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How to get over your cheating husband and divorce him

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The information contained in this article is provided for informational purposes only, and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject matter.

If you’ve been cheated on by your husband, you’ll probably relate to these things my readers have said over the years:

We're negotiating our divorce settlement, and I believe I should be compensated for losing the family I wanted. My husband cheated, decided to leave, and I now miss my kids half the time and don't have a real family.

I am so pissed I have to pay alimony! He was unfaithful — how is that fair!?

He moved in with his girlfriend — the one he had the affair with. I will never be nice to her and do not want my kids exposed to her. She is a horrible person!

I make sure I don't get a raise so he will have to keep paying alimony. That way, he doesn't get off the hook — my husband cheated, went on to make way more money than I do. He needs to be punished.

For the record, my ex-husband didn't cheat on me. He did announce to all his guy friends (some of whom told me) that the minute he moved out he had a number of hotties he planned to ask out, which, in the depths of my pregnant self, hurt like a mother. 

So, how do you get past the hurt, get over your cheating husband, and divorce him? By looking at the facts (he cheated), making a plan to move on (find peace), understanding divorce law, and knowing your rights.

How does infidelity affect divorce?

Ask any divorce lawyer, and they will tell you: When there is infidelity, settlements are all but impossible, rationale goes out the window, and contention runs higher than in other matrimonial dissolutions.

“That betrayal colors every single part of the divorce process, and makes it so much harder for the cheated-on spouse to be reasonable,” said New York City family attorney Morghan Richardson.

It is understandable why cheated-on spouses go so bananas with rage. You had a deal. You would sleep with and only love each other. You and your family came first, no matter what. That is the deal in marriage today, and you signed up and stuck it out, and he didn't. That isn't fair and it sucks so freaking bad.

Also: Trust. You trusted him. You trusted you were his only lover. You trusted him when he said he was working late, or having a beer with his friends or at the office during business hours and not running around in the back of his car or at her house where her kids played in the next room.

This was not the man you knew and love (yes, currently. You probably still love him, at least a little. Or a lot). If he had a secret life, untoward agenda about his romantic life, can you trust him to be the father you thought he was? What else is he lying about? Money? Accounts?

These are tell-tale signs of a cheating husband, wife, girlfriend or boyfriend.

How to find peace after being cheated on

Not all infidelity ends in divorce, but for many, cheating does make it difficult to trust again or repair a marriage. Here is some advice to consider when navigating an extramarital affair and moving forward with divorce:

  1. Put your husband’s cheating into perspective with therapy.
  2. Forgive your ex.
  3. Take responsibility for your share of the breakdown of the relationship.
  4. Realize that worse things have happened to people.
  5. Invest time, self-care and perhaps therapy to rebuild your self-confidence..
  6. Don’t  focus on his unfaithful acts. It ultimately hurts you, and holds you back.
  7. Focus on rebuilding your own incredible life post-divorce.

1. Put your husband’s cheating into perspective with therapy

Look, people cheat every single day, and have since the dawn of humanity. It hurts, yes it does, and those feelings are real and valid. But ever-after, fantasy love and lifelong marriage based on romantic feelings? Never proven sustainable, and face it: You know it.

You know that is a fact now as you read this, and you knew it when you got married, and before that, too. You know half of marriages don’t last. And you know plenty of married people who have affairs. I’m not passing judgment on this fact one way or the other. But it is a fact, and if you thought you were immune from it, well… now you know you were naive and wrong. I’m sorry for your pain, but that has nothing to do with what happens next.

Shit happens. Shit happens in business, in the economy. The natural world is full of shit happening, the government is a mess and your friends will inevitably let you down. Do you wallow in it? Or do you own your feelings, sort out your part of the mess, and push forward into a brighter future?

Consider a support group, counseling, including online therapy, which can be much more affordable, and convenient than traditional, in-person counseling (you can do text, phone, video or email therapy from anywhere, any place — no need to hire a sitter or spend time commuting!).

Read our BetterHelp review for more details.

2. Make it your goal to forgive the infidelity, heal and thrive.  

This is the part where you get to blame him. For a minute.

Ask any divorce lawyer. Family court judge, therapist or best friend of a divorced person: The people who thrive after a split are those who get on with it already. No matter the circumstances, they forgive, focus on what they can control (not him, for crying out loud! YOURSELF. Your life, feelings, actions. YOU!).

