So you get a wedding invite. You may not have usually gone – all that excess! All that overwrought sentimentality! All those happy couples fox-trotting while ne’er a single frat brother in sight! Stepping into the cab at night’s end, full buzz courtesy of the open bar, all alone once more.
Last weekend I attended a wedding as a single person. I had a date – my good friend Jen, who had a last-minute opening for her chaperone. I couldn’t resist a black-tie Manhattan wedding invite – especially when my other social obligation involved eating sushi alone and while reading the Sunday paper.
There were some bitter single party goers in attendance. Pity. Seems to me that if you screw your eyes in just right you may find that a good time can indeed be had at wedding – most especially if you’re alone.
Look around you – who is having the most fun? Well, of course the adorable young black lead singer, who (after opening the dance floor with a perfectly respectable dance rendition of “Billie Jean”) takes it upon himself to prance and flirt with all the single ladies in the house. Get yourself in line for some of that!
Now stop staring at all those elegant older couples. The ones who have perfected their two-step over 40 years of “Mustang Sally,” and who you imagine the lifetime of togetherness and joy that will carry them through their dying days. Let’s not forget that not all miserable marriages end in divorce. Don’t believe me? Shimmy your own mustang over next to them. Let loose. Enjoy yourself on that dance floor like never before. Is that silver fox still staring lovingly into the eyes of his high school sweetheart? Or is she struggling to regain his attention, his gaze instead lingering in say – your direction?
No, no …. Of course you wouldn’t with a married man! But that bass player? There’s one of those at every wedding. He knows your type! You’re at every wedding! He’s been waiting for you, and all you have to do is toss a smirk his way during “Unchained Melody” and you know you can find him at the bar come breaktime. And we haven’t even started on the catering staff.Hookups not your thing? How about cutting loose on the dance floor with the requisite tween godson, or the precious boutonniere’d grandpa. Get crazy – slow dance with the lesbian aunt! Or, how about all by yourself? And while you close your eyes and toss back your pin-curled updo, remember: Things could be worse. You could be there with a date who doesn’t dance.