โBreaking generational patterns (of unhealthy or toxic behaviors) can be hard,โ says Kayla Reed Fitzke, an assistant professor for the Couple and Family Therapy program at the University of Iowa. โThe first step is even realizing that you have them.โ
10 signs you are coparenting with a toxic ex
Here are 10 signs of toxic parenting you should be aware of if you think youโre co-parenting with a toxic ex):
If you are co-parenting with a toxic ex, consider using an app like Our Family Wizard to keep your communications in one place. Tens of thousands of parents have used Our Family Wizard to share calendars and schedules, message, and share documents and updates about their children. Read our review of Our Family Wizard.
Not sure if youโre dealing with a toxic co-parent โ or if you have some toxic tendencies? Here are some toxic traits to watch out for:
1. Being too critical
Criticism can be helpful, but not if it is presented in a negative way by a toxic parent.
How do toxic parents behave?
Parents who are overly critical react negatively to a childโs conduct or performance rather than finding constructive ways to teach a lesson.
โAn example of being overly critical is when children have accidents (e.g. spills a glass of milk) and the parent automatically and consistently criticizes the child for being clumsy or not paying attention,โ Fitzke says.
Think you might be a toxic parent? Consider getting help from a licensed therapist through BetterHelp.
What do toxic parents say when they are too critical?
When negative criticism goes too far or becomes too frequent, it can leave lasting negative effects on children. Harsh statements like โWhat is wrong with you?โ or โYou never do anything rightโ can lead to anxiety in children.
โThe consistency in response is whatโs key here,โ Fitzke adds. โIt sends the message to kids that they may not be safe to make mistakes and may result in them hiding things as they get older.โ
How do you deal with a toxic parent or toxic ex who is too critical?
โWhen someone challenges kids in a kind and respectful way, it helps kids feel very secure,โ says Rachel Singer, a licensed counseling psychologist in Rockville, Md.
Singer suggests when co-parenting with someone who may be overly critical with a child, instead of pointing fingers, address the situation together with a therapist.
Parenting is considered toxic when parents put adult responsibilities on the shoulders of the child โ whether the parents are married, cohabiting, or living separately and co-parenting, or solo parenting, according to Fitzke.
This can be considered adultification of a child, and in separated and divorced families, can manifest in parenting alienation, where one parent turns a child against their other parent.
How do toxic parents overshare with their kids?
When a parent allows adult problems and responsibilities to become a concern of the children, it can be a red flag. Toxic parents will allow children to take on adult responsibilities at ages younger than they should, Fitzke says. For example, if parents find themselves telling their child something they might vent about to their friends, that is a cue that the topic is inappropriate, she notes.
What do toxic parents say to adultify a child?
There are many topics that should never be discussed with children. Those include:
Child support matters: โAsk your dad where the child support is this month.โ
Family discord issues: โYour mom had an affair, and thatโs why we are divorced.โ
Financial struggles: โWeโll be out on the streets if I canโt find a job.โ
Household duties: โI am depending on you to keep the house clean while I work.โ
How do you deal with a toxic parent who overshares with a kid?
If you find yourself shoving adult responsibilities and/or problems onto your kids, begin with carefully watching your statements in times of stress or when you are overwhelmed with life, Singer says.
A toxic parent puts the burden on the children to take care of his or her feelings.
How do toxic parents rely on their children?
Tasking a child with the parentโs emotional needs often happens in a co-parenting relationship, says Lynn MacBeth, a licensed professional counselor, attorney and founding member of The Parenting Institute, a Pittsburgh-based nonprofit dedicated to providing conflict resolution and counseling services to families in transition.
Itโs common to find single parents who are outwardly emotional about the absence of their children during a visitation schedule, MacBeth notes, adding that this can produce anxiety in children and make them feel as though they are doing something hurtful.
What might a toxic parent say when emotionally depending on their kid?
Some parents tend to repeat statements of overly emotional distress regarding the situation. They may say things like โI donโt know how I am going to get through this weekend without you.โ
โBe careful about saying โI miss you too much,โ MacBeth says. โCall them, but donโt harp on missing them.โ
How do you deal with a toxic parent who relies on their child?
Parents can miss their kids, but that shouldnโt become the childrenโs problem. Focus on taking ownership of your own feelings, develop meaningful adult relationships, and fill your time with hobbies, work and fitness that fills you up.
4. Disrespecting healthy boundaries
As children get older, a parentโs need to be involved in every detail of their lives lessens. Small children may not have many boundaries, but as they become teenagers, and especially into adulthood, those limits are extremely important, according to Singer.
โIf someone is crossing the line, itโs not ok,โ Singer says. โThose boundaries need to be set and respected.โ
How do toxic parents disrespect boundaries?
Ignoring boundaries could come in the form of:
Demanding information about everything
Snooping through a childโs things or technology
Meddling in adult childrenโs lives, marriages, or their own ways of parenting
Interfering with a co-parentโs visitation or relationships, including frequent calls during the other parentโs time
How do you set boundaries with a toxic co-parent?
Part of dealing with a toxic co-parenting means setting co-parenting boundaries, which are rules for you both to follow when it comes to your children and also the unshared aspects of your lives. These are some examples:
How do you deal with a toxic parent who refuses to respect boundaries?
If you are an adult with a parent who refuses to respect your boundaries, be clean and direct about what you will and will not tolerate. You must stay firm and not backslide into old habits. It can be hard! Expect your adult parent to push back, throw a fit, and become even verbally abusive.
5. Using guilt to control
One of the most subtle signs of toxic parenting is using guilt to feel in control, Fitzke says. She notes using guilt may stop or encourage behavior in the short term, but it does not help children internalize why they should behave in a certain way.
How do toxic parents use guilt to control?
According to Fitzke, parents can use guilt in both overt and covert ways such as telling a child they should feel bad about misbehaving (overt) or ignoring a child who doesnโt behave in a way that the parent finds acceptable (covert).
What do toxic parents do when using guilt to control?
Toxic individuals use guilt tactics with their adult children when they say things like, โYou should be at my house every Sunday for dinner because I am getting older and might not be around much longer.โ
How do you deal with a toxic parent who uses guilt as a weapon?
Parents should allow adult children to make their own decisions without fear of a guilt trip. Older children can establish boundaries and have permission to not feel bad for sticking to them.
6. Not allowing children to fail (or ridiculing them for it)
MacBeth says some parents push their children too hard, expecting perfection and overlooking the value of learning to fail. Children need to learn how to fail, learn grit and resistance and grow from their mistakes and hurt.
How do toxic, perfectionist parents behave?
Itโs one thing to become upset with your child on the ball field for being mean to another player, but itโs a whole new level of toxicity to ridicule them (alone or in front of others) for not performing well. Kids will fail, and thatโs OK.
Parents who exhibited this unhealthy behavior can touch on several areas of a childโs life including:
7. Pitting siblings or family members against each other
Toxic people tend to love conflict, and unfortunately, the behavior can include bringing children into the problem, Fitzke said. This can be in the form of creating conflict between adult siblings to encourage drama or fostering tension between a child and an ex, she notes.
How do toxic parents pit people against each other?
In some cases, both parents are responsible for forcing a child to take sides. Fitzke said this behavior is known as a triangle — when two people spread the tension to a third to help them cope.
โThis can occur across siblings as well,โ Fitzke said. โBecause this is a pattern of behavior over time, it can be hard to identify and harder to break.โ
How do you deal with a toxic parent who pits siblings against one another?
Fitzke notes that this sign is a pattern of behavior over time, and can be hard to identify and harder to break. Therapy, she notes, is the best way to identify and break those generational patterns.
Whether itโs a byproduct of insecurity or a fear of helplessness, reacting negatively when a child succeeds at something is a major sign of toxic parenting.
How do jealous parents behave?
Parental envy can make children feel as though they donโt deserve to succeed and oftentimes creates self-doubt.
What do jealous parents say?
An example of a jealous parent could be a mom scorning her child for being a โshow-offโ at the dance recital. Or, an older child is told he โjust wants to be better than everyone elseโ because he is a first-generation college student who is excited that he made the deanโs list.
How do you deal with a jealous parent?
Co-parenting with someone who is jealous or exhibits signs of narcissism can be difficult, but not impossible. Adult children who may be dealing with a jealous parent can set boundaries and avoid conflict.