Don’t take it out on your ex in divorce proceedings

Moms who thrive after divorce don’t drag the ex to court every other week, or get into text pissing matches, blaming the other party for “ruining our family.” They accept their kids’ new step-parents and ex’s romantic partners, because, what is the other choice? To badmouth the person to your kids for eternity? Spew vitriol across the aisle at your kids’ wedding, or confirmation or bat mitzvah? Wallow in the pain and contrived victimhood of your divorce? Not a good look.

It may take time to actually, authentically feel better and whole and strong again. Until then, fake it till you make it. Be civil and focus on getting through the horrors of the divorce process.

Focus on getting past your divorce

I’ve been through a divorce, and let me give you the best piece of advice I can: GET OUT OF THAT PLACE ASAP! Clench your jaw and get to the other side as graciously and maturely as possible. Help your kids acclimate to their new living arrangements. Be at the very least civil and non-violent to his new (or maybe not-so-new?) girlfriend. Bite the shit out of that tongue. Just bite it and smile.

Instead, focus on building your career, your finances, enjoying your kids. when you are ready, dip your toe in dating. Here is my guild to surprising joys of dating after divorce. And if you’re ready for a committed, long-term relationship, eHarmony is the go-to, No. 1 best site for finding a partner.

Read more about eharmony, including cost, app and success rates with our eharmony review.

This is what I want for you: A happy, STD-free future, full of forgiveness and peace. You got this. But it is on you.

My advice:

Get all up and messy with that pain. Yes, you were betrayed, lied to and manipulated. Perhaps you took your wedding vows seriously, or simply trusted him. That is serious and you must acknowledge it, work it through with your therapist and understand why it happened and how it affected you. The wedding ring needs to go, it will make you feel better to be rid of it.

Read: After a divorce, you get one year to be a hot mess. Sorry, but you don’t get extra time after an affair than other people going through a divorce.

One pitfall to look out for:

When your single status or divorce comes up with friends, colleagues or new people you meet, resist the urge to mention that your ex had an affair. That puts the blame on him 100%, paints you as a self-loathing victim, and otherwise enlists pity. Plus, it keeps that narrative alive and strong, and prolongs the pain of getting over an affair.

3. Take responsibility for the dissolution of the marriage and forgive yourself

This is where it gets really hard. But this step is necessary:

Take responsibility for the end of the marriage.

This does NOT mean that you are responsible for his actions, or that his affair is because you gained weight, or that it is women’s responsibility to keep the family together.

No. He is an adult responsible for his actions and his relationships. So are you. It takes two people to make a marriage thrive, and it takes two to end it.

You may not get there right away. It will likely take a long time, a lot of couples therapy, tears and inner work to get to this spot.

But don’t rob yourself of this opportunity to learn about yourself, grow, and pave the way for a better relationship in the future—whatever that looks like for you.

Vow right now to take your share of the responsibility for the end of your relationship—and to forgive yourself.

And yes, there is therapy for cheating, marriage counseling can help after an affair, and infidelity counseling is a thing — as is therapy for sex addiction. Maybe it works, and maybe it doesn’t — but very few people ever regret going to therapy.

4. Realize that worse things have happened to people (no matter how much this hurts)

Otherwise loving partners lie and cheat every day of the week. It does happen. That is not to dismiss your hurt, anger or grief. But worse things do happen — and people do get over infidelity.

5. Invest time, self-care and perhaps therapy to rebuild your self-confidence, and remember that you are a lovable woman.

Read our post about how to feel confident and sexy. Flirt with a stranger (innocently). Spend time with people who love and appreciate you. Remind yourself: You will get through this.

6. Recognize that repeating and focusing on the story of his unfaithful acts ultimately hurts you, and holds you back.

You've heard it before, but: Holding onto a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick.

Talking excessively about the affair, or bringing it up right away with new people you meet, or in arguments with your husband (or ex-husband) serves no one — most especially not you.

7. Focus on rebuilding your own incredible life post-divorce.

The best revenge is living well! After divorce you get one year to be a hot mess.

Understand divorce law re: cheating husbands 

No-fault divorce is standard in every state, meaning a couple can divorce without showing blame or fault.

Judges could care less. They’ve heard it all before, and it matters none how many people he fucked, whether the mistress was your best friend, neighbor, sister or cousin. Don’t care! Doesn’t affect how much money each party gets, and infidelity does not affect his ability to parent.

You don’t get alimony because your feelings are hurt.

[How to coparent with an ex]

Those judges are right, and they are correct. If you understand what the law says about divorce, it will help guide your negotiations. Whether you mediate or each retain attorneys, the goal is usually to avoid trial, and therefore apply to any discussions what a judge would typically rule.

