Who are single moms today?
In 2022, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)1 found that 39.8% of all births reported in the U.S. that year were by unmarried women, down from a high of 41% in 2009.
The U.S. Census Bureau2 cites that 80% of single-parent family groups are led by moms — but that statistic is often misconstrued to mean that fathers are not involved with the children in those families. Instead, most dads are actively involved, even when the parents live in two households. Nonetheless, this reflects a broader trend where traditional nuclear families, consisting of two married heterosexual parents, are now a minority in the U.S. family structure.
A study conducted a decade ago by Johns Hopkins researchers3 found that 64% of millennial moms have children outside of marriage. In 2016, millennials surpassed all other generations in the number of households headed by single mothers, according to Women in the Housing & Real Estate Ecosystem (NAWRB).4
At the time, NAWRB found that in the U.S. there were about 8.6 households headed by a single mom and around 4 million of those moms were millennials.
This shift is largely due to declining marriage rates among young people and an increasing societal acceptance of having children outside of traditional marriage settings.
The United States saw 673,989 million divorces in 2022, according to the CDC,5 contributing to the high number of single-parent households. However, the decline in marriage rates among younger generations is a more significant factor.
Traditional nuclear families are now less common, with single motherhood being a major influence. Other family structures on the rise include multigenerational families, blended families, adoptive and foster families, and families headed by same-sex parents.
This post aims to provide recent statistics on single-parent households and their children, highlighting the nuances of single parenthood and evolving family structures, as well as the trends in equal co-parenting.
Single motherhood rate by race
Single mothers’ statistics: Education and income
Single moms are overwhelmingly doing it all alone
Challenges of single-parent families
Takeaways from these single mom statistics
- There are more single moms because it is more acceptable to be a single mom
- More gender equality at home — including in separated families
Single mom statistics
There were 10.9 million single mother-headed households in the United States in 2022, according to Census data.6 This is 3x the number in 1960. In addition:
- 40% of babies born in the United States were born to an unmarried mom in 2022, according to the CDC.8
- 25% of U.S. families are headed by a single parent. Government documents that 80% of single-parent households are moms according to Census data.7 However, three-quarters of children in these homes have meaningful relationships with their fathers.
“A study that used data from the Children of the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth database found that about a quarter of dads dropped out of theirkids’ lives when they lived separately, while three-quarters had either significant or moderate interaction with their kids. But the census only counts kids as living in one home, so even kids who live with their dads half the time are likely to be counted as living with their mothers only.”
The 50/50 Solution: The Surprisingly Simple Choice that Makes Moms, Dads, and Kids Happier and Healthier after a Split
Millennial single mom statistics
A Pew Research Center9 report published in 2020 found that millennials are having babies outside of marriage more than any previous generation.
According to the report, roughly 33% of millennial moms living with their own children are unmarried, compared with 29% of Gen X mothers, 23% of Boomer moms and 9% of Silent moms at the same age.
Another study published in the National Academy of Sciences10 found that more educated millennials are having babies outside of marriage. Nearly a quarter of highly educated women in their mid-30s had their first babies outside marriage.
However, there is still a stark division between single millennial moms who have college degrees and those who do not. Millennial moms with a college education (14%) are much less likely to be unmarried than those with less than a college degree (44%), Pew Research reported.
Throughout history, marriage and parenthood have been linked milestones on the journey to adulthood.
But for the young adults of the Millennial Generation, these social institutions are becoming delinked and differently valued.11 As of 2011:
- 52% of Millennials believe that having children is one of the most important goals in their lives
- Only 30% say that marriage is a lifetime goal
Gen Z single mothers statistics
Generation Z — children born in the mid to late 1990s to early 2010s — are mostly descendants of Gen X.
According to an article by the Annie E. Casey Foundation,12 Gen Z women were more likely to graduate from high school and pursue higher education, with nearly 50% of adults ages 18 to 24 enrolled in or finishing college since Gen Zers reached age 18 in 2015, compared to 36% in 2000.
According to Pew Research Center,13 Gen Z are poised to be the best-educated generation to date. As of 2018, 57% were enrolled in 2- or 4-year colleges compared with 52% of Millennials in 2003 and 43% of Gen Xers in 1987.
In 2019, 44% of Gen Z, ages 7 to 17 were growing up with a parent who graduated with a bachelor’s degree or pursued higher education. As the educational level of parents has increased, a significant drop in births to mothers without a high school diploma among the youngest Gen Z members — born between 2006 and 2012 — from 26% to 17%, according to Pew Research Center.
In 2019, 44% of Gen Z, ages 7 to 17 were growing up with a parent who graduated with a bachelor’s degree or pursued higher education.
A 2022 Forbes article14 asserts that Gen Z women are delaying motherhood in favor of work and a desire to have a flexible life with protected time just for themselves.
This could be because Gen Zers were more likely to have been raised by a single parent, according to The Survey Center on American Life.15
Older single mom statistics
Today, there are far more older mothers overall, including more older single moms.
The average age of first-time mothers in the U.S. reached 27.3 years old in 2021. This is up from 25.6 years old in 2011, according to the Pew Research Center.16
Women with higher educational attainment tend to have children later in life and have fewer children overall compared to those with lower educational attainment
By comparison, there has been a 78% drop in teen births since 1991, with 13.6 births per 1,000 reported in 2021, down 2%
from 2021 (13.9 births per 1,000) and another record low.1
These are the number of births per 1,000 unmarried women for the following age groups:
- Ages 35-39: 38.8 per 1,000 (historic high)
- Ages 40-44: 11.6 per 1,000
While the rate of babies born to single mothers has declined slightly, there is a notable rise in babies born to single moms by choice – women who tend to be older, more educated, and with higher income.
Single motherhood rate by race
Single mother numbers in the United States have always been higher among African American women. At the hands of slavery, black women’s consensual relationships and marriages bore no legal rights, and black women had no legal rights to the children they bore at the hands of rape of their white slave owners.