9. Refuse to admit wrongdoing
Sometimes parents confuse their role of being in charge with the need to always be right. Singer says oftentimes, parents may have good intentions, but โthe challenge is the intention may be very different than the impact.โ
People who cannot admit they are wrong will often place the blame for their own behavior or reactions on someone else.
How do you deal with a toxic parent who insists they are right all the time?
If a parent realizes he or she has the tendency to always be right, Singer says itโs never too late to remedy it. โThere is no expiration date on apologies,โ she said. โRecap what has happened, take ownership of it, and apologize.โ
In fact, itโs never too late to change any of the behaviors of toxic parenting and mend those relationships. If you find yourself repeating unhealthy behaviors from your own parents or are dealing with an ex who is exhibiting some of the signs discussed above, reach out to a therapist who can help and be prepared to do the hard work. Parenting is never easy all the time, but itโs always worth the effort every time.
Toxic parenting is a term used to describe parenting that negatively impacts a child. According to Sara Macke, a licensed clinical social worker based in Thomsponโs Station, Tenn., the term is used in society today as more young adults work to shift the patterns and behaviors they grew up with when being parented by their own parents.
โWe are recognizing a wave of young adults with depressive symptoms and overwhelming guilt, reaching out to therapists to process these feelings without recognizing initially that it is likely caused by years and years of invalidation and emotional suppression from their childhood,โ Macke says.
What is a toxic parent?
Macke says toxic parents donโt often respect boundaries. These are some telltale signs of a toxic parent:
Overshare information with their children and involve children in their emotional concerns
Overstep boundaries or trigger their children to feel like they don't have any boundaries that are worthy of setting
Rarely ask how children are really doing, what they need, and how they can be supported
โThink about it…would you be friends with your parent?โ Macke asks. โThat can be one quick way to identify if they have toxic behaviors.โ
What are the effects of toxic parenting?
Macke says young adults who experienced toxic parenting from an emotionally immature or self-involved parent often have heavy symptoms of insecurity, self-doubt, and unhealthy boundaries themselves.
โIn my work with these young adults, we are processing family relationships, setting healthy boundaries, enforcing and reinforcing said boundaries, positive self-talk and coaching through negative or unhealthy emotions, learning how to effectively communicate and problem solve, and much more that they didn't have modeled for them growing up,โ Macke says.
She says the biggest obstacle her clients face from toxic parenting is learning to trust themselves.
There is an entire subreddit called r/toxicparents where people share their toxic parenting experiences and seek help to navigate these negative relationships.
Bottom line: Recognize signs of toxic co-parenting so you can avoid them
If you are a parent, itโs important to recognize toxic parenting traits so you can avoid them yourself and raise emotionally healthy children.
Macke says if you're a struggling parent and you feel like you've lost yourself, it's not too late to seek therapy and start to change.
โYour children will recognize that,โ she says.
What is toxic parenting?
Toxic parenting is a term used to describe parenting that negatively impacts a child.
What is a toxic parent?
Sara Macke, LCSW, says toxic parents donโt often respect boundaries.
What are the effects of toxic parenting?
Sara Macke, LCSW, says young adults who experienced toxic parenting from an emotionally immature or self-involved parent often have heavy symptoms of insecurity, self-doubt, and unhealthy boundaries themselves.
What are the signs of a toxic parent?
There are nine signs of a toxic parent: being too critical; not keeping grown-up stuff to the grown-ups; relying on children for emotional support; disrespecting healthy boundaries; using guilt to control; not allowing children to fail (or ridiculing them for it); pitting siblings or family members against each other; becoming jealous of a childโs success; and refuse to admit wrongdoing.
We talk a lot about how to successfully co-parent with an ex-partner. But what happens when exes simply canโt play nice? Thatโs when experts recommend a parallel parenting plan.
โParallel parenting is the last resort for joint custody,โ says Jann Blackstone, the founder of Bonus Families, a nonprofit organization dedicated to peaceful coexistence between divorced or separated parents and their combined families. Blackstone authors the weekly Ex-etiquette syndicated column that appears in hundreds of newspapers and news sites around the world and has written six books on divorce and parenting.
โParallel parenting is for parents who absolutely can't get along, can't make decisions together for their children,โ says Blackstone, who has made appearances on the Oprah Winfrey Show, PBS and Good Morning America. โSo parallel parenting ceases the conflict.โ
Here's what you should know before you decide if parallel parenting is right for your family:
What is the difference between parallel parenting and co-parenting?
A co-parenting agreement typically involves raising children with open lines of communication and maintaining a cordial relationship, at least as far as the kids are concerned. Co-parents consult with one another to make the best decisions for their children.
In a parallel parenting agreement, each parent has control over their own parenting responsibilities without the need to collaborate or obtain consent from the other parent. Parallel parenting is often considered in high-conflict separation cases to avoid exposing children to more tension.
โParallel parenting differs from traditional co-parenting because the parents detach from each other on parenting decisions,โ says California family law attorney B. Robert Farzad, whose writing on divorce has been featured in The Huffington Post, Yahoo! Parenting and the Los Angeles Times.
โIn parallel parenting situations, contact is minimized to only serious situations, or even if there is regular contact, the contact is short and to the point,โ Farzad says. โIt is not a collaborative process where there is an exchange of ideas, except in serious situations.
โParallel parenting removes the pressure to be on the same page about all parenting tactics and attitudes, and you don't have to communicate as often. Essentially, both of you have to let go of a lot of control and respect that the other parent is competent โ which is a great foundation for successful co-parenting.โ
In a parallel parenting agreement, important details must be legally documented by court order to avoid unnecessary discussions down the road, Farzad says.
โParallel parenting does not work well if it requires regular communication between the parents to work out issues such as the start and end of parenting time, custodial exchange locations, responsibility for travel, rules regarding cancellations of parenting time and what happens if disputes occur between the parents.โ
Farzad says the key to a successful parallel parenting plan is specificity. Every detail must be documented so the parents can rely on their court order to determine responsibilities.
For parents who want to work out the details of a parallel parenting plan without involving the courts, Rocket Lawyer provides a free, customizable Parenting Plan template. To avoid conflict in the planning process, parents may want to consider drafting the document with the help of a neutral third party.
The main benefit of a parallel parenting agreement is that children are not constantly exposed to parental conflict.
โSeparated or divorced parents who often voice conflict about issues in front of the children expose the children to unhealthy emotions and confusion,โ Farzad says. โWhen this is a constant in the childrenโs life, the children can suffer from anxiety, depression or potentially worse mental health ailments.โ
Numerous studies have shown how parental conflict can negatively impact a childโs emotional wellbeing. A study published in the Journal of Family Psychology found that the rate of clinically significant mental health problems was 300% higher in children from divorced families than in children from intact families. However, another study published in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology found no difference between children from divorced and intact families when post-divorce parental conflict was reduced.
Blackstone does caution that the lack of communication between parents can also be damaging for children, which is why she only recommends pursuing a parallel parenting plan in the most irreconcilable cases.
โYour children are witness to this, and everything you do sets the stage for a child and how they learn to problem solve, how they learn to discuss,โ Blackstone says.
โI spend a lot of time interviewing the children, and they don't like when their parents can't just say hi without arguing. Kids go back and forth, and they know.โ
When your ex-partner has been diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder or even if they donโt have a formal diagnosis, parallel parenting can be a healthier alternative to collaborative co-parenting.
โThere's nothing you can do about certain things,โ Blackstone says. โAnd you have to parallel parent if you have narcissistic issues or things like that where there's no reasoning with somebody.โ
Although a parallel parenting plan can greatly reduce the need for communication between exes, some interaction is unavoidable. When youโre dealing with a narcissistic parent, itโs important to ensure all interactions are logged in case they need to be referenced in court.
Blackstone says her clients often communicate via email or text when necessary, though there are numerous free and low-cost co-parenting apps available.
OurFamilyWizard.com is an app used by tens of thousands of parents to share calendars, schedules, documents and information. We ranked Our Family Wizard No. 1 on our list of best co-parenting apps.
While parallel parenting may be necessary in the long term, it can also be used occasionally to let the dust settle from a high-conflict separation.
โTime does heal wounds, and when the wounds of the heart and mind heal, parents can calm down and learn to communicate productively for their kids,โ Farzad says.
