You can’t be in my single moms club if you’re married

emma johnson podcast like a mother

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Related: Why do so many married women want to be in my single mom’s club?

I get messages all the time from married moms who want to be in my moms’ groups.

I get that you feel alone, that you don’t fit into a happy, ‘traditional’ family. But you’re not allowed. Sorry.

I feel for you. I do.

Anecdotally, I don’t know so many really happy marriages, and scholars have found the same. Per Rebecca Traister’s very excellent bestselling All The Single Ladies:

Psychologist Ty Tashiro suggested in a 2014 book that only three in ten married people enjoy happy and healthy marriages, and that being in an unhappy partnership can increase your chances of getting sick by about 35 percent. Another researcher, John Gottman, has found that being in an unhappy union could shorten your life by four years.

A recently published Stanford study found that women initiate divorce 69 percent of the time.

In other words: Married mom desperate to hang with single moms: You are not alone in your marital misery. You’re good! Normal! 

Meanwhile, single motherhood is losing its stigma, so much so that all these married moms go around flaunting faux singlehood! The “traditional” nuclear family with married parents and kids now constitutes the statistical minority of American households, with single-mom led homes constituting the majority of the remaining portion. Further, and somewhat astonishing, the MAJORITY millennial moms are unmarried.


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2 thoughts on “You can’t be in my single moms club if you’re married

  1. I love your blog! The statistic 69 percent of women initiate divorce doesn’t shock me. I am a college professor and we often talk about how the majority of the time women are the ones to say “done”. There’s a few well known marriage therapist that we study in our courses that go into more detail such as behaviors a wife will start doing when she has had enough and that is when the spouse should really take notice but instead breathes a sigh of relief that they aren’t “nagging” them anymore. Then they are shocked when handed divorce papers. Great post! Heather Pincelli

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