These are the birth rates among unmarried mothers by race for 2022, the most recent data available:
| Race of mother | Percentage of nonmarital births |
| White | 27.1% |
| Black | 69.3% |
| Hispanic | 53.2% |
| Asian | 12.3% |
| Native American/Alaska Native | 68.1% |
| Native Hawaiian/Pacific Islander | 53.2% |
Single mothers’ statistics: Education and income
Among millennial moms who have babies outside of marriage, 67% have some college education, and 32% have four or more years of higher education, according to a Pew report18 published in 2020.
What percent of single mothers live in poverty?
- 32% of single moms earn $40,000+
- 10% of single moms earn $80,000+
Another Pew Research Center analysis17 found the poverty rate by household head was:
- 30% of solo mothers
- 17% of solo fathers
- 16% of families headed by cohabiting couples
- 8% of married couple families
From the report:
Cohabiting parents tend to be younger, less educated, and less likely to have ever been married compared to solo parents. Solo parents typically have fewer children and are more likely to live with one of their own parents (23% vs. 4%), Pew found.
Solo moms are more than twice as likely to be black as cohabiting moms (30% vs. 12%), and roughly four times as likely as married moms (7% of whom are black). About 40% of solo mothers are white, compared with 58% of cohabiting moms and 61% of married moms.
There are virtually no racial and ethnic differences in the profiles of solo and cohabiting fathers.
Single motherhood pay gap
Single mothers earn significantly less than married mothers.
In 2021, the median income for single-mother families was $51,168, compared to $106,921 for married couples, according to Pew.19 This income disparity is influenced by lower educational qualifications and the younger age of single mothers, who are also more likely to be black or Hispanic.
Pew also found that single-mother families are much more likely to live in poverty, with a rate of 31.3% in 2021. Among black female-headed families, the poverty rate is 37.4%, and 35.9% for Hispanic families.
This is likely a consequence of the lower educational qualifications of single mothers, as well as the fact that they are younger and more likely to be black or Hispanic. Married mothers tend to be older and are disproportionately white and college-educated.
Mothers overall suffer a pay gap of 29%, earning an average of 71 cents for every $1 earned by a dad — or an average of $16,000 less per year, according to the National Women’s Law Center.20
This motherhood penalty is dramatically worse for single mothers at 35%. According to Pew Research, single moms with a household of three earn just $26,000 per year on average, compared with $40,000 per year for single dads.
Parenthood tends to have a different impact on earnings for men and women. Fathers often receive a “fatherhood wage premium,” meaning they earn more after having children.
In contrast, mothers, especially single mothers, face decreased earnings due to career breaks and reduced work hours to manage childcare responsibilities, according to a 2024 report by the National Partnership for Women and Families (NPWF).
Single-mother households are more likely to be economically insecure compared to other family structures. Approximately 60% of mother-only families were economically insecure in 2021, with nearly a third living below the federal poverty line, NPWF found.
Another report that year found that the median income for families led by a single mother was $51,168, significantly lower than the $106,921 median for married couples. This large income disparity contributes to the economic hardships faced by single-mother households, according to the National Women's Law Center.
I conducted a survey of 2,279 single moms and found a direct correlation between time-sharing between single parents, and single moms’ include. The 2021 white paper outlining the findings of the Single Mom Income and Time-Sharing Survey are here:
Survey highlights:
- Moms with 50/50 parenting schedules are 54% more likely to earn at least $100,000 annually than moms whose kids are with them most of the time (with “visits” with the dad), and more than three times (325%) more likely to earn $100,000+ than single moms with 100% time responsibility.
- Moms with 50/50 parenting schedules are more than twice as likely to earn $65,000+, and nearly three-times as likely to earn that sum than moms with 100% parenting time.
- 13% of single moms have a 50/50 parenting arrangement, and 51% have their children 100% of the time.
- 9 in 10 single moms say they could earn more money if they had more equality in their co-parenting schedules.
- Moms with 50/50 parenting time are 34% more likely to say they feel “awesome and proud” of being a mom when compared with moms who care for their kids 100% of the time.
More details about the survey project.
I also founded Moms For Shared Parenting, an organization devoted to advancing parenting policy and culture.
11 surprising facts about 50/50 parenting
Single mothers on food stamps and public assistance
Roughly 15.7 million children were living in single mother-headed households in the United States, according to U.S. Census data21 published in 2022. This reflects a significant portion of the overall child population in the country:
- About 11.1 million children lived below 100% of poverty
- Nearly 14.4 million children were in the food stamp program
- Roughly 2.1 million children received public assistance
Single parents by country
A 2019 Pew Research Center study22 of 130 countries and territories finds the United States has the world’s highest rate of children living in single-parent households, at 23%. By comparison:
- Russia 18% of children live in single parent-headed households
- Uganda 10%
- Germany 12%
- Japan 7%
- Mexico 7%
- India 5%
- China 4%
- Worldwide: an average of 7% of children under age 18 live with a single parent
Children in single-parent families by race in the United States
According to the most recent U.S. census data,21 these are the percentages of children per race in single-parent homes:
- American Indian or Alaska Native – 52%
- Asian and Pacific Islander – 15%
- Black or African American – 64%
- Hispanic or Latino – 42%
- White (Non-Hispanic) – 24%
- Two or more races – 40%
Single moms are overwhelmingly doing it all alone
- 50% of custodial parents have child support agreements (informal or formal), but only 44% received all child support owed, according to a 2018 U.S. Census Bureau report.23 About 24% receive partial payments, while 30% receive none of the support they are owed
- The median amount of child support due is about $480 per month, translating to about $5,760 annually. However, the actual median amount received by custodial parents is significantly lower, at around $1,800 per year
- Child support can be a critical source of income for single-parent families. It helps lift many children out of poverty, providing essential financial resources to support their upbringing, The Annie E. Casey Foundation24 wrote in a 2023 report.
- Of fathers who live apart from their children, 22% of dads see their kids more than once per week.
But, how many of those fathers choose not to see their kids more, and how many of them are forced out of their kids’ lives completely, or marginalized to a weekend dad?
The answer to this question is complicated and hotly debated. A sexist culture and family court system that marginalizes fathers is a real force, as is parental alienation, mass incarceration of African American men are all real forces.
According to data from the Pew Research Center,25 about 29% of fathers who live apart from their children see their kids at least once a month, while 21% visit several times a year, and 27% do not visit at all.
