While brunch and a card are always nice, consider getting the single mom in your life something a little more persona. Thoughtful.
You could even blow her mind.
I recently asked members of my Facebook group, Millionaire Single Moms (have you joined yet?) what they would give to a friend whose divorce was just finalized, or even what they wished someone had gifted them when they were going through their separations.
The response was overwhelming! So many mamas out there wished for such basic courtesies during hard times – a hug, a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on (Read: Best online therapy sites for moms).
And then there were other, more practical gifts members swear by in times of need.
This post is all about those perfect gifts for single moms — whether during a breakup, holidays and birthdays.
But first, please read my good wishes to you, you incredible single mom!
When is Mother's Day 2020?
Mother's Day is coming up — Sunday, May 10, 2020!
Popular Mother's Day gift ideas
Here are the solid Mother's Day gift stand-bys:
- Mother's Day brunch Search for local Mother's Day brunch specials, and/or send her a gift card to her favorite restaurant.
- Mother's Day flower delivery — send her a bouquet through Phillip's Florals at 800Florals.com, and don't forget to search for Mother's Day special deals!)
- Mother's Day gift baskets — make your own
Best gifts for single moms
What single mom, regardless of her trying, difficult circumstances, couldn’t use a day, an afternoon, or even an hour away from their kids?
Whether it’s grocery shopping or a good long nap, the gift of child care just might be the most useful thing on this list (unless you’re giving out wads of cash!). Check into great options for childcare in your area on Care.com!
“Childcare. I wish so much that I would have asked for more help when I was dealing with my divorce. It was overwhelming to deal with all of that plus have my kids 24/7.” – Chelsea
“I’d arrange a babysitter and take her out!” – Cyndy
“Childcare: I’d give her a few days notice and say ‘do whatever you want I’m taking the kids overnight.' ” – Beth
“I'd let her leave kiddo with me so she can have some time for herself to adjust, purge old memories, handle personal affairs, etc.” – Renee
Take her kids and tell her to get lost. Trust me on this one.
Related: Things every woman should do alone
A good glass of wine – or, really, just wine in general – makes things feel a little more manageable.
If you can’t be there in person to open the bottle and pour her a glass, there are other options.
“Wine and/or chocolate was delivered by several good friends, and much appreciated.” – Bea
To sidestep the annoying laws around shipping booze, consider surprising your girlfriend with a wine subscription or a wine gift basket.
There are tons of great ones out there, like Winc, Blue Apron Wine, Vinebox, etc. Bonus points if you FaceTime her for a virtual hangout while she’s enjoying her gift!
“Wine and ice cream are the best gifts after divorce.” – Ellen
Whether it’s a practical, comforting or inspirational book – or all three of those in one book *ahem* – many group members said they would buy their single mom friends a good book.
I've actually written a full post about what I deem to be the best single mom books, so your gifting is basically cut out for you! Here are a few of the group's favorites:
“The Kickass Single Mom book. Even if there aren't kids involved in the divorce… it addresses financial issues, have-your-shit-together issues and be-your-best-self issues!” – Kiara
If finances are her priority right now, check out my 30-day Kickass Single Mom Money Makeover.
“I've given this book to two friends now – Child Friendly Divorce by Diane M. Berry. It is excellent.” – Mary B.
“When I was going through my divorce, my mom got me the book In the Meantime by Iyanla Vanzant. Best divorce gift!” – Sherry
This is one single mom gift I'll admit I had never thought of before: a journal. Some Millionaire Single Moms evidently had thought of this, however, like these considerate ladies:
“A journal to process their emotions and to look back on to remember they survived.” – Cathy
“I like giving a really nice pen along with a journal with guided prompts.” – Treena
And then there are the moms who don't mess around with their journal gifting, like Sarah, who prefers giving “a journal… one of those handmade leather ones that wrap around like a secret treasure.”
It's a really thoughtful gift if you think about it.
Someone going through one of the biggest, most shaping experiences of their life could probably use somewhere to put their thoughts – somewhere safe, somewhere free of judgement, and somewhere they have space to really work out how they're feeling – whether that feeling is one of anxiety, loneliness – or sheer exhilaration and joy.
SO many single women tell me that they have NEVER received professional flowers before.
Sure, wildflowers your kids pick are sweet, but there's is nothing like receiving a full, lush bouquet — occasion or not – from someone you care about.
Check out Phillip's Florals at 800Florals.com for some beautiful mother's day flower delivery ideas.
Whether it's a mani-pedi, massage, a facial, or even an aromatherapy candle, it's probably no surprise that the group had a lot of recommendations in the self-care department.
Bree's favorite single mom gift is sweet and simple: “a spa and shopping day!” and a lot of other single moms agree:
“I wish I would have gotten a listening ear and maybe a spa day after my divorce.” – Mona
“An energetic full body massage. There is a lot of pain and healing that can't be done by just talking it out.” – Jessica
“My friends got me a spa day it was unexpected but awesome” – Theresa
You don't necessarily have to be a whiz in the kitchen to gift home-cooked meals to a newly single mom.
You can subscribe her to a month of grocery delivery, coordinate a meal train, or hang out with her while she cooks and you do the dishes.