Hopefully, you have a great lawyer who will guide you through a slit that is as low-conflict as possible. Listen to her. And she will tell you: No one in the legal world cares a bit that he cheated. Remember that!

10 signs of toxic parenting

What are my rights in a divorce if my husband cheated on me?

There are no special rights allotted to forsaken women. In some cases, if you suspect your husband spent large sums of money on his mistress or affair partner, that may be factored into financial settlement calculations.

Instead of trying to take revenge through the legal process, focus on the task at hand: Divorcing amicably, with a focus on low-conflict and stability for the kids.

In a best-case scenario, you could file for divorce yourselves, online. Here is our list of the best, cheapest and most thorough online divorce services.

There are no reparations in divorce

No financial compensation for your broken heart, and no parental upper hand because you loved him more than he loved you. Sure, you can blackmail a bigger financial settlement in exchange for not telling his super-religious mom about the prostitutes, but she probably already knows.

And if not, who cares? He’s not your husband anymore, he can’t give you an STD any longer, can’t spend your money any longer, and it is over. Plus, no one likes a tattletale. All you can do is move on. The closest you will get is to sell your diamond ring he gave you and feel good about it. Instead, focus on what you can control, and ask for the right things in divorce.

Does a cheating spouse affect child custody?

Technically, no, child support is not affected by infidelity since there is no-fault divorce in every state.

However, these things are often subject to a judge’s arbitrary ruling, so infidelity may be factored into a divorce trial. As more and more courts defer to equally shared parenting, this is less likely each day.

Can my husband get custody if I cheated?

The same rules and trends apply to whether a man or woman cheated. However, it is well documented that society, and therefore judges, too, judge women and mothers who are unfaithful in their marriages than men. On the other hand, women are presumed to be the primary caretakers of children far more than men, so that might be a consideration, too.

Again, as society evolves to view men and women as more equal, custody arrangements also evolve.

However, no matter who cheated, or whose fault you believe the divorce to be, I urge you to focus on equally shared parenting and an amicable divorce. This is so important not only for the sake of the kids, but both parties’ ability to heal and move forward afterward.

Here are more tips on how to be a successful co-parent after divorce.

[A guide to when to consider couple’s counseling]

Should I divorce my cheating husband?

Maybe yes, maybe no. Ultimately, the decision is your choice. You need to decide if the broken trust can be repaired. 

Was it a single fling, that is now over, in an otherwise monogamous, stable relationship? Then you may be able to forgive him, understand what was broken in your marriage, work together to fix it, and move on.

Are one or both of you craving an open, polyamorous relationship? Then it might be worked out.

Did the affair bring to light deeper chasms in the relationship? Are you willing to work on those shortcomings? Do you feel the marriage was already unhappy? The answer may be no, and that is OK. Then the marriage is over.

Did the affair happen a long time ago, and is clearly over? Then focus on forgiveness and mend your marriage.

Is he a perpetual, chronic cheater, and liar? Is this not ok with you? You may have to end the marriage.

If your husband has cheated on you, end things amicably and move forward.

Did your ex cheat? What did you say to a cheating man? How did that affect your divorce? How did you get over it? Share in the comments!

How does infidelity affect divorce?

Ask any divorce lawyer, and they will tell you: When there is infidelity, settlements are all but impossible, rationale goes out the window, and contention runs higher than in other matrimonial dissolutions.

What are my rights in a divorce if my husband cheated on me?

There are no special rights allotted to forsaken women. In some cases, if you suspect your husband spent large sums of money on his mistress or affair partner, that may be factored into financial settlement calculations.

Does a cheating spouse affect child custody?

Technically, no, child support is not affected by infidelity since there is no-fault divorce in every state.

Should I divorce my cheating husband?

Maybe yes, maybe no. Ultimately, the decision is your choice. You need to decide if the broken trust can be repaired.


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I have been with my husband for 32 years and married for 25. We just moved into a new home after selling the home we raised our kids in for the past 26 years. I babysit for my grandkids during the day and had been watching them in our new home when my husband said he couldnt handle having toddlers every day. So I began watching them at my daughters home and my husband would pick me up at the end of the day. One day my 30yr old daughter brought me home thinking we were doing my husband a favor. When we got home there was a car in the driveway and my back door was locked. I layed on the doorbell and when my husband came to the door he had a scared look on his face and he turned and ran toward our bedrooms and the next thing my daughter and I know a very young women comes walking from my bedroom. My husband was rammbling something but my ears were ringing and hot so I couldnt hear him. My daughter looked at her Dad with disappointment and left. He stood at the back door with this women for a few minutes and then she left.
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One point–not all states are no-fault. I live in Texas, which still has fault divorces. However, the only time it matters if you can prove that significant marital resources were spent on the mistress/affair (e.g., keeping her up in a penthouse).