Challenges of single-parent families
Children in single-parent families are more likely to face challenges stemming from the breakup of their parents.
According to another article by the Annie E. Casey Foundation,26 over 50% of children born to cohabiting couples will experience a parent leaving the home. And 20% of children whose parents are married will experience a divorce by the time they turn 9 years old.
This equates to a disruption in routines, living spaces, education, and household income.
For divorcing couples, parenting classes are a great first-step to restoring stability for children in the midst of a split. Learning how to co-parent is essential to better outcomes for children of divorce.
As research continues to evolve on this topic, several factors are clear: children excel in stable, safe nurturing environments where their emotional and physical needs are met.
High levels of parental stress are common among single parents due to the dual burden of providing for and caring for children alone, according to a Pew report.19 This stress can negatively impact both the parent’s and the child’s well-being. Strategies such as prioritizing self-care and seeking professional counseling can be beneficial.
An article by The Gentle Parent27 also discusses the solos of solo parenting and writes that single parents frequently experience a lack of support from family, friends, or society. Building a support network through local community organizations, support groups, or online forums can provide much-needed emotional and practical assistance.
Single parents often face the difficulty of balancing work responsibilities with parenting duties, according to The Gentle Parent. Establishing clear boundaries and seeking flexible work arrangements can help, but the lack of affordable and reliable childcare remains a significant hurdle.
Solo parenthood can also lead to feeling isolated due to the overwhelming responsibilities of raising children alone. Engaging in community activities, joining parenting groups, and maintaining connections with friends and family can help reduce feelings of loneliness, The Gentle Parent wrote.
Takeaways from these single mom statistics
There are more single moms because it is more acceptable to be a single mom
Single moms are growing in number, in part, because women have more financial opportunities, and can more comfortably afford to have children without the full-time financial support of the children’s father.
At the same time, the rise in single motherhood has severely lessened the stigma of being an unmarried mom, a fact that has been attributed to the drop in abortion rates in recent decades.
The rise and general acceptance of single motherhood across all demographics (young, African American and Hispanic moms make up the majority of this trend, but older, more affluent single-moms-by-choice is the fastest-growing segment of the single-mom population), is part of a larger trend of redefining what family and healthy family means.
It was a few years ago that headlines announced that the married, heterosexual parent household with children is now the statistical minority in the United States. Today, about a quarter of married couples who live with children under age 18 are in these Leave it to Beaver families where only the father works — down 47 percent in 1970.
How to be a successful single mother
While gay, multi-generational, blended and adoptive families are on the rise, single-mom-led households made up the bulk of that new majority of “non-traditional” families (enter eye-rolling of many, including this writer!). Paired with news that young adults increasingly find marriage an obsolete institution, this made sense.
However, this new acceptance of family does not preclude romantic partnerships, as most Millennial moms are in committed romantic partnerships, even if they are not legally married.
More gender equality at home — including in separated families
Today’s expectations of the role that men and women will play in parenting is different from older moms. Millennial mothers are most likely to have children with men who are more inclined to share household and childcare duties.
To wit: a 1982 study28 found 43 percent of fathers never changed a diaper. By 2000 another study showed this figure had fallen to 3 percent.
Fatherhood, as we know, goes far beyond keeping little butts clean. While the bulk of care of children still falls on women, a Boston College Center for Work & Family study found that 66% of Millennial dads believe that child care should be shared equally (even if just 29% conceded that that work is actually shared equally in their family), and the number of hours dads today spend with their kids tripled to 7 hours weekly in 2015 from 1965, while they spend an average of nine hours on housework, up from four hours half a century earlier.
These trends are reflected in separated families, where the number of hours that dads spend with children has increased regardless of whether the dad is a part of the same household. Only about 35% percent of child custody cases29 rule to give fathers primary residence, but there is a huge new movement towards shared parenting, in which it is presumed that both parents have equal legal custody and approximately half time with each parent in the event of a separation.
In fact, in 2017 alone, shared parenting legislation has been introduced in 25 states, and counting. This makes sense, as there are 60 peer-reviewed studies30 that find that shared parenting — in which each parent has the kids about 40 percent of the time — is best for children.
Fathers now spend significantly more time with their children than in the past. The average time dads spend with their kids has tripled from 2.5 hours per week in 1965 to about 7 hours per week in 2015. Additionally, fathers' involvement in housework has increased from 4 hours per week in 1965 to 9 hours per week in recent years, according to the Pew Research Center.31
Shared parenting is also great for moms. After all, if with more parenting and time support from another parent means more time to nurture other parts of your life — including your career. After all, we can’t have equality at work if we don’t have equality in your family — regardless of what your family looks like.
Why is child support so unfair to fathers? A case for needed reform
More reading:
What is a single mom? A solo mom? How to determine which one you are
Why is child support so unfair to fathers? A case for needed reform
As Millennials Near 40, They’re Approaching Family Life Differently Than Previous Generations (Pew Research Trends)
For Millennials, Out-of-Wedlock Childbirth Is the Norm (Slate)
The Luxury of Waiting for Marriage to Have Kids (The Atlantic)
Dramatic increase in the proportion of births outside of marriage in the United States from 1990 to 2016 (Child Trends)
Related documentary and books on shared parenting:
Recommended shared parenting documentary: Divorce Corp
Kickass Single Mom, Be Financially Independent, Discover Your Sexiest Self, and Raise Fabulous, Happy Children, By: Emma Johnson
Blend, The Secret to Co-Parenting and Creating a Balanced Family, By: Mashonda Tifrere
Co-parenting with a Toxic Ex: What to Do When Your Ex-Spouse Tries to Turn the Kids Against You, By: by Amy J. L. Baker, PhD and Paul R Fine, LCSW Divorce Poison: How to Protect Your Family from Bad-mouthing and Brainwashing, By: Dr. Richard A. Warshak
SOURCES:
- “Births: Final Data for 2022,” National Vital Statistics Reports: Volume 73, Number 2. April 4, 2024. Center for Disease Control. https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nvsr/nvsr73/nvsr73-02.pdf
- “America’s Families and Living Arrangements: 2022,” November 17, 2022. United States Census Bureau. https://www.census.gov/data/tables/2022/demo/families/cps-2022.html
- “Most Millennial moms who skip college also skip marriage, data shows,” by Jill Rosen. Johns Hopkins University. June 16, 2014.