Farzad advises:
First, speak with the other parent to make sure they are ready.
Decide what issues you and the other parent are ready to transition to co-parenting. It need not be all or nothing. Parents do not have to go from a full parallel parenting plan to a full co-parenting plan. Perhaps initially, they try co-parenting more on one or a few issues and see how that works out.
Blackstone recommends parents seek counseling to resolve any lingering issues and move forward with their childrenโs best interests in mind.
BetterHelp is an online counseling company with hundreds of licensed therapists that can provide online counseling to you and your family, all from the comfort of your home.ย Rated A+ by the BBB. Read: Best online therapy sites for
โReally do some serious soul searching about what your words and deeds are doing to your children,โ Blackstone says. โWhat I would do is get some therapy and be honest with yourself. I'm not saying you have to be all โKumbaya,โ but emails back and forth โ that's co-parenting as long as you aren't insulting.โ
What is the difference between parallel parenting and co-parenting?
A co-parenting agreement typically involves raising children with open lines of communication and maintaining a cordial relationship, at least as far as the kids are concerned. In a parallel parenting agreement, each parent has control over their own parenting responsibilities without the need to collaborate or obtain consent from the other parent.
How do you start parallel parenting?
In a parallel parenting agreement, important details must be legally documented by court order to avoid unnecessary discussions down the road.
Online doctor services have been growing in accessibility in recent years, thanks to improved technology, heightened security, more acceptance by health insurance, and overall public comfort with using a smart phone, app and other tech to communicate with health care providers.
The benefits of communicating with an online doctor โ whether a long-time family practitioner, a specialist near you, or through one of the many online doctor portals โ are many:
Convenience
Low-cost
Quick service โ often immediate appointments available
Access to a wide variety of specialists throughout the country (youโre not limited to those in your community)
Easy to get second opinions
In this article, youโll find a detailed review of the top providers in the telehealth industry today.
These are some common questions about telehealth and telemedicine:
What are telehealth and telemedicine apps?
Telehealth and telemedicine apps allow you to receive care from your doctor or other health care provider without ever leaving home. Through most telemedicine apps, you can schedule appointments, message your doctors, view test results, and access health records.
Telehealth appointments are typically conducted using video calling software on your phone or computer. Some may also offer online chat services.
Who should use telemedicine apps?
Anyone can and should use telemedicine apps for non-emergency, preventative, and mental health services. Dr. Jordan D. Frey, a licensed plastic surgeon based in Buffalo, N.Y., says telemedicine apps are excellent tools for patients and doctors to increase communication and access to care.
โThey are especially useful for check-up visits or sick visits where a full physical exam is not an essential part of the visit, especially for kids,โ Frey says.
He says telemedicine apps are also useful for getting answers to questions from a provider in a way that is efficient for both parties.
Dr. Jennifer Roelands, an integrative medicine trained OB/GYN, runs a telehealth practice called Well Woman MD based in Los Angeles. She sees all of her patients virtually.
“My patients, when asked if they would prefer to see me in person, have all said no,” Roelands says. “They like the convenience of being able to be at home or work and not drive in LA traffic to an office.”
She says if you are patient and comfortable with technology, a telemedicine app is a smart choice for easy messaging, appointment scheduling, and “walk-in” care.
In Roelands' experience, individuals who have limited mobility or financial barriers prefer telemedicine options.
Who should not use telemedicine apps?
Frey says telemedicine apps should not be used for a person experiencing an emergency and for visits where a physical exam is critical to diagnosis.
Roelands adds that if you have not seen a doctor in years, you should be seen in person. Other considerations could be those with visual impairments or language barriers, since not all telemedicine platforms have options for addressing these individuals.
How do you choose an online doctor service/telemedicine app?
First, see if your health care provider offers its own telemedicine platform. If they donโt, Frey says the best way to choose a third-party online doctor service is to look at reviews.
โYou want one that is quick, responsive, and effective,โ she says. โYou also want to ensure it is serviced by licensed physicians and providers.โ
There are several important factors we use to choose the best online doctor apps to recommend:
Rating and reviews
How does this online doctor app rate with Better Business Bureau, Trustpilot, and individual client reviews?
Ease of use
Is the online doctor appโs technology up-to-date with a great app, multiple modes of communication, and otherwise great user experience?
Price
Which apps are a) most price competitive, b) transparent in pricing, c) offer financial aid?
Honesty and transparency
How is customer service? Are there hidden fees? Is it easy to change doctors? Is canceling straight-forward? Is it easy and fast to connect with a helpful customer service representative through multiple channels โ chat, email, phone?
Security
We rated each online doctor platform for its compliance with Internet security practices, which work to prevent malicious third-parties from accessing your medical, personal, and financial data.
Privacy
Is the site HIPAA compliant? Does it take steps to ensure that your personal and health information will never be shared illegally. Do users have the option to engage anonymously?
# 1 best online doctor app: Teladoc
Our No. 1 choice for the best online doctor app is Teladoc, for a few main reasons: Itโs fast, easy to use, and unlike many of its competitors, covered by many large insurance companies.
To create a Teladoc account, all you need to do is download the app or visit the website and fill out a form asking you about your medical history and the reason youโd like to make an appointment. In minutes, youโll be able to make an appointment with doctors and specialists. You can schedule your appointment for up to two days in advance or, if youโre in a rush to be seen, you can enter a queue where youโll be paired with the next available physician.
Take it from me as a real user that this is a life saver. Last June, I woke up one morning with my left eye swollen nearly completely shut due to a surprise infection. I needed antibiotics fast, but my day was full of meetings, and all of the local clinics were booked up by at least two days. A friend recommended I try Teladoc, and on my lunch break, I was able to not only create an account and join the queue, but be seen in between my meetings. Following the call, the doctor sent a prescription for my antibiotics over to the pharmacy, and I was able to pick them up right after work.
As a bonus, you can also book mental health appointments through Teladocโs online therapy site BetterHelp, making Teladoc an ideal platform for someone who is looking for both of those services.
Teladoc also offers Primary360, a service that connects patients with a designated primary care provider for virtual visits via phone or video. Your PCP will help you stay on top of your health and refer you to specialists as needed.
Many insurance plans will cover care provided by Teladoc, which means you can pay as little as $0 out of pocket for your appointment. Without insurance, the average โeveryday careโ appointment costs just $89.
Teladoc is not accredited with the Better Business Bureau (BBB).
Our Teladoc review
Teladoc is a telemedicine and virtual healthcare provider that was founded in 2002. In 2015, Teladoc acquired online therapy giant BetterHelp, and in 2020, Teladoc acquired Livongo, a company that provides continuous monitoring for diabetes and other chronic health conditions.
Considered by many to be the industry leader in telemedicine, Teladoc offers a variety of virtual services for full person care, available by both desktop computer and smart phone.
Today, Teladoc offers comprehensive virtual care through board-certified doctors and therapists, completely online, in all 50 U.S. states. The company is considered by many to be the leader in the U.S. telemedicine industry. CVS MinuteClinic uses Teladoc to handle its virtual services.
While Teladoc is not meant to be used in emergency situations, you can talk to a doctor online through the Teladoc app via a phone or video session. The app is available for both Apple and Android devices.
Online doctors through Teladoc can cover a wide range of health needs:
Everyday Care, which covers anything you may otherwise go to Urgent Care for (such as stomachaches and the flu, or for dermatological care such as acne or eczema)
Children & Family Care, which covers pediatric care (such as pink eye, or rashes, as well as expert advice and diagnoses)
Mental Health Care, which covers issues such as anxiety or stress
Wellness and Prevention, which can cover basic preventative measures and wellness checks for nutrition, back pain and sexual health
Teladoc is HIPAA compliant, and all data transmitted through the companyโs platform is fully encrypted. The website is also built on an SSL certificate.
Teladoc reviews from BBB and Trustpilot
Teladoc has a B rating with the BBB but is currently not accredited. It has 1.15 /5 stars. Most of the negative reviews on the BBB website are from customers who had technical difficulty using the app or who were frustrated that they did not receive a prescription after their appointment. Teladoc has 4.7/5 stars on Trustpilot.
How much does Teladoc cost?