One point–not all states are no-fault. I live in Texas, which still have fault divorces. However, the only time it matters if you can prove that significant marital resources were spent on the mistress/affair (e.g., keeping her up in a penthouse).

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What is the secret? I still love my husband but after months of dealing with hateful words, accusations and him allowing his “girlfriend” to move into our marital home before our divorce is even finalized, I’m not sure I could ever trust him again. Every day he disrespects me by allowing her to be in our marital home, with all of my personal belongings still there, because he won’t let me have them. I don’t think it sets a good example for our children to have her in our home before the divorce is finalized.

Wow he sounds like a right twat. Just like my ex who took our child on their vacation,and promised it would be just them….then has his whorecand her daughter ten minutes away. I was so infuriated, but didn’t react. Afew months later he’s testing the waters if I will take him back….I’d rather stick pins in my eyes than have that lowlife piece of shit anywhere near me. And no I will never forgive him for what he has done over the past year …comes to something when daddy is crying to our child. Like I told him, you made your bed, now lie in it…karma really is a bitch

My ex is happy go lucky right now with his trashy whore who is married too! Thankfully, we are in the divorce process, I cannot wait for this to be over and finalized. One day, hopefully he will realize that doing what he did was one of the biggest mistakes he could make. I love reading how your ex is crawling back, it must feel nice.

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WOW!! I have not been in this position, being married, but understand what it means to be hurt in a relationship in this way. Great, raw writing, and very informative for those in this compromising position. Is there a pun there??

:) Seriously.


One of my ex- husband’s hootchies had the nerve to knock on our front door telling me, “I got yo man!” I opened the door and told her she could have him and slammed the door in her face. Sometimes they would call the house phone and I would yell, “Your ho is on the phone!” By that time, I was out of love and just done. We got divorced in his home state. That was one of the happiest days of my life! A few of my friends were with me and we had a ball touring the city and celebrating my freedom!

My divorce was final Oct. 3. This past year has been a nightmare in every way. My ex-husband traveled the past seven years with his career (he was always either on the road or working long hours) and he traveled 100 percent the past three and a half years before hitting me with the divorce. I noticed he was being distant and starting arguments in the spring, but I thought it was work-stress and he was just tired. He was only home four days a month from February through July. My 14 year old son with Muscular Dystrophy had a spiral fracture to his left femur in June and later in July it was confirmed through an MRI that his heart was weakening significantly. He wasn’t even out of the wheelchair from the fracture until August – September. My ex gets a new job close to home with zero travel and tells me to make an appointment for marriage counseling. I did, but he had no intention of going. He started his new job Aug. 17th and hit me with divorce the first week at home. I was devastated and angry, and every time I asked if there was someone else he would look me in the eyes and swear there wasn’t – he just needed out of the marriage. In November, my son’s heart weakened again and we doubled his heart medication. I decided I had enough lies because my ex would make excuses to go away on weekends. I bought a tracker and put it on our truck the week before Christmas. I took the kids to PA to spend Christmas with my grandma, and sure enough Christmas evening his truck was where he had been working for the past year. I hired a PI and they got proof of the affair, and the fact that the mistress was pregnant. It turned out I was left for a 25 year old Outback waitress from Southaven, MS. I was 45 and going through the most horrific time of my life. I thought she was six months pregnant from the pictures the PI sent me, which would have made sense with the timing of the divorce, but it turned out she was only two. On March 15th, my middle son was admitted to the hospital in heart failure and was put on the transplant list that next week. He had an LVAD and a defibrillator put in before getting his new heart on May 1. During that time, the ex moved his little girl to town, about two miles from our home. He lived with me during this whole time and would go back and forth between the apartment and the house. It was a slap in the face to me and the kids, and this went on for months.
Of course, he also took it to trial because I would not agree to give him joint custody. In the end, the affair did matter to a degree. The judge awarded me primary custody, with both of us having joint decision making on major issues. He gets the kids 10 days a month outside of holidays, vacations, etc. I got the house outright and the judge took $15,000 out of the retirement pot and made him pay that towards my attorney fees, which were a little more than half. Then he split all accounts equally and even gave me half of the Hilton points, which were over 300,000. The only downside was my ex lost that job at home right before trial ???, so the judge reduced his salary by about $30,000, which in turn lowered my support by about $400 per month. My attorney said as soon as he is working we will go back to have that adjusted. He gave me alimony for five years, but it was rehabilitative, which means it can be modified or extended if needed. After the temporary hearing, he had to pay the mortgage, alimony and support, but I am solely responsible now for the mortgage and most of my alimony covers it. I may need to sell, I am still weighing that, but I get to keep all profits from it. I am not to any point of forgiveness yet. He says I was unavailable, but he failed to ever understand everything that was on my plate while he was living it up on the road.