- “2017 Women Housing Ecosystem Report,” Women in the Housing & Real Estate Ecosystem (NAWRB). https://www.nawrb.com/2017-women-housing-ecosystem-report/
- “National Marriage and Divorce Rate Trends for 2000-2022,” National Center for Health Statistics. CDC. https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/dvs/marriage-divorce/national-marriage-divorce-rates-00-22.pdf
- “Annual Social and Economic Supplements,” United States Census Bureau. https://www.census.gov/data/datasets/time-series/demo/cps/cps-asec.2022.html#list-tab-165711867
- “Current Population Survey (CPS),” United States Census Bureau. https://www.census.gov/programs-surveys/cps.html
- “Cohabitation and children's living arrangements: New estimates from the United States,” National Center for Health Statistics. CDC. https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/unmarried-childbearing.htm
- “As Millennials Near 40, They’re Approaching Family Life Differently Than Previous Generations,” by Amanda Barroso, Kim Parker and Jesse Bennett. Pew Research Center. May 27, 2020. https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/05/27/as-millennials-near-40-theyre-approaching-family-life-differently-than-previous-generations/
- “Rising nonmarital first childbearing among college-educated women: Evidence from three national studies.” by Andrew J. Cherlin. 2021. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. https://www.pnas.org/doi/full/10.1073/pnas.2109016118
- “For Millennials, Parenthood Trumps Marriage,” by Wendy Wang and Paul Taylor. Pew Research Center. March 9, 2011. https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2011/03/09/for-millennials-parenthood-trumps-marriage/
- “What The Statistics Say About Generation Z,” The Annie E. Casey Foundation. Updated Nov. 1, 2023. https://www.aecf.org/blog/generation-z-statistics
- “On the Cusp of Adulthood and Facing an Uncertain Future: What We Know About Gen Z So Far,” by Kim Parker and Ruth Igielnik. Pew Research Center. https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/05/14/on-the-cusp-of-adulthood-and-facing-an-uncertain-future-what-we-know-about-gen-z-so-far-2/
- “Gen Z Women Postpone Motherhood Because Of The Challenges Working Millennial Moms Encounter,” by Christine Michel Carter. Forbes. June 21, 2022. https://www.forbes.com/sites/christinecarter/2022/06/20/gen-z-women-postpone-motherhood-because-of-the-challenges-working-millennial-moms-encounter/?sh=4191f2152b90
- “The Childhood Loneliness of Generation Z,” by Daniel A. Cox for the Survey Center on American Life. April 4, 2022. https://www.americansurveycenter.org/the-lonely-childhood-of-generation-z/#
- “Key facts about moms in the U.S.,” by Katherine Schaeffer and Carolina Aragão. Pew Research Center. https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/05/09/facts-about-u-s-mothers/
- “The Changing Profile of Unmarried Parents,” by Gretchen Livingston. https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2018/04/25/the-changing-profile-of-unmarried-parents/
- “As Millennials Near 40, They’re Approaching Family Life Differently Than Previous Generations,” by Amanda Barroso, Kim Parker, and Jesse Bennett. Pew Research Center. May 27, 2020. https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/05/27/as-millennials-near-40-theyre-approaching-family-life-differently-than-previous-generations/
- “Parenting in America Today,” by Rachel Minkin And Juliana Menasce Horowitz. Pew Research Center. Jan. 24, 2023. https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2023/01/24/parenting-in-america-today/
- “Data on Poverty and Income,” National Women’s Law Center. https://nwlc.org/issue/data-on-poverty-income/
- “America’s Families and Living Arrangements: 2022,” U.S. Census Bureau. Nov. 17, 2022. https://www.census.gov/newsroom/press-releases/2022/americas-families-and-living-arrangements.html
- “Religion and Living Arrangements Around the World,” Pew Research Center. Dec. 12, 2019. https://www.pewresearch.org/religion/2019/12/12/religion-and-living-arrangements-around-the-world/
- “44 Percent of Custodial Parents Receive the Full Amount of Child Support,” U.S. Census Bureau. https://www.census.gov/newsroom/press-releases/2018/cb18-tps03.html
- “Less than 1 in 4 single-mother families receive child support,” The Annie E. Casey Foundation. Oct. 26, 2023. https://www.aecf.org/blog/less-than-1-in-4-single-mother-families-receive-child-support
- “A Tale of Two Fathers,” by Gretchen Livingston and Kim Parker. Pew Research Center. https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2011/06/15/a-tale-of-two-fathers/
- “Child well-being in single-parent families,” The Annie E. Casey Foundation. April 6, 2024. https://www.aecf.org/blog/child-well-being-in-single-parent-families
- “Common Challenges Faced by Single Parents: Exploring the Hurdles of Solo Parenthood,” by Larabeth Fitzroy-Smith. TheGentleParents. https://thegentleparents.com/2023/08/common-challenges-single-parents-face/
- “Research punctures ‘Modern' fathers myth – except for nappies that is…” Warwick. https://warwick.ac.uk/newsandevents/pressreleases/research_punctures_modern/
- “What does Dad really want? More time with his kids,” Star Tribune. June 16, 2018. https://www.startribune.com/what-does-dad-really-want-more-time-with-his-kids/485607642/
- “Joint versus sole physical custody: Outcomes for children independent of family income or parental conflict,” by Linda Nielsen. Journal of Child Custody. Jan. 24, 2018. https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5154a075e4b08f050dc20996/t/5a6a58370d9297962b6ef1fd/1516918840631/2018+Child+Custody+60+studies+.pdf
- “Key facts about dads in the U.S.,” by Katherine Schaeffer. Pew Research Center. June 15, 2023. https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/06/15/key-facts-about-dads-in-the-us/
This makes no sense.. you said women now have equality and are getting help but in the stats it says only 44% get help from the father’s. That’s not even 50% so can’t round up… Round down…
And 30% of mother’s live in poverty… While married mother’s live in 8% poverty.
No I don’t think you’ve actually spoken to women as to why they don’t want to be married.