Just, for the love of god, PLEASE don't let there be casseroles.
“One of the best things given to me was that one of my girlfriends came over (with wine), helped me plan some meals, took me shopping for groceries, then proceeded to prep several weeks worth of meals while I talked to her and drank wine!” – Meghan
“Show up at the new home on moving day with a few bags of groceries. Someone did this for me and it made me feel so cared for.” – Sarah
“A home cooked meal, some wine and a listening ear.” – Joanna
Meal planning services
Or, if you live far or otherwise think she'd enjoy it, send meal planning services like eMeals, Peapot or Blue Apron. You can read our whole review on grocery delivery services, and all the major meal planning companies.
Housekeeping, laundry, yard work
If she's not outsourcing laundry and housekeeping, give her a taste of the crack that will encourage her to make this a regular part of her life. I have a whole philosophy about why you must outsource your laundry. Same goes for housekeeping, and yard work: If you don't love these mundane, time consuming activities, outsource them. Use your newfound time to build a business, invest in your career, exercise — or just enjoy life!
Here are a couple of my favorite places to find reliable, trustworthy help:
- Care.com — find a housecleaner, laundry service (as well as babysitter and elder care fwiw)
- TaskRabbit — for all that household stuff you don't want to do, including home and yard care, as well as putting together Ikea furniture, home repairs, mount a TV, etc.
“Something with… batteries”
Ok, you knew this was coming. A couple of realistic Millionaire Single Moms recommend surprising their divorced BFFs with something a bit more… self-sufficient:
“A vibrator. Sorry – it was the first thing that popped into my head!” – Jenna
“A removable shower head.” – Shauna
“Pure Romance party with all of our friends!” – Michelle
A better job
Does the single mom in your life crave a new or better career? Likely one where she can work from home, telecommute, or otherwise have control of her time?
FlexJobs job board is one of my favorite companies — it is a paid job board that ONLY shows flexible, part-time, work-at-home, work-at-home and other career-level positions. FlexJobs was founded by a mom, Sara Sutton Fell, whom I've interviewed on my podcast, and hand-vets all the companies that list on the site — including many Fortune 100 and 500 companies that actively seek out moms and other people who want flexibility in their careers. (Read: FlexJobs job search review)
What better way to take her mind off of the ups and downs of divorce than to take your single mom friend out of her usual surroundings! If you're looking for ideas, these mamas have you covered:
“My bestie flew into town and we took all the kids on a short backpacking trip to the Grand Canyon. It was great to have her with me and gave me a sense of normalcy to take our kids on an adventure together.” – Anna
“From my sisters I got a surprise visit at midnight shortly after my divorce. They live in NYC and I'm in MD. So Saturday flowed into a whole day spent visiting, eating and shopping in a place I had never been before in my county.” – Rachel
“Going hiking and seeing a movie – trying to do a girls' day out as much as possible to keep her busy.” – Emily T.
A night out
Speaking of adventure, a lot of moms in the Facebook group really love the idea of taking her out for an evening she'll never forget… or never remember, depending on how your crew rolls. Here are some of my favorite ideas from the MSM group:
“Love and support with a good night out!” – Tori
“Lots of invites to everything! Take her to dinner, parties, anything to get her mind off of things.” – Suze
“A weekend away at the ACE Hotel. Girls night out? Yes, please!” – Jeanette
“A girls trip to celebrate the start of a new beginning!” – Miranda
Giftcardmall.com has thousands of brands — give her a gift card to her favorite bar, club, restaurant or theater.
I saved the best for last. There's really no way to stress this one enough. The best gift to give a friend who is going through a divorce is your time and your presence. Nothing beats it. Nothing even comes close. The moms agree:
“Friendship. I had a tribe of girlfriends who carried me through. They reviewed my documents (ok, it helps when we're all lawyers), they cleaned my house, they made me eat when I didn't feel like it, and so much more. They were my strength when I felt my weakest.” – Rebeckah
“Someone to come over and just hang out, listen and care like once a week. I felt so lonely after my divorce. I just wanted someone to be there to let me cry, hug me, and tell me I was going to be all right.” – Mary T.
“Friendship. Just be there for them. Don't bail, even if they are being a bitch. They need you now more than you know.” – Jane
An extended family
Access to a genealogy genetics testing service like Ancestory.com and LivingDNA.com are surprisingly popular gifts for single moms. After all, these sites help you understand who you are, and where you are coming from (two big questions when you are in a big life transition), and often connects you with information and relatives that you never knew existed — which can be incredible for someone why may feel especially alone, and unsure of who she can count on in her family.
Wealthysinglemommy.com founder Emma Johnson is an award-winning business journalist, activist and author. A former Associated Press reporter and MSN Money columnist, Emma has appeared on CNBC, New York Times, Wall Street Journal, NPR, TIME, The Doctors, MONEY, O, The Oprah Magazine. Winner of Parents magazine’s “Best of the Web” and a New York Observer “Most Eligible New Yorker,” her #1 bestseller, The Kickass Single Mom (Penguin), was a New York Post Must Read. A popular speaker, Emma presented at the United Nations Summit for Gender Equality. Emma's Top Single Mom Resources.