Teladoc can cost you as little as $0 if your insurance covers your visit. However, you can still use Teladoc if you donโt have insurance; a basic visit for Everyday Care would be no more than $75 without insurance coverage. Mental health services have different costs. For example:
Therapist visits can cost as low as $99, and remain that way for single and recurring visits with the same therapist
Psychiatrist visits can cost as low as $299 for the initial visit, and $199 for recurring visits
Exact pricing is available when you create an account, as pricing can depend on your employer and selected health plan.
Sesame Care is an online health care marketplace that connects patients directly with doctors across 80+ specialties, with virtual and in-person care options. You can also get low-cost prescriptions and prescription refills.
When you visit the Sesame Care website, you can filter providers by specialty or medical condition and choose one based on availability, appointment cost and patient reviews. Once they select an appointment time, new patients will have to fill out a medical history form before connecting with their chosen provider.
Providers on Sesame Care can prescribe anything medically appropriate, and patients have the option to get their medications delivered (takes 2-3 business days) or sent to a local pharmacy for pickup.
Sesame Care services are considered out of network for insurance companies, though your insurance may reimburse you for your care, depending on your plan. Sesame Care claims its patients save up to 60% off traditional medical costs.
Sesame Care is HIPAA compliant and fully encrypted through the Stripe payment platform.
We like Sesame Care because it isnโt a one-size-fits-all platform and puts patients in the driverโs seat of their own care.
Because Sesame Care is a health care marketplace, there isnโt a flat rate for appointments โ you select the exact provider you want to see based on their speciality, patient ratings, and cost of service.
Because of this model, however, itโs important to note that Sesame does not individually vet the providers on its site, beyond ensuring each one shares their licensure, years of practice, education, training, and specializations. They recommend patients use due diligence in selecting a provider based on client reviews and credentials.
Sesame Care patients have the option to schedule a telehealth visit or to schedule an in-person visit with a local provider.
Sesame Care reviews from BBB and Trustpilot
Sesame Care has been accredited since 2022 and has an A- rating from the Better Business Bureau with 3.91 out of 5 stars based more than 120 customer reviews. It has 4.5 out of 5 stars on Trustpilot, with numerous reviewers citing excellent quality of care and affordability.
How much does an online doctor visit with Sesame Care cost?
Each provider on Sesame Care sets their own price for an online doctor visit, so costs vary by provider and specialty.
However, Sesame Care offers a monthly membership called Sesame Plus for $10.99 a month or $99 billed annually. As a member your visits cost as low as $29 per appointment. The annual membership includes one free lab or blood test per year. Having a membership saves you $20-30 off medical services, including:
With one exception (Virtuwell), every one of the providers follows HIPAA compliance.
Amwell review
Amwell (formerly named American Well) is another online doctor service provider, founded in Boston back in 2009. Amwell provides services not just to individuals, but to employers, health systems, and health insurance plans.
Amwell is HIPAA compliant, and the platform is fully encrypted. The Amwell app is available on both Apple and Android devices.
Amwell offers a variety of services, including the usual urgent-care medical treatment, with therapy and psychiatry appointments, nutritional assistance, and women's health (including breastfeeding!). Amwell also provides access to online doctors that specialize in any number of areas, such as physical therapy or dermatology.
Amwell claims that through the health insurance they accept, they cover more than 80 million people.
Amwell reviews from BBB and Trustpilot
Amwell has a A+ rating with the BBB and a score of 1 out of 5 stars based on four customer reviews. On Trustpilot, Amwell has a rating of 1.3 out of 5 stars based on more than 2,212 customer reviews. Most negative reviews note extremely long wait times or other technical difficulties using the app.
How much does an online doctor visit with Amwell cost?
Costs, without insurance, are roughly average when compared to their competitors: an everyday, urgent-care visit costs $79 or less. However, Amwell charges different prices for therapy, and those costs vary depending on your insurance provider.
CallonDoc is a telemedicine platform you can use to get prescription medications, request lab testing or STD tests, and more. CallonDoc allows you to communicate with a licensed medical doctor, nurse practitioner, or physician assistant via email, phone, or text. Depending on your preferences and the severity of your condition, you may also video chat with a medical expert.
To use CallonDoc, youโll need to create an account and access the service through a web browser. The company does not currently have an app.
CallonDoc is HIPAA compliant. The site is built on an SSL certificate, which is industry standard. Any data and information shared through the platform is fully encrypted for your protection.
CallonDoc reviews from BBB and Trustpilot
CallonDoc has an B- rating from the Better Business Bureau (BBB) and 1.2/5-star customer rating on the BBB website, as well as a 3.4/5-star customer rating on Trustpilot. Reviewers call out how affordable, fast, convenient, and hassle-free the service is.
How much does CallonDoc cost?
CallonDoc costs $39.99 per consultation for most conditions, including pediatric urgent care, anxiety, and depression. (Treatments for ADHD, diabetes, certain STDs, and other conditions also cost $39.99.) To discuss any medical issue over the phone or get a second opinion on something, you can also schedule a phone consultation starting at $39.99.
CallonDoc doesnโt accept insurance, however any meds they prescribe you may be covered by your insurance.
Doctor on Demand review
Doctor on Demand is a newer player on the telehealth field, having been founded in just 2012. Doctor on Demand offers a one-stop option for care, covering urgent care visits, behavior, and preventative health, as well as treating chronic conditions.
Doctor on Demand is able to prescribe medications, though they do not write prescriptions for narcotics, schedule drugs, or pain relief. However, they are able to send prescriptions for allergies, antibiotics, and other common ailments.
Doctor on Demand is HIPAA compliant and has numerous policies in place to protect your medical information, including encryption. The Doctor on Demand app is available for both Apple and Android.
Doctor on Demand reviews from BBB and Trustpilot
Doctor on Demand's parent company, Included Health, has an A rating with the BBB. On Trustpilot, Doctor On Demand has a score of 1.3 out of 5 stars based on 365 reviews.
How much does Doctor on Demand cost?
As far as cost goes, the price may vary depending on your insurance, but you will see how much it will cost before the visit starts. Doctor on Demand does have flat-fee pricing for those not covered by insurance:
$89 for a 15-minute consultation with an online medical doctor
$134 for 25 minutes with a psychologist, or $184 for 50 minutes
$299 for the initial 45-minute psychiatrist consultation, and an additional $129 for a 15-minute follow-up.
However, while on these calls, you will be given the opportunity to extend the call, for an additional cost.
Doctor on Demand is covered by most of the biggest insurance names out there, and offers employee discounts for people employed by many big-name businesses (such as Walmart). They do offer coverage for people who are uninsured as well, though prices are a bit higher. They are also included in Medicare Part B, as well as insurance provided by many businesses for their employees.
Forward Healthcare is focused on high-tech, online preventative care, though the monthly fee structure allows for real-time online concierge doctors visits, as well as in-person doctors visits with a physician near you. You can download the Forward app for either Android or Apple devices.
Forward focuses on technology to help diagnose and prevent health care issues:
Real-time bloodwork analysis
Skin cancer scans
Genetic analysis
Biometric monitoring
Forward also uses this technology to create a multitude of charts, which allow both patients and doctors to monitor health concerns such as:
Coronary health
Anxiety
Sleep
Testing and lab results
Another important difference is that Forward allows for both online, app-based visits as well as in-person visits, both unlimited and included with the monthly fee. Forwardโs doctors can prescribe some medications, and even have a limited pharmacy on-site, allowing them to send prescriptions directly to you. First fills of prescriptions for blood pressure, diabetes, asthma, antibiotics and other similar medications are included in membership. All seasonal and travel vaccines and medications are included in your membership.
Other recurring medications unable to be filled on-site can be sent to your pharmacy, or directly to you. Prescriptions are coordinated through insurance, though visits are not.
Forward is HIPAA compliant, and leverages encryption and de-identification techniques to store your data in order to ensure it remains private.
Forward Healthcare reviews from BBB and Trustpilot
Forward Healthcare previously had an F rating with the BBB, based purely on the number of complaints, but now the business has an A+ rating showing an effort to resolve former complaints. Forward Healthcare is not accredited with the BBB, and their BBB profile only has seven customer reviews, with an average rating of 1.63 out of 5 stars. Forward Healthcare has a score of 3.8 out of 5 stars on Trustpilot, based on 382 customer reviews.
How much does an online doctor visit with Forward cost?
Forward works on a monthly subscription basis of $149 and includes comprehensive medical and mental health services.