Because if you actually thought about it, then you’d realize that women would rather be single and in 30% poverty then married.
Marriage used to be the ownership of a woman. Women are no longer owned so there’s no reason to get married. The only incentive is retirement. Buy if women don’t have to live in 30% poverty and don’t have the stress of 18 years of a mental and finical gold digger. They will have more money and be happier.
Wasn’t there an article about married women are the saddest while single women are the happiest.
Marriage wasn’t made for women. It was made for men.
This entire article is nothing but a lie and I can’t understand why… When the truth would fit better. Even an article written through the Huffington post shows that the percentage of black single mothers is over 60% which is double what this article states. So what is The purpose behind the false information you’re putting out… what do you have to gain?
Hi Emma- I appreciate the work you are doing in bringing awareness through your own perspectives and knowledge. The statistics here were powerful. I would say that your perspective as a wealthy single mom gives a certain view that frames some of your writing and excludes certain other perspectives. Of course this is always the case, we all have limited perspectives. I thin we cannot talk about single moms without talking about domestic violence. Beside seeing statistics on “single mom by choice” I want to see “single mom not by choice” or “single mom by trauma”. There are so many women who are single parenting because of abuse and leaving violent partners. I would also challenge “millenial moms are more comfortable with being working parents”. I do not agree with this sentiment, likely because I do not live as a wealth single mom. If I were making great money, perhaps I would feel more okay with being a working single mom, but I don’t make good money and I struggle to get by. We can criticize this or problem solve it, but in reality I know it isn’t my problem to fix. I hold a master’s degree and as a counselor I will probably never make enough money to pay off my student loans. With the pandemic, I have been out of wages for 3 months. And as your article recognizes, I am one of those people who have only received a small portion of the child support I am owed. Finally I would like to say that we need to challenge this perspective that shared custody or parent time arrangements are the goal. While I genuinely celebrate for you or any people who have this situation, it is a privilege. Many single mothers have an ex-partner or child(ren)’s father who is, like I mentioned before, violent, abusive, or mentally ill. We can talk about the goal of having harmonious co-parenting arrangements, but we need to know this is only realistic or even safe for part of the population of single moms we are discussing. The stigma I encounter here is shame in having a partner who is narcissistic or dysfunctional, and that shame if wrong. No single mother or survivor of domestic violence or other trauma-defined circumstances needs to be judged for a problem that a broken world and intergenerational trauma have created. This stigma is toxic and I would like to see it brought to light much more. Thank you for your time and consideration, I appreciate this conversation.
Your point on black dads is a lie.
The illegitimacy rate for black children is 80%. Fifty percent don’t know who their fathers are or have no regular contact with their fathers.
The study you are undoubtedly quoting does NOT communicate that black fathers overall spend more time with their children than fathers of other races overall, but rather that black fathers spend more time with their children than fathers of other races in COMPARATIVE relationships. So while married black fathers spend more time with their children than married white fathers, let’s say, the vast majority of black fathers overall are still unmarried and have little to no contact with their children.
Lying to make black people feel better is a disservice and is a form of erasure of children who suffered through these experiences and have long-lasting emotional/psychological issues as a result.
Woah…somebody can’t stand to hear facts that don’t favor Whites. The CDC actually agrees with Emma and also that 80% rate is taken at the time of births if someone marks, they are not married. It has nothing to do with what happens when Black mother, child, and Dad goes home.
Y’all are just used to hearing bad narratives that you would need reprogramming to believe some truths that are out there, and this is not the only one you’d be dissatisfied with hearing.
Yr figures are wrong just fake news.Seeing the black dads are the most involved…
Knew something was up
our community will never improve if ppl like u continue to whitewash our true problems. How bout instead of generalizing yr past relationship problems to our culture try reporting TRUTH next time
#FakeNews
#fakestats
Statements recognizing this huge increase in single mothers doesn’t support any position that this is a good trend, in fact statistics show its actually detrimental to humanity. Men are going MGTOW because of silly articles trying to justify and normalize this ridiculous trend. Women just be the women you were meant to be not who these people tell you to be.
What I’m wondering is if all these single moms are so educated and have high paying jobs, why do they need child support from the father.. Key word “SUPPORT” which means they can’t take care of the child by themselves cause if they could they wouldn’t be going to court for “SUPPORT” think about it.
Dear women, here is the secret: Please stop whoring around and then later expecting a man with high morals and a sense of responsibility to marry you. Such a man abhors you and only considers you useful a sex toy. No man is proud to present you as his wife after you have satisfactorily ‘explored your sexuality’. And we know that all women lie about these numbers.
For those who are abandoned it is because while you were young and pretty, you aimed for a ‘socially top’ guy who settled for you because he couldn’t get the hotter girls as they were busy dating older guys with more money. When he is older and can get the younger hot ones, he then goes for them. It is a screwed dating world because everyone wants to get a good deal, in other words; we all want to be the more messed up ones in the relationship.
Good luck to those who are still into relationships ! Enjoy your Godless mess.
PS. For the christian women; stop expecting Boaz (or Joseph) to marry you when you have the character of Delilah (or Jezebel).
LOL So this is why this Baby Alive doll I bought last night from Target has a setting for greeting moms and a separate setting for greeting dads. We’re taking over!
And that’s a sad thing.
I think it is so hard to raise kids without some help. A partner is ideal because that usually means more money and more time to devote to the children but extended family, or friends can compensate for that. There seems to be a lack of an effective social safety net for poor single moms, who most need it. I think the Emma’s of the world are heroes but you are a winner and so many single moms can’t picture themselves being so strong and confident. I admire you for being an example that while the odds may be tougher than they should be they aren’t insurmountable. Complaining about problems has a place but helping to fix them, that’s a way higher calling!
Hi i think this is great but I’m wondering how many single moms (divorced moms) end up alone and not married?
‘Alone’ and ‘not married’ are two different things.
Just like ‘Single’ and ‘Divorced’ are two different things.
Yeah, I have to agree with some of these other commenters. You’re really distorting the findings of the John Hopkins report entirely.
Your words: More educated millennials are having babies outside of marriage. Of millennial moms who have babies outside of marriage, 67% have some college education, and 32% have four or more years of higher education
John’s Hopkins Report:” Figure 1 – continued.
