll single mother post to vent their frustrations and spill their toxic waste of so called emotions.

    If you are a single mother strolling through the comments like me, please don’t take those nasty words to heart. Know that there are men out there like these hateful guys but their words are not the rule or the standard and I doubt even (decent) childless women want them; especially if all they have to offer is career status, such a hollow and shallow human being.

    *flips hair and picks up sippy cup*

    • Marie on April 6, 2019 at 8:54 am

      Love it! Enough said!

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