GoodRx Care review
GoodRX is a company that started life as a way for getting prescription medication online for cheaper. In 2019, the company purchased the telemedicine company HeyDoctor and integrated that companyโs services into its own in order to begin offering telemedicine visits.
You can use GoodRX to make appointments related to a number of specific types of medical care, including:
Sexual health: UTIs, birth control, Plan B, Pregnancy Testing, STDs, and more
Medication refills: short-term medications, acid reflux, migraine meds, cholesterol, hypertension, diabetes, asthma, and more
General health and preventative care: Including wellness checks, flu treatment, smoking cessation, and more
To use GoodRX Care, all you need to do is go to their website and create an account. From there, youโll select a service from their list, answer a few questions about your medical history and the reason for your visit, and youโll be connected with a provider through their platform. After your visit, if you require a prescription, it will either be sent to a local pharmacy for same-day pickup or you can opt to receive it by mail.
While GoodRX Care is HIPAA compliant, itโs worth noting that parent company GoodRX was involved in a scandal in 2020. Back then, people realized that GoodRX was sharing information with companies like Facebook, Google, and other advertising/marketing companies. While not a breach of HIPAA, it was also not a popular move, and GoodRX announced that they will be taking steps to change their policies.
GoodRx Care reviews from BBB and Trustpilot
GoodRX is accredited and has an A- rating with the BBB. The company also has a score of 4.3 out of 5 stars on Trustpilot, based on over 2,830 customer reviews. Positive reviews mention fast response time and the convenience of using the platform, while negative reviews note technical difficulties or confusion over what was possible over a virtual visit.
How much does an online doctor visit with GoodRx Care cost?
Most appointments through GoodRX Care start at $19 each if you have a Gold membership. The gold membership itself costs $9.99 per month for individuals and $19.99 per month for families but also comes with additional perks like additional savings on prescriptions.
Appointments without a Gold membership start at $49.
K Health review
K Health is a telemedicine app that allows you to text with board-certified primary care doctors โ but no phone calls or video meetings. K Healthโs team of medical professionals is available to chat between 9 a.m. and 11 p.m. EST, seven days a week.
To use K Health, all you need to do is download their free app (itโs available on iOS and Google).
Some of the issues K Healthโs doctors can prescribe medication for include:
Cold and flu
Sinus infections
Bladder infections
Dental infections
Fatigue
Back and neck pain
Abdominal pain
Allergies
Anxiety and depression
K Health is both HIPAA and GDPR compliant. The platform uses various forms of encryption and de-identification technology to keep your personal medical data private.
K Health reviews from BBB and Trustpilot
K Health has a F rating with the BBB and a score of 1.13 out of 5 stars based on 197 customer reviews. On Trustpilot, K Health has a score of 3.6 out of 5 stars based on more than 1,470 customer reviews. K Health has a 4.7/5-star rating in Appleโs app store and a 4.6/5-star rating in Google Playโs app store. Positive reviews highlight that K Healthโs services are good for treating basic issues. Negative reviews note that the app sometimes crashes and randomly deletes messages.
How much does an online doctor visit with K Health cost?
K Health does not work with insurance. For primary care, you'll pay $49 for unlimited virtual visits for the first month of membership. After that, you will be billed in advance for three months at a time. A membership includes:
24/7 urgent care (no appointment needed)
Unlimited text-based visits with licensed health providers
Flexible appointments for chronic illnesses
Prescription management
Treatment for anxiety and depression
Lemonaid review
Lemonaid is a telemedicine platform that offers virtual doctorsโ visits and online pharmacy services. Essentially, itโs a one-stop shop for visiting a licensed doctor or nurse practitioner and getting medication.
To use Lemonaid, download their app on iOS or Android.
Lemonaid can prescribe medications for a wide range of conditions, including:
Anxiety
Depression
Insomnia
Acne
Acid reflux
Herpes
Migraines
High blood pressure
Asthma
Hair loss
High cholesterol
Lemonaid is HIPAA compliant and encrypts all data that it collects for your privacy.
Lemonaid reviews from BBB and Trustpilot
Lemonaid is accredited and has an A+ rating from the BBB and a 2.03 out of 5-star customer rating on the BBB site, with one reviewer saying the platform is โsuch a help for busy moms.โ Other reviews note that Lemonaid is easy to use, providing prompt medical attention from honest and friendly doctors. Some reviews do note that the app is glitchy and that doctors and nurse practitioners sometimes donโt answer follow-up messages. Lemonaid has a score of 4.5 out of 5 stars on Trustpilot based on 178 customer reviews.
How much does an online doctor visit with Lemonaid cost?
Lemonaid doesnโt accept insurance for consultations. Most consultations cost $25. For $99 per month an individual can get matched with an online primary care physician ($178 per month for families).
If you decide to use Lemonaidโs mail-order pharmacy, youโll have to pay out of pocket for your drugs. If you get your prescription sent to a pharmacy, though, insurance may be able to cover costs. Lemonaid offers acid reflux medication for $10 a month, high cholesterol medication starting at $15 a month, and migraine medication starting at $20 a month.
Some of Lemonaidโs services have a flat monthly fee. Depression and anxiety services, for instance, are $95 per month. This fee includes monthly video consultations with a member of Lemonaidโs medical team and medication shipped to you, if prescribed. If youโre prescribed medication for anxiety or depression through Lemonaid, you will need to do a follow-up video consultation at the end of the first month in order to get a refill. If treatment is working for you, Lemonaidโs medical team can prescribe you a 30-, 60-, or 90-day supply. Your membership also includes unlimited messaging with Lemonaidโs medical team.
On November 1, 2021, Lemonaid Health was acquired by the ancestry and genetic research company 23andMe.
LiveHealth review
LiveHealth is an online doctor service provider, founded in 2017. They offer medical and allergy support starting at $55 per visit, as well as therapy ($85), psychological ($100) and psychiatric services ($185 first visit, $80 follow-ups).
LiveHealthโs online doctors are able to prescribe non-narcotic medicine, along with a few notable exceptions: Gabapentin (unless prescribed by a LiveHealthโs psychiatrist), muscle relaxers, lifestyle drugs (think Viagra), weight-loss drugs or medicine including ephedrine or pseudoephedrine (such as Sudafed).
Like its competitors, LiveHealth offers the ability to see a doctor through its app or online through a video visit. As far as medical visits go, LiveHealthโs online doctors are able to treat a variety of urgent-care conditions, such as the flu, headaches, or allergies. They do also have allergy specialists as well, who can treat a wide range of allergy-based symptoms.
LiveHealth is HIPAA compliant, and the platform is fully encrypted to protect your privacy. The LiveHealth app is available on both Android and Apple devices.
LiveHealth reviews from BBB and Trustpilot
LiveHealth has a BBB profile with a D- rating. Its parent company, Health Management Corporation, doesn't have a profile on the BBB website. LiveHealth has a score of 1.5 out of 5 stars on Trustpilot, based on more than 470 reviews. Most negative reviews reference prescriptions not being sent to the pharmacy, as well as wrong prescriptions being prescribed. Yikes.
How much does an online doctor visit with LiveHealth cost?
LiveHealth urgent care visits cost $55 or less, based on your insurance coverage. Furthermore, LiveHealth also offers therapy visits starting at just $85, or $185 for a visit with a psychiatrist, which is much less expensive than some of LiveHealthโs competitors. However, there can be a bit of a wait period for these services, ranging from a few days for a psychologist to up to two weeks for a psychiatrist.
LiveHealth is covered by Amerigroup, Anthem Blue Cross and Blue Shield, Anthem Blue Cross, Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Georgia, Empire Blue Cross and Empire Blue Cross Blue and Shield, Simply Healthcare, UniCare, and others.
MDLIVE, an online health provider that works directly with patients, health insurance and health systems to cover a variety of issues, including behavioral health and dermatology, as well as standard medical treatment.
MDLIVE online doctors diagnose and treat a wide variety of issues, and prescribe non-narcotic medicine. In some cases, an online doctor with MDLIVE may offer emergency refill prescriptions for 2-3 days if the patient can show they already have a prescription that needs covering.
MDLIVE works much the same way most online providers do: Patients log into the platform to either enter a queue or schedule an appointment. Then, youโll speak with your doctor by phone, secure video chat, or the app to talk with a doctor online in their state. The MDLIVE app can be downloaded for both Apple and Android devices.