C. Women with one to three years of college completed (27% OF ALL BIRTHS).”
You quoted three times that amount at 67% … Is blindly spewing empowering numbers really portraying a great image for a wealthySMARTsinglemommy?
Huh? Re-read what I wrote and what you wrote … I am correct.
From the EducationNext article that is linked to entitled “Was Moynihan Right?”-
(Discussing the problem of rising rates of single motherhood among blacks, who are less likely to earn a college degree):
“The fact that single motherhood is increasing faster among women with less than a college degree means that children growing up with a single mother are likely to be doubly disadvantaged. They spend less time and receive less money from their biological fathers than children who live with their fathers. At the same time, the primary breadwinner in the family—the mother—has lower earnings than the typical mother in a married-parent family. The official poverty rate in 2013 among all families with children was 40 percent if the family was headed by an unmarried mother and only 8 percent if the family was headed by a married couple (see Figure 4). ”
(Effects on children show that boys in particular are more apt to develop anti-social behavior without their biological father present):
“Growing up with only one biological parent reduces a child’s chances of graduating from high school by about 40 percent, which is similar to the effect of having a mother who did not finish high school rather than one who did. The absence of one’s biological father has not been shown to affect a child’s verbal and math test scores, however. The evidence for other indicators of educational performance, such as high school grades, skipping school, and college aspirations, is mixed, with some studies finding that father absence lowers school attendance and aspirations and others finding no effect. Most studies find larger effects on boys than on girls.”
Might want to *read* the sources you cite, next time, and discuss the full findings instead of blindly assuming that Slate et al adequately represent scientific findings
Hello everyone my name is Mrs Lydia and i am using this medium to express my happiness on how i got my financial help from a loan company and at an affordable interest rate which is 3% so i feeling like expressing my happiness to everyone and in case you also need financial help,you can contact them via Email:[email protected]
I was raised by a single mother of three. I was the oldest and shouldered a lot of responsibility caring for my siblings. I was the classic poster-child for the latch-key kid of the 80s as a GenXer. My mother was divorced due to my dad’s choice to be unfaithful. My dad also chose to be a deadbeat and fled the country to avoid alimony and child support. He started a second family in Panama and never reached out to his first family, us. Growing up was hard, making ends meet harder, we went through some government aid, and we experienced homelessness when my mother was between jobs. The silver lining was qualifying for aid in addition to receiving merit-based aid. Contrary to some statistics, my siblings and I all went to college, all graduated, all married and are now raising our kids in two-parent homes.
I honestly do not know what is harder today: kids growing up without any father figure (like I did) or growing up in a custodial ping pong situation. When there is a dad somewhat present, it makes it harder for some kids to apply for college aid, yet that does not mean the financial support is consistent. Once a parent is no longer legally obligated to fund a kid, is it likely that the parent will continue to do so? Some do and some do not. Some divorced moms have to wrangle continuously for economic support or custody. It is a never-ending source of stress and instability.
I can see where some millenials choose to avoid dependence and constant fighting and go it alone. I do not condone having children on purpose without a network of parents, extended family or community support, but I can understand that sometimes older women without the prospect of this network might choose to experience motherhood, especially if they can financially support themselves.
Marriage never offers guaranties of a happy and peaceful life for anyone but I think we have forgotten that the purpose of marriage was to offer stability for children. When that stability is threatened by domestic abuse, etc. it gives marriage a bad rap and people might as well damn marriage as an archaic and useless social convention. BUT, if we understand marriage to be based on trust, respect, commitment, self-discipline and selflessness, you might even get to understand marriage as something built on deep friendship and even love. Those are all qualities we try to teach our children and we hope our children experience. That is what we honor most in marriage and makes it something to aspire to experience.
But marriage takes effort and sadly that is in short supply. Raising children takes effort and it takes a village, as they say. And while you can find those positive qualities without a marriage certificate, the commitment to children includes providing for their material needs and, yes, a marriage certificate is a legal document that is meant to provide some legal and financial securities. But marriage should not be considered a business deal which is what we see too often from Hollywood. Pre-nups or not, we tend to focus on the dollar amounts gained from the transactions of a divorce. If that is the point of marriage (making a good return of investment), then it adds impetus to avoid marriage “deals”.
Returning to the point, regardless of what the statistics say about single mothers, I think we simply have to extend a helping hand, when wanted and needed, to the single mother for the sake of the kids. That is hard to do because many single moms have their dignity and do not want handouts; some do not need them. However, the kids do not have to be statistics of poverty. Share a lunch, share a ticket, share some time, share the love.
The 22% statement about fathers seeing their kids is not the whole story and miss represented on this page. The 22% is only of the population of divorced fathers who at no point during the year habe lived with their child. So fathers who get nights or weekends, or summers with their kids are not part of the population that the 22% is taken from.
A simple reading of the paper, 73% of all fathers have atleast co residence with their children. That leaves 27% of fathers that do not have co residence. So that means 6% of all fathers see there kids atleast once a week and 21% of fathers do not see their atleast once a week
IT is fathers who live separately from their kids, which is 25% of US families, and includes dads who see their kids weekends and summers.
Correct it is fathers who live apart from their childrent for the entire year. Fathers who share a residence with their children at any time during the year are not part of this population on this survey. The paper explicitly defines what populations were surveyed for what questions.
Which is exactly what my post states. Thanks for reiterating it.
Yes, but when you state, “…only 22% of dads see their kids more than once per week,” the use of “only” in your reference to the stat somewhat implies that 78% of dads have no interest in seeing their kids. Furthermore, while I don’t have an immediate reference to offer, there are plenty of cases where custodial mothers deny the father’s of their children any visitation. Many without any legitimate reason for said denial. They denial their children the right to see their fathers for reasons none other than the fact that the relationship didn’t work out and the Father has moved on with his life and found a new partner.
Father’s rights in Family Law/child custody and child support matters are essentially non-existent. Our judicial system continues to favor mothers over fathers. The system turns a blind eye to mothers who regularly commit perjury by making false and unfounded allegations of domestic and/or child abuse. It’s a sad injustice to the good men and fathers out there who are being denied access to their children because of bitter ex-girlfriends and/or spouses.