I was married for 17 years and my ex husband cheated on me with my son’s daycare teacher and took my special needs son on dates with him. I tried to make it work after but became a total basket case with the constant fear of it happening again. Trust me ladies that was the lowest part of my life. I actually hated myself for feeling so insecure . A year later we got into a fight and threw him out . He of course went back to her and they are still together. During the divorce I did my best to be aloof although I was falling apart inside . I had all the same feelings the rest of you have had . Inside broken and afraid but would not give him the satisfaction of see me fall apart. That facade I put up helped me move on . I changed my appearance and my outlook on life and am happier of no one really be with someone who doesn’t deserve me . Keep your heads held high . Someone once told me that living happily is the besterm way to show that person that you are invincible and how much they lost . So keep your heads up. I know it’s hard but you can do it.

I understand there is value in a tough love approach. However, I think you have taken it a bit too far. Dubbing cheating and abandonment as “shit happens” minimizes the pain and injustice a betrayed spouse suffers. Moreover, calling on the betrayed spouse to recognize her part in the cheating is akin to victim-blaming. I know you are trying to be empowering but minimizing someone’s pain — a pain that you admittedly have not experienced — is ineffective.

It is only victim-blaming if the cheated on is a victim. It takes two people to make a relationship work, and both parties have to take responsibility for its demise.

That’s where we disagree. The person who was cheated on can be a victim. It take two people to make a relationship work but that doesn’t mean both are responsible for it’s demise. If one person behaves cruelly and abdicates it doesn’t mean the other person is responsible for that behavior. Would you blame a victim of domestic abuse for her part in her husband’s violence?

I’m with you on that. People have asked me how could I not have known? Someone even accused me of being asleep at the steering wheel of my marriage. The thing is – when one party is a very good liar and adept at covering his tracks and cruelly dumps you, you are often blindsided. However I also refuse to think of myself as a victim. I’m taking my power back and rebuilding my life. And yes life is so much better without him – I’m 6 months post divorce. There are still challenges – but my end goal is seeking peace in my life and my relationship with him for my daughter’s sake.

You’ve got to be kidding! You’ve obviously never met any one with a personality disorder like borderline or bipolar. Sometimes people marry and even though they think they know the person, they can get deceived. Sometimes people change over the years and develop additions or fall off the rails. One person in the relationship can be giving, caring, stable and carrying the weight of everything, and the other person for whatever reason goes off the deep end. Besides, is there ever a justifiable reason for cheating. You can always talk to your spouse or just leave. There is NO reason to cheat and cause misery to your spouse and kids….this just makes the problems 10 times worse and everyone feels awful including the cheating spouse. I have lived through this situion with 3 young kids, and it has been hell even though I’ve tried to rise above and be positive. You obviously have NO empathy for people at all.

I know this thread is older but This is the best article I’ve read in the last two weeks since I got the shock of my life. Thanks

Here’s the thing. If I had known before I got married that my marriage vows was a contract written in the sand, I would have approached things much differently and had a prenup with many clauses. You’re right, the courts didn’t care about his cheating, nor his extreme spending, nor his ongoingverbal and emotional abuse towards me. They also don’t care that I took a lesser paying job to be primary caregiver of our kids (allowing him to focus on his career). I live in a “no fault state” that pushes 50/50 joint custody of kids with a split schedule. So he was able to do whatever the hell he wanted to during the marriage and then get rewarded with the kids 50% of the time (and he has his new wife raising them during that time so he can work), an unaffected job and career, and the money he stole. The biggest problem I have is that we had a deal. I trusted him and he used me, stepped on me to get to a different life. A prenup would’ve covered all of the rules the courts don’t care about anymore. It would have listed consequences for breaking vows, compensation for my changing jobs, child issues, relocation issues, etc. I think many women will get prenups like this or avoid marriage altogether as they learn about the risks of marriage with kids.

