Visit Us On FacebookVisit Us On TwitterVisit Us On YoutubeVisit Us On Google PlusCheck Our Feed

Subscribe:

Are you a SMILF?

buy zithromax online
Mom.w.money

That’s right. A SMILF.

What’s a SMILF, you ask? In my book, a SMILF is a Single Mom I’d Like to Friend. Someone I want to hang out with. It’s also a Single Mom I’d Like to Finance — that is, someone who has her life so together that banks and investors are at her fingertips to help her build her life. And if she has all this going for her, men will definitely find her to be a single mom they’d like to, um, friend-finance.

 

A SMILF:

  1. Is smart.
  2. Is funny. Hilarious, actually.
  3. Has a career – and not just because she has to pay the bills. She has a career because that is part of being a full person.
  4. Doesn’t take herself too seriously. But takes her life very seriously.
  5. Looks at all her financial statements every month – even if she knows it won’t be pretty.
  6. Delights in her kids.
  7. Puts her kids first.
  8. Has needs that aside from her children: intellectual, physical, sexual, creative, emotional and social.
  9. Is a whole woman, and totally cool with that.
  10. Is OK being single. Even if she’d prefer to be in a relationship.
  11. Knows how much is going out, and how much is coming in.
  12. Recognizes that her energy is better spent building her own wealth than fighting her ex over child support.
  13. Takes him to court if she needs to.
  14. Is not a victim.
  15. Is sometimes scared, and totally cool with that.
  16. Is sometimes broke, and totally cool with that.
  17. Is generous, even when it is tough to be generous.
  18. Dreams big for her family. Dreams big for herself.
  19. Feels pretty when she looks at her Mint.com account.
  20. Is not bitter. OK, maybe she’s a little bitter. But she’s trying really, really hard not to be bitter.
  21. Knows the best revenge is living well.

Do you fit the bill? Know someone who does? Let me know  — I’d love to profile them here on Wealthy Single Mommy!

  1. Gail Cawley Showalter
    Gail Cawley Showalter08-20-2012

    How would you like to post your article, “Are You a SMILF?” on our blog on September 6th? I’m looking for a post to fit our Money Matters theme on that day. I like you list. In fact I LOVE it! And think you might find some single moms via our site.
    -Gail

    • Emma
      Emma09-01-2012

      Just sent you a FB message, Gail.

  2. Tania
    Tania08-21-2012

    I’m still slowly working on that. But I think I’m getting pretty close to being a SMILF ;-)

    • Emma
      Emma09-10-2012

      Tania – it takes lots of work, dedication, and a healthy sexy appetite. You can do it!

  3. Emily Lyons
    Emily Lyons09-10-2012

    I am a total SMILF. Been raising my son alone since he was two (he’s almost 8) and I have a great career, and a killer sense of humor.

    PS. I just stumbled across your blog and I am smitten.

    • Emma
      Emma09-10-2012

      Hi Emily – thanks for the sweet comments. I look forward to your feedback here.

  4. Toni South
    Toni South10-01-2012

    Damn Emily, I’m totally a SMILF or at least running full speed in that direction. I wish you lived in my city because I’m pretty sure that we’d be best friends as cheesy as that sounds!

    • Toni South
      Toni South10-01-2012

      Geez, I mean Emma not Emily! I was looking at the previous comment while writing. EMMA, I am really enjoying all your writing but this article hit home the most!

      • Emma
        Emma10-01-2012

        Hi Toni – thanks, and we can be internet BFF, how is that?

        • Toni South
          Toni South10-09-2012

          Sorry, I just saw this response…yes, internet BFF’s will have to work for now!

  5. Lana
    Lana10-10-2012

    I love the list! I fit everything, but one: the career (but working on it!) I’ll let you know when everything gets together:)

    • Emma
      Emma10-10-2012

      Lana- you’re totally going to kill it!

  6. Abby
    Abby10-14-2012

    Love your blog. I’m a single mom who is far from broke, even though I was miserably so initially. So happy to have found this!

  7. Lori
    Lori11-28-2012

    Hell yes. And I own it every day. SMILF’s need to stick together…I’m finding there aren’t many around!

    • Carolyn
      Carolyn12-31-2012

      I like this a LOT. Why, yes – yes, I guess I do fit all of the bits of being a SMILF. Huh – cool – who knew? EXCEPT – it seems that some of the men interested in me seem to be interested in my financing them – uh, I don’t think so,.. Huh?

      • Emma
        Emma01-01-2013

        Really Carolyn? You need to be going out with better men – those who can pay their BILLS!

  8. Sarah
    Sarah01-22-2013

    Love your blog! I need more SMILF’s in my life, the value they bring to a friendship is amazing.

  9. Erica
    Erica03-03-2013

    I’m a total SMILF! Even going back to a one year grad program to jump-start my career. I’m rediscovering all that ambition I used to have.

    But I especially like #4… I’ve thought that about myself many times :)

  10. Luke
    Luke05-18-2013

    The inevitable moment always comes up when a man starts to date a divorced or single mother. That is, he gets told by her “You know you’ll never be more important to me than (# kids +1)th in my life. (That is, if she has two children, a man will get told he can never top 3rd place in her life’s priorities.)

    Imagine if he responded with, “That’s okay. To make it even and fair, you’ll never be more than the 3rd most important person in my life, either.” Oh, the howls….

    Yet, that’s logically fair, even if it’s hardly what SHE had in mind. That’s why I mentally use this formula for assessing the romantic availability of women:

    3 cats = 2 children = 1 husband

    That is, a woman with one child is already 50% as taken as if she had a husband fully in her life. Two or more? She’s effectively as unavailable for anything serious as Mother Theresa. A women with children and no husband (or a more-or-less equivalent) isn’t so much in the market for a relationship as she needs help, which latter attempting to date her largely would take the form. Charity is every person’s decision, but normally it’s not the primary goal in finding someone to DATE.

    Oh, and career, money troubles, and/or (above all) recently taking an ex to court, as indicators of a divorced woman being a woman that a reasonable guy would like to date?
    Nothing could be farther from the truth. A modest but adequate trust fund, NO debt/behind bills, and no history of using courts to degrade any men’s lives would be much better to find.

    • Emma
      Emma05-19-2013

      Luke, your comments here are frequent and lengthy. And bitter. Best wishes to you.

  11. salihah
    salihah12-18-2013

    Its so true…. I love it.. im totally SMILF!

Leave a Reply