Hi Joanna – Thanks, yes I know about the sexism in family courts and am committed to writing about it extensively. https://www.wealthysinglemommy.com/parental-alienation-information
I see these statistics yet wonder why there continues to be so much stigmatizing of single mothers. I honestly never thought much about it until my husband I separated 11 months ago and I eventually moved to another state with my kids to finish a graduate program. I have found myself reading all sorts of stuff about single motherhood and frankly I’m shocked at some of the negative stereotypes associated with a woman raising her kids herself. I am well-educated and working on a second Masters degree. I worked several years before having my kids and taking time off to be with them while they were young. I saved, planned and paid off student loans. My husband found greener pastures and I was faced with either accepting his behavior towards me and my kids or extricating myself from the situation. There have been lots of consequences for me which I am unhappy about but I never thought I’d encounter some of the social stigma that society seems to project towards a single mother. Frequently women become single parents because a spouse walks out, engages in infidelity, abuse, death. And those unmarried women who experience an unplanned pregnancy seem to be damned if they do damned if they don’t based on some of the deeply embedded social beliefs in this country. While you’d think we’d be cheering on a woman who decides to continue the pregnancy and make the sacrifices to raise a child we have segments of the population criticizing her or blaming her for all sorts of social ills. And if she doesn’t choose to continue the pregnancy and raise a child solo well we all get to hear about that topic in the news just about everyday. I can only hope as we see more single mothers successfully raising their children society will become more accepting and respectful of these nontraditional families. What I found even more interesting was an article regarding while we demonize single mothers we tend to martyr single dads. He is some sort of novelty and must really care about his kids. I found myself guilty of some of this myself I realized when I would extend extra credit to a single dad than a single mom. I am now more aware of how these rather archaic attitudes are deeply ingrained in many of us and its not until I find myself transitioning from nuclear family to a non-traditional family experience that I’ve become cognizant of these perceptions. So I hope stats and websites like this help us to change such anachronistic views of single mothers and nontraditional family structures. Maybe they’re more the norm than we’ve been led to believe for a long time.
I completely agree with everything you wrote, but in the last 6 months- year I have started to notice some big changes …. Lifetime auditioned me for a show called Millionaire Single Moms, brands are reaching out to me in an effort to connect with single moms in a non-patronizing way. Things are changing, slowly but surely!
So glad to hear this Emma…would love to talk to you about this! Do you have an email?
Because statistically children with absentee fathers do not perform as well in society? How is that not clear to you? Wanna know what every sociopath, career criminal and hardcore addict have in common? No father figure. Go figure that Asian Americans out perform every demographic in every aspect of society, their unstable/non-traditional family and absentee father rate is only like 17%
Oh my God, Cameron. I assume you’ll not return here to read my response to you, but perhaps you will. Unstable and non-traditional doesn’t equal poor outlook. Unstable can also mean abusive “non-absentee” father. Sure, the statistics talk about fathers who are involved in kids’ lives equate to more success. But there’s no research on what happens when the same exists in an abusive household. Well I’ll tell you from my own personal experience that although my ex has an MBA and is “educated” by most standards, he’s uneducated in the methods of effective communication and successful parenting. My ex was on the sociopath spectrum as a narcissist and our relationship together was FAR worse for my kids. We still struggled financially even though we made enough. Each time I attempted to work outside the home, or start a business he would suddenly create so much turmoil that on one occasion, my daughter was hospitalized with a stress-related near life-threatening condition that no doctor could properly assess. It was a scary and horrific time. In my kids’ eyes, they saw me as the oppressed, non-working mom. I never planned this for myself, and I’m an educated woman. It happened very slowly and I found myself out-dated in skills and exhausted without income. This isn’t the way to raise kids-
girls or boys. So I’m not sure where you get this idea – sometimes stats aren’t the reality. Statistics can LIE. It’s so easy to skew findings. So unless you’ve been there yourself, be careful about stating these types of things. You have NO idea unless you’ve lived it. I was once that person, so I can now state without question that this type of thinking must stop. Many very intelligent women are getting caught in the crossfire. I’m expecting to get out of this at some point – but at the moment it’s still stressful – 1.5 years after.
And because of the aftermath of dealing with their Dad, I’ve had to put my kids in therapy and they’re still dealing with issues. I work long and hard to ensure they know they’re loved, they’re able to be successful, regardless and in fact because of this. And I occasionally take on the traditional male role of tough love.
On the flip side, I happen to know of TWO highly successful Asians with abusive parental circumstances and who left as soon as possible. They do not have close adult relationships with their parents and they are very successful financially, however, one doesn’t have great relationships herself – and is now a single parent; the other had no desire to marry an Asian, though that wasn’t his family’s wish.
From the EducationNext article that is linked to entitled “Was Moynihan Right?”-
(Discussing the problem of rising rates of single motherhood among blacks, who are less likely to earn a college degree):
“The fact that single motherhood is increasing faster among women with less than a college degree means that children growing up with a single mother are likely to be doubly disadvantaged. They spend less time and receive less money from their biological fathers than children who live with their fathers. At the same time, the primary breadwinner in the family—the mother—has lower earnings than the typical mother in a married-parent family. The official poverty rate in 2013 among all families with children was 40 percent if the family was headed by an unmarried mother and only 8 percent if the family was headed by a married couple (see Figure 4). ”
(Effects on children show that boys in particular are more apt to develop anti-social behavior without their biological father present):
“Growing up with only one biological parent reduces a child’s chances of graduating from high school by about 40 percent, which is similar to the effect of having a mother who did not finish high school rather than one who did. The absence of one’s biological father has not been shown to affect a child’s verbal and math test scores, however. The evidence for other indicators of educational performance, such as high school grades, skipping school, and college aspirations, is mixed, with some studies finding that father absence lowers school attendance and aspirations and others finding no effect. Most studies find larger effects on boys than on girls.”
So the bad boy with narcissistic tendencies wooed poor helpless you enough to have a child with him, but then you finally saw the light? Take some ownership of your poor choices, that’s half the problem with so many single mom’s, it’s everyones fault but their own that they find themselves in such a situation.