Women and men alike are getting married in much smaller numbers today because of these sorts of challenges you outline. And the sort of clauses you mention for a prenup are often overturned in court anyway. I do take issue with your statement that your ex was “rewarded” with 50% custody. A parent of any gender has 50% moral and legal rights to children upon birth.

I’ve been in my marriage for 21 years now.My husband cheated on me and finally impregnated a girl ten years younger than him.He didn’t disclose anything about his relationship with the girl but I accidentally find the maintainance documents whereby the girl reported him.He apologized and my heart was soo! broken where it took a very long time for me to heal and trust him as my husband again.Fortunately I finally forgave him and started to continue with our marriage.He started to get sick and I have advised him to consult the health practitioners of which he did.To my surprise he tested positive and confessed that he was having an affair with his colleague who was his bus crew and he failed to control himself.I have tested negative and don’t know him anymore. I love him but the fact that he continuously cheated on me breaks my heart because we have 3 kids together.I am confused on whether to devorce him or what.
Please help.

I am going through this exact scenario now- married 16 years, together 21- found out he was cheating for months and once I realized she was in my marital home and bed, I filed … But it just seems so unfair – I do everything for the kids while he goes out for dinner with the GF – he gets to be “Disney dad” and I am left to pick up the pieces (ignoring my broken heart) and trying to “protect my business” of which my voluntarily under employed soon to be ex, wants at least “half” to “live the life he is accustomed to”- sigh… I know the universe must have a “bigger plan” in store for me and my three boys- but the whole situation is just so unfair… Any additional advice to stay positive, forgiving and move on?

I found out a week before my divorce was final that my ex had a child with his mistress. He told me the day she delivered because he wanted the kids to know. It’s been hard especially since he told me we had enough kids when I wanted to have more. In the end, I am working on myself now and find who I am again. We were together 23 years (since high school) and married 12 years. My advice is to nip negative thinking as soon as you start, find hobbies, read, make goals for your life and kids, and do something “YOU” want to do. I have been spending my weekends hiking, traveling, and reading. The pain is still there but I am finding my happy place one day at a time.

I am going through this now. In the middle of divorce proceedings. I filed after I found him at a hotel with the other woman. They rented an apartment and moved in together two days later. He has nothing to do with our kids, hasn’t seen them in over 4 months. Says he will reestablish his relationships with them when I am ” out of the details”. The pain and heartbreak of the betrayal have been almost too much to handle. I am now at a place where I want the peace of forgiving, moving on and being a better me. It’s hard. The hardest thing I have ever done. I just don’t want to be one of those people that live the rest of their lives bitter and angry. I want to be happy and free. It’s hard to not want my children to hate him for what he has done to our family, but I force myself to focus on what is best for them. It’s a long, hard road.

Thanks… I totally get this. I was so angry at my ex when I left because of his cheating. Luckily we were able to get through the divorce in little over a year with a pretty fair settlement but I still felt like I was owed something and it wasn’t until recently when I really started working on myself and became more self aware that I realized I’ve been trying to manipulate my teenage and adult kids in my favor. That all is ending now as I’m putting the focus on me and the bright future I have ahead of me. I am so grateful for so much in my life and for this second chance at happiness, I finally know what it means to love myself. I’m no longer holding on to the anger towards my husband, it’s his birthday this Saturday and even though my kids are supposed to be with me I told them they should spend part of the day with their dad… and I plan to wish him a happy birthday and mean it.

twelve years ago, when people said i’d be happier in the long run, it was difficult to believe. i felt so sorry that my children were being robbed of an intact family, and i was being robbed of a long term marriage. but guess what? all that time and attention i was using, focusing on him and when he was going to go off the rails, i got to pour back into me and my children.

i am now able to recognize the unhealthy role i played in our relationship and i have done some real down and dirty work on myself. I know myself and my children better than I ever would have had i chose to stay. it has been fascinating to watch him still pull the same sh*t with his new wife, and be so elated that it’s NOT me.

I really appreciate how insightful and humble you are — and such an inspiring perspective. Thanks for chiming in!

Gratitude is such a powerful thing. You define class, so wonderful to hear this. Thank you for sharing it with others.

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Not my ex husband that cheating pig is never getting off the hook. He did it in our marital bed and I’m ANGRY. Look out a woman scorned

I disagree with all
Of this 200% cheating is FILTHY it’s destroying families and if I ever get into government I will make it punishable with jail time! First offence 5 years that will stop cheaters!

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