An important thing to note about MDLIVE, however, is that the costs are a bit higher than some other providers reviewed here, though they are upfront about their estimated costs for different services.
MDLIVE is HIPAA compliant, and leverages multiple layers of encryption to ensure that your personal and medical information is protected.
MDLIVE reviews from BBB and Trustpilot
MDLIVE is accredited with the Better Business Bureau and has an A+ rating. It has a score of 1.7 out of 5 stars on Trustpilot, based on more than 12,060 reviews. Positive reviews note how quick and easy it was to get an appointment, while negative reviews tend to be from people who would have preferred an in-person visit compared to telemedicine.
How much does MDLIVE cost?
MDLIVE accepts most health insurances, and they have a detailed price breakdown of what the average visits may cost for each of their services on their website. Prices for those paying out-of-pocket:
$82 for a common issue that might otherwise require an urgent care visit
$108 for a counseling session
$284 for a session with a psychiatrist
$95 for a dermatology appointment
All of these costs do depend on your insurance (meaning, they could be less!), and follow-up visits may vary in cost.
MDVIP review
MDVIP is a VIP experience, with concierge medicine and concierge doctors. It allows for increased, personalized medical treatment, via phone, email, or messaging, and gives your doctors additional tools to treat you to the highest possible degree.
MDVIP assigns you one doctor that oversees your care, just as a primary physician would. Together, you and your doctor put together a plan in whatโs called the MDVIP Wellness Program.
The MDVIP Wellness Program claims to offer a broader, concierge range of care than a typical physician check up. This includes:
MDVIP is fully HIPAA compliant. The website is built on an SSL certificate and all medical information stored in the platform is encrypted.
MDVIP reviews from BBB and Trustpilot
MDVIP has an A+ rating with the BBB and a score of 1.68 out of 5 stars based on 61 customer reviews. Most of the negative reviews on the business are related to billing issues. MDVIP has a 2.5 out of 5 stars on Trustpilot.
How much does an online doctor visit with MDVIP cost?
The annual fee can range between $1,800 and $2,200, with quarterly, semi-annual and annual payment plans qualified for FSA and HSA.
PlushCare review
PlushCare was founded in 2013 and services its customers mostly through its app, which is available for both Apple and Android devices and allows for regular text conversation with your online doctors. A huge bonus to PlushCare is that all of its doctors are from the top 50 medical schools in the United States, so you can be sure youโre getting the best possible care.
A PlushCare online doctor can treat a variety of ailments, including:
Urgent care issues
Everyday concerns
Mental health
Ongoing chronic issues
PlushCareโs online doctors can prescribe medication, though they are unable to provide narcotics or schedule drugs. Still, they have the ability to prescribe similar medicine not falling into these categories (for example, the online doctors cannot prescribe Xanax, but cannot prescribe other anti-anxiety medication).
PlushCare is HIPAA compliant, and notes that electronic records are held in a private electronic health records system. Company policies and multiple layers of encryption are in place to protect your privacy.
How much does PlushCare cost?
A main difference between PlushCare and other online doctor platforms is the membership fee structure, as well as insurance coverage.
PlushCare is covered by many big-name health insurance companies, including Cigna, Aetna, Humana, and United Healthcare.
It's also worth exploring dietitian that accepts Medicare โ understanding your Cigna dietitian coverage can open the door to working with a registered dietitian for weight management, chronic condition support or simply building healthier eating habits, often at little to no extra cost.
A PlushCare membership costs $16.99 per month or $99 per year regardless of whether you are insured. Those without insurance will pay $129 for their first visit and for follow-ups. Therapy appointments are $169 per visit. Those who are insured will pay the co-pay negotiated by their insurance company. You can get started with a free 30-day trial.
Plushcare reviews from BBB and Trustpilot
PlushCare is accredited and has an B rating from the BBB with an average score of 2.13 out of 5 stars based on 386 customer reviews. The company has a score of 3.2 out of 5 stars on Trustpilot, based on more than 2,360 customer reviews. Most Trustpilot reviews note how pleasant and convenient the app was to use when they were sick.
SteadyMD review
SteadyMD is an online business-to-business (B2B) concierge healthcare provider that prioritizes you and your time. SteadyMD claims to cut down on time and hassle by offering appointments with brief (SteadyMD claims 15 minutes) or no wait, near-immediate response over the app, and most importantly, consistency, because SteadyMD connects you with a doctor who, in their words, โgets youโ based on their intake quiz. This personal physician is assigned to you throughout your SteadyMD membership. If that doctor is unavailable, another doctor could see you and have the same access to your medical history as your usual doctor.
SteadyMD focuses on the connection and relationship between a patient and their doctor. SteadyMD connects you with a doctor thatโs right for you after collecting medical information, personal needs, and other important aspects of your life. After an introductory hour-long video chat where you and the doctor get to know each other even better, youโre able to text, call or even video chat with your doctor any time, as much as you want.
SteadyMD doctors offer concierge medicine 24/7 round the clock, in all 50 states, for any number of medical issues, such as:
chronic conditions
urgent care needs
womenโs and menโs health issues
preventative care (such as help to quit smoking)
mood disorder screenings
They also are able to prescribe medication, though not opioids, narcotics, and other controlled substances.
SteadyMD offers constant communication with the same physician, versus competitors where you see whichever doctor may have availability when you need them. SteadyMD also makes use of tools you may already be using, such as MyFitnessPal, Nike Run Club, Garmin Connect, or Strava Running and Cycling, to get a fuller understanding of your weight, blood pressure, and vital signs. Furthermore, SteadyMD doctors can oversee medical care with specialists they can refer you to, or after the event of a medical emergency.
SteadyMD is HIPAA compliant. The website is built on an SSL certificate, and the platform itself leverages encryption to protect your information, as is the industry standard.
SteadyMD reviews from BBB and Trustpilot
SteadyMD has a B- rating with the BBB, and two customer reviews. On Trustpilot, SteadyMD has a score of 2.9 out of 5 stars based on two customer reviews. Those reviews claim poor communication as the primary reason for the negative experience.
How much does an online doctor visit with SteadyMD cost?
SteadyMD offers monthly plans for individuals and families by partnering with businesses to provide telehealth services in 50 states. Pricing varies by state and plan. Plans offer perks like unlimited in-app messaging, and same-day phone call or video appointments with your personal physician.
SteadyMD also offers functional medicine, which is a โdeep diveโ into the patientโs medical history from birth to present day, using gut microbiome, hormone, micronutrient, and other testing to study everything from sleep, exercise, diet and stress. This level of understanding can be especially helpful in the case of chronic conditions such as hyperthyroidism, stress management, blood pressure or Hashimotoโs.
SteadyMD does not work with health insurers.
Virtuwell review
Virtuwell is an online health services provider, founded in 2010. While other providers are staffed by board-certified online doctors, Virtuwell is staffed by board-certified nurse practitioners. The main difference between a medical doctor and a nurse practitioner is length of experience: MDs study for around 11 years, while a Masterโs in Science of Nursing takes about 6 years. Nurse Practitioners also have separate licensing and certification requirements. Virtuwellโs nurse practitioners are licensed to:
Diagnose and treat common illnesses
Prescribe medications
Obtain medical histories
Perform assessments
Screen and refer patients to specialists and other healthcare providers
Counsel and teach about health and nutrition
However, it is not stated on the Virtuwell website (or in any reviews) whether they are HIPAA compliant or not.
Virtuwell reviews from BBB and Trustpilot
Virtuwell does not currently have a profile with either the BBB or Trustpilot, making it difficult to compile reviews about the company and its services.
How much does Virtuwell cost?
Virtuwell is able to charge through a long list of insurance providers (which you can find on their FAQ page), or you can pay by credit card. The base cost is as low as $79 per visit, making it the least expensive option available compared with its competitors. However, it is worth noting that Virtuwellโs online nurse practitioners are not able to cover mental health concerns, such as depression or anxiety, nor are they staffed by psychologists or psychiatrists.
Another important note here is that Virtuwell only offers its services in 13 states currently, so you should double-check their FAQ to see if your state is covered.
Can you see a doctor online?
Absolutely! You can see medical doctors, therapists, psychiatrists and specialists online easily, through one of many different providers. Most are able to go through health insurance as well.
How do online doctor visits work?