These statistics are insanely biased. Based on these same percentages 58% of single mothers make less than 35k. We all know that is far from enough to raise a family with more than one child. Also, 67% have some college education means nothing. Who ever got a job saying I almost have a degree? I almost qualify for this job? It just means that 67% Don’t have a college degree and are getting the same jobs you can get with a high school or associates degree. Hence the less than 35k a year issue. These statistics also fail to mention how children from one parent families tend to do worse in school. Which pretty much determines if and where they go to college and what they do afterwards. Also, it’s a very different thing to have been married, have an education and started a family with the proper foundation but eventually get divorced or widowed than it is to get pregnant out of wedlock. If your partner isn’t ready to marry you they aren’t ready to have children with you. Knowing the uphill struggle to raise a family as a single parent. Why would you get out of your way to do so? Note, I have nothing against single parents that are divorced or widow. Life happens. I just don’t think it should be glorified. It seems as if women are getting out of their way have children out of wedlock and putting themselves and their children in an unnecessarily difficult situation.
You did your math wrong its 68% who make less than 40k, the 10% who make more than 80k are included in the 32% that make more than 40k.
Sorry— I have 2 Master Degrees, Homeowner, clear WELL into 6 figures, and have great role models for my african american son who is now 7. Additionally, I have 3 educated brothers ( 2 which are married) and parents that live in 50 minute proximity. Parents who have been married for 54 years. So with that said, I made a decision at 31 that I was so tired of dating these shiftless dudes that had a great Resume and no moral fabric. YEs, they were black men, educated , some highly educated– but again no sense of wanting to settle down with a decent educated sister like myself. THEREFORE, i spent the following 2 years after my 31st birthday deciding to focus on who would be a great father. Long story short.. my son is now 7 , he’ s dad I started dated in the interim after the birth, and we just broke up a few months ago… BOTTOM LINE…. experiencing motherhood was my initial focus and was the prize. Anything after was a bonus. I love the idea of a nuclear family— but it did not happen as of yet. You can get married at 90…try birthing a baby at 90… I think NOT. I am continuing to ENJOY Motherhood. ( My son loves piano, soccer, tennis, golf, advanced math classes and is reading entire grade above his current grade). MY MOTTO IS ‘ just let people do whatever they want to do– it is their life not mine. Only GOD can judge you. Struggle— please my support system ( parents and brothers) the best husband I never had. LOL!!! I’m still hopeful on positive and rewarding marriage NOT just any marriage will do. Hats off to dedicated single parents ( moms and dads) and all dedicated parents for that matter. If parents stopping parenting our society is DOOMED.
Thank YOU! I applaud you, and my story is similar. You are doing excellent!
I doubt that your son will accomplish a fraction of what you have accomplished. Men have it woven into their DNA to compete against their fathers. A boys first competitor is not society or other boys its his father. It is nothing mean or evil its just the way men are created. Men do not have that same drive to compete against their mother. Boys do not see their mother as a competitor. Its not a coincidence that black women have outgained black men when raised by single mothers. Black girls compete against their mothers from preteens on. Regardless of what you do or provide it will not replace the drive he would have had if he was raised and saw what his father has accomplished. This is a hard pill for the so call educated strong black woman to swallow.
And yes God is not the only one who judges you. The TRUTH is JUDGEMENTAL!
Sorry Charles, but I’ve seen many a boy fall by the wayside because a narcissistic father did not WANT the competition. Your theory is complete and hilarious bunk.
I can vouge. My X- wanted a baby more than a family so you guessed it she bailed out 2 months into our planned pregnancy. She dangles a family life and my daughter who will be 2 soon. Everything seems to be getting progressively worse and favoring her including custody court now !! I wanted more and am being outright stripped of any dreams. This should be a crime! Please help I’m trying best I can
What the mother of your daughter did is fundamentally wrong. She will most likely become the custodial parent, unless she is a convicted felon or has a documented drug problem. Furthermore, you will be expected to pay child support until your daughter is 18 years old. The same thing happened to me, my wife walked out on me right after our daughters first birthday. I was a dedicated and involved father, and I continue to be. I have never missed a child support payment and I have never missed a visitation. Women who do this are absolute sociopaths, and are very selfish. I’m afraid you will be dealing with this woman for many years to come, if you choose to do the right thing and stay in your daughter’s life. I wish you all the best, I am on a similar Journey. Best of luck.
The statistics cited aren’t even backed up by the articles linked to.
This article is quite simply a joke
+Ace I’m probably better off than you though. 210lb male mountain of muscle, persevered despite being raised mostly by a single mother.
All these statistics lack an intersectional analysis – the poor outcomes of children from single mother households are highly correlated to racial and economic factors, which are correlated to each other. For example, boor black children are much more likely to live in a single mother household. Poor black children are much more likely to be zoned for failing schools that lack resources to nurture their intellect. It’s a long history of white oppression of blacks through the American system, beginning with slavery, that persist. Now that educated/white women are becoming single mothers, the mainstream is becoming interested. For example, the success of this blog. Let’s not forget all our sisters out here!
Yet they are several times higher than racial disparities.
You’re not a single mother, you’re a divorced mother. Also: Has the new boyfriend molested them yet? Because he’s probably not interested in you.
What a horrible fucking thing to say. I hope your views have changed since then, but… If they haven’t, I stand by that… A lot of divorced moms *are* single moms. I see the point you’re trying to make, but at the end of the day if you’re home alone with your kids doing the best you can to provide for them all on your own, then for all intents and purposes you’re a single mom. But as far as the boyfriend thing goes, just simply fuck you – first for implying that single moms are utterly undesirable as partners worthy of being loved in any way, and secondly that all men who would be remotely interested in them must be pedophiles and child molesters, when in reality it’s people like you who are the undesirable ones in society.
Great information to have…thanks!
I agree! A reference point for all of us
“Today’s 18- to 29-year-olds value parenthood far more than marriage.” I would say this is incorrect! They value unprotected SEX more than marriage, and I would challenge anyone on that issue! I have yet to see any young persons life be better off having a child when they are young, without a degree and not married. Their mom and dad will have to raise the child and the rest of their life is usually a struggle, most the time. Seen it time and time again.