While there is some variance based on the platform and the type of service you're seeking, all online doctor visits function more or less the same way. You make an account online or through the service's app, you enter your medical history (or go through an intake quiz), and then you either meet with a doctor or set up an appointment for a later date. Most platforms allow for phone calls, in-app messaging, or video-chats.
How much is an online doctor visit?
Without insurance, basic medical coverage usually runs at around $100 or below, while therapy or a visit with a psychiatrist can be anywhere from $150 – $300.
Are online doctors any good?
Yes! While of course there's no way to guarantee that every single doctor will be a perfect fit for every single person, online doctors are not in any way ‘less-than' traditional doctors.
What is the best online doctor app?
Given the variety of services offered, and that everyone has different priorities when it comes to healthcare, there really is no ‘best,' though there is likely a ‘best for you.' It depends on what you're looking for, whether it be quick and as-needed, or in-depth on-going care.
Whatโs better than shopping sustainably while saving yourself some money? These thrift and consignment stores are full of hidden treasures at affordable prices.
I love the thrill of discovering the perfect gift for a friend or finally hunting down an item Iโve been searching for. That said, keeping a few golden rules of thrifting in mind will make the process easier. As someone whoโs committed to shopping sustainably, Iโve spent more than 10 years searching local thrift shops, consignment stores, and online to discover the best deals possible, and have learned through thousands of hours of hard shopping, deal-finding and self-education:
Prepare to spend some time on the thrift hunt if youโre looking for a specific item to find the best price. Online, prices skewer drastically depending on the seller, site, demand, and item for sale; and you never know what youโll stumble upon in person.
For example, Vox reports that the price of the exact same item on online resale sites varies widely depending on the seller and the site. A pair of black Adidas sneakers, for example, can be found for anywhere between $20 to $65, even when the condition, size, and style are nearly identical.
When I was searching for a Panic at the Disco t-shirt, searching multiple online shops not only helped me find it faster, but also cheaper, as I could compare prices from multiple sellers. Though several sellers had it listed between $22 to $30, I found it available for $15. SCORE!
Double check the best time to buy
One thing Iโve learned from secondhand shopping: you can sometimes land a deep discount by buying a thrifted item during a sale or with a special offer.
Many online thrift stores will offer discounts on your first purchase. ThredUp sometimes offers 50% off plus free shipping while Goodwill occasionally has free shipping. But donโt hesitate on a purchase for too long, as availability can change quickly.
Read up on the return policy
Before you officially purchase your goods, make sure you know what the return policy is. On Poshmark, you can only return items if it never arrives or doesnโt match the online description โ but you canโt return items in the wrong size. Goodwill, on the other hand, accepts returns within 30 days of purchase with a receipt but only in exchange for store credit.
So before you end up with buyerโs remorse, re-read the return policy. Sometimes Iโve avoided the hassle of returning items by reselling or donating them back to second-hand shops.
Search “thrift stores near me” or “second hand stores near me”
You likely have locally owned and operated thrift stores in your community. Ask around, do a Google search and even cruise the cute parts of your city for a good thrift store.
Goodwill is an absolute treasure trove: you can discover entertainment like books, games, and movies, home decor, accessories, old clothing in any size and color โ even wedding dresses. If you canโt make it to one of the 3,300 Goodwill stores across North America, you can shop its online auction site that ranges from upscale jewelry and clothing to items with one cent shipping.
You can also shop for books, movies, video games, and CDs through a network of Goodwills across the nation. The Goodwill Books site is a personal favorite of mine โ if you sign up for the brandโs newsletter, youโll occasionally receive free shipping discounts.
On TrustPilot, some reviewers complain that in-store prices have risen while online prices are more fair.
The main perk of purchasing from shops like Buffalo Exchange and Platoโs Closet is that they only sell high-quality items that are still in style, so you wonโt waste time browsing through sales racks of unfashionable junk.
Buffalo Exchange is a fashion resale brand that sells gently used menโs, womenโs, and childrenโs clothing and accessories in 17 states throughout the United States. Buffalo Exchange occasionally runs $1 clothing sales and donates to nonprofit charities with a โTokens for Bagsโ program.
Similar to Buffalo Exchange, Platoโs Closet is a national consignment franchise that accepts name-brand clothing, handbags, and accessories. Itโs a popular destination for young men and women, as it keeps a curated inventory of trendy items from brands like Adidas, Nike, Urban Outfitters, and American Eagle.
Buying items from the Salvation Armyโs thrift stores support its Adult Rehabilitation Centers. Much like Goodwill, the Salvation Army sells a large variety of items ranging from womenโs, menโs, and childrenโs clothing, furniture, household goods, and appliances.
Online thrift stores are very similar to their in-person counterparts, but with one important caveat: you generally have to pay for shipping in addition to any purchase. You can typically pay with credit card or PayPal.
Etsy
Etsy is home to every homemade good you can imagine, from face masks and art to handcrafted jewelry. But itโs also home to a thriving refurbished and thrift community, with sellers like Honeycutt Vintage selling thrifted books, knick knacks, vintage clothing and even refurbished furniture.
Etsy, unlike Poshmark and Mercari, is accredited by the BBB. Negative reviews on TrustPilot tend to focus on customer service complaints and substandard items while positive reviews note high-quality products.
Poshmark is a mishmash of all kinds of home goods, clothing, accessories, shoes, toys, art, and assorted knick knacks from brands big and small. You can search the site for specific items, or browse brands like Barnes & Noble, Victoriaโs Secret, and more. Poshmark is not accredited by the BBB, but it has an average B rating with a total of 1,728 complaints in the past three years.
In my personal experience, the best way to get a good deal on Poshmark is by โlikingโ or โbundlingโ items. Liking a post will prompt sellers to reach out with a discounted price on the product and/or shipping. Before you purchase something, see if the seller will give you a discount! Likewise, bundle items from the same seller together and make an offer to get a discounted rate.
Also, donโt be afraid to leave a comment! When I asked a seller to create a discounted bundle of five romance books for me, she included free shipping and mailed my book bundle the next day.
Like Poshmark and Mercari, ThredUp is an online consignment shop. Unlike them, ThredUp only accepts womenโs and childrenโs clothing and accessories. In addition to searching the site for what you want, you can purchase a Goody Box full of 10 carefully selected items based on your budget, size, and style. ThredUp also offers curated Rescue Boxes with items that need TLC or have been in inventory for some time at a lower price.
ThredUp has an A rating with the BBB; however, reviewers on TrustPilot complain of bad customer service, odorous clothing, and problems returning clothing.
Mercari is an online consignment shop that accepts anything that can be shipped, which means that you can discover a plethora of goods there. Mercari has a fun twist compared to other online consignment shops: itโs a bidding site, much like eBay, where you make offers against competitors. Select cities benefit from a Mercari Local service that boasts free delivery powered by Uber โ something not offered by Etsy, Poshmark, or ThreadUp.
Mercari is not accredited by the BBB but holds an A+ rating. Mercari actually ranks the highest on TrustPilot out of all four online thrift stores reviewed here, ranking 3.8 out of five stars. Many buyers commented that the site is better than competitors, though buyers had mixed reviews regarding customer service.
At the end of the day, youโre not going to go wrong shopping at a thrift store: theyโre great for your budget and the environment.
Goodwill tends to be the lowest-price out of all these options, and searching its online sites is straightforward with its filter options. Watch Goodwillโs online auctions for cheaper deals, though you never know what will be available.
Out of all the online thrift stores available, Mercari tends to have the widest breadth of goods available, making it easier to find what youโre looking for. Plus, price drops and offers make purchases more affordable.
Your busy life demands support. This is where a good nanny comes in: a reliable, caring child care provider who you can count on to also manage your home (though you may need a housekeeper or house manager).
Emmaโs quick take on how to find a nanny
The best nanny for your family is one who is loving, responsible and with whom you have a good, working, professional relationship. Clear communication of what he or she is expected to do, as well as competitive compensation and a respectful working relationship can mean an incredible asset to your family โ one that can result in quality care for your kids, and peace of mind for you while you work and have a personal life.
But where can you find a good nanny? This post shares nine ways to find a nanny:
Finding the right nanny for your family can change your life โ and the right nanny can make it better! Here are some places to find a nanny near you:
1. Ask people you know.
Start with your network. Word of mouth is a powerful tool among those you trust. You can ask family members, co-workers, friends โ anyone whose judgment you can count on. Plus, even if they donโt have immediate recommendations, your needs will be on their radar.
2. Craigslist.org.
With classified sites like Craigslist, youโll find area-specific ads for nannies. You can also post an advertisement to find a nanny. While combing through the ads can be time-consuming, you might find a diamond if you are patient.
Just be careful not to provide your personal data, as some users are not reputable. Create a separate email account, Google Voice number or an account like Text Free or WhatsApp to communicate.
3. Contact local colleges.
Colleges and universities are great places to find students looking to provide babysitting or nanny services. Inquire about physical job boards at school as well as access to virtual job boards.
Doulas often provide care for mothers throughout the birthing process and after. Some, referred to as โnight nannies,โ offer postpartum help for new mothers and the family, especially at night. If not, they often belong to a network of caregivers and are a great resource for leads on nannies.
You can find a nanny by creating a free basic account at Care.com, an B-rated BBB site that connects screened caregivers to those who need them most. Peruse the options for child care and get a curated list of background-checked nannies in your community. Also, you can post a nanny job.
If you want to communicate with nannies, see full profiles or purchase an enhanced background check via Care.com, you will need a premium membership. This resource is valuable because you can see what nannies share about their background and experience as well as read nanny reviews from moms just like you. Check out our Care.com review and get 20% off premium memberships with code JOINCARE20.
You can also always run your own background check. TruthFinder is our No. 1 recommendation because of its A+ BBB rating.
Care.com is also a place where you can find elder care, housekeeping, pet sitters / dog walkers and other household help.
The basic Care.com membership is free. The free (basic) membership allows you to:
Search for available nannies in your area
View nanny profiles and reviews
View any certifications (like CPR or First Aid training)
Post a nanny job
Receive applications
Access site tools like hiring guides and rate calculators
While itโs a good way to get a feel for available nannies and interest in your nanny job, you canโt message respondents or view submitted applications to your nanny job posting. Getting a premium membership gives you full access.
If you are on Facebook, you can join groups to help you find the right nanny for your family. In the Facebook Groups search tool, use terms that include the word nanny and your geographic area. For example, โHouston nanniesโ or โCook County nannies.โ The results will show groups with that subject matter. Join the group so that you can connect and get information on where to find nannies.
7. Use an app.
Try a neighborhood app to find a nanny. Itโs a convenient way to look, especially since we spend so much time on our smartphones these days.
Here are a few to consider:
Nextdoor: You can sign up for free and search for nannies in your neighborhood by posting a message or searching posts. There you can find nannies looking for work and reach out to them via comments or through Nextdoor messaging.
UrbanSitter: Get started with a free account and look for screened nannies. This iOS/iPadOS 13.0-compatible app allows you to find, interview, hire and pay your nanny. Responses often come from nannies and babysitters in minutes.
There are more options out there, but these are a great starting point because you can sign up for free to get started and add on services later.
Check out your local resources for help in finding a nanny. Community centers, parent-teacher associations, homeowner associations, civic groups, schools, fraternities/sororities, lodges and even local businesses can be helpful in your search.
9. Go through reputable nanny agency.
You can always go straight to the source of registered nannies in your area by contacting an agency. However, using these services can cost from 15-20% of the nannyโs annual income, plus a setup fee. Some require a flat fee upfront.
In trade, you save time by letting the agency do the work of matching you with the best person for the job based on your input. To find a reputable nanny agency, start with organizations like International Nanny Association (INA) or Association of Premier Nanny Agencies (APNA).
Hiring a nanny? 5 frequently asked questions
When you are ready to hire a nanny, you may have lots of questions. Weโve addressed the three top questions below.
1. What is the best site to find a nanny?
We think Care.com is the best site to find a nanny. First, itโs free to sign up for a basic account. And you can do quite a bit with a basic account. Next, you can rest assured that all listed nannies have gone through CareCheck, the siteโs background check process. Then, for an upgraded membership fee, you can communicate with the nannies that catch your eye.
Finally, you can pay the nanny through the Care.com's sister site, HomePay.
2. How much do you pay a nanny?
While it will depend on your geographic area, the average nationwide rate is $15 per hour โ with rates higher in large cities and affluent communities.
You can expect to pay more when you need help for multiple children, require the nanny to travel, the nanny holds certifications or has extensive experience and credentials.
3. What is a fair price for a nanny?
Thankfully, using the Care.com calculator gives you an estimate based on where you live. Your final agreed-upon rate will take into account all of the tasks you require the nanny to perform. A fair price is one that you can afford and that compensates the nanny in a salary range that is in sync with the cost of living for your state.
As a reference point, take a look at these average pay rates in select cities:
Austin, TX: $17.50/hour
New York, NY: $18.75/hour
Naples, FL: $14.50/hour
Phoenix, AZ: $16.00/hour
Savannah, GA: $12.25/hour
Trenton, NJ: $14.50/hour
The above rates assume care for one child, full-time. Youโll have to adjust that based on your needs. Try the calculator now to find the average pay rate in your city.
4. How do I find a good nanny?
You may not find the right nanny on the first try. Here are some steps to improve your chances of connecting with your Mary Poppins:
Get clear about what you are looking for: full- or part-time? Some travel with your family? Housekeeping? Overnights? The more clarity you have now, the better you can hone your search, and communicate with quality candidates about your needs and expectations.
Be willing to pay market price, or above, as well as good benefits like health insurance and paid time off. Treat your nanny with respect. Nannies are in-demand professionals who demand good compensation, benefits and work environment โ and you get what you pay for.
Check references and ask a lot of questions from any recommendations.
Do a background check.
5. Can I do a trial run with a nanny?
Of course the only way you can truly know if your nanny is a fit for your family is to see him or her in action. Ask prospective hires to babysit a few times (for pay, of course).
Bottom line: Best way to โfind a nanny near meโ
When looking for a nanny, start with your network before moving on to agencies, apps or websites. And when you are ready to use those tools, ensure they are reputable and use background checks. Take time to prepare interview questions thoughtfully and have a budget for performing your own background check if necessary.
What is the best site to find a nanny?
We think Care.com is the best site to find a nanny. First, itโs free to sign up for a basic account. And you can do quite a bit with a basic account. Next, you can rest assured that all listed nannies have gone through CareCheck, the siteโs background check process.
How much do you pay a nanny?
While it will depend on your geographic area, the average nationwide rate is $15 per hour. You can expect to pay more when you need help for multiple children, the nanny holds certifications, or has extensive experience and credentials.
What is a fair price for a nanny?
Thankfully, using the Care.com calculator gives you an estimate based on where you live. Your final agreed-upon rate will take into account all of the tasks you require the nanny to perform. A fair price is one that you can afford and that compensates the nanny in a salary range that is in sync with the cost of living for your state.
How do I find a good nanny?
You may not find the right nanny on the first try. Here are some steps to improve your chances of connecting with your Mary Poppins: get clear about what you are looking for; be willing to pay market price, or above; check references; and do a background check.
Can I do a trial run with a nanny?
Of course the only way you can truly know if your nanny is a fit for your family is to see him or her in action. Ask prospective hires to babysit a few times (for pay, of course).
Nannies take care of young kids and babies in their clientโs homes โ sometimes as a live-in nanny, or during set hours.
To find nanny jobs, start by asking around among people you know. Also, check online websites like Care.com to look for nanny jobs in your area.
Here's what you need to know before becoming a nanny:
A nanny is a person hired to care for children, usually young children who are not yet school-aged.
Traditionally, the term nanny has applied to women. A more gender-neutral term that has gained popularity in recent years is โchild care providerโโliterally, someone who provides care for children. The term “manny” is tossed around for male caregivers in this role.
Nannies work out of the homes of their clients and often also perform other roles for the family, such as housekeeping, errand running, meal prep and food shopping.
Nannies can work full-time or part-time hours for their clients, and some live in the homes of the family.
Parents might hire a nanny for full-time hours between the hours of 8 a.m. and 5 p.m., when they are at work and need childcare. Because these nannies can only tend to one family at a time, they often charge higher rates than those who watch the children of multiple families at once. Alternatively, a family might only need a nanny on certain days of the week. In either case, their schedules tend to be consistent and regular.
Babysitting and nannying are not the same thing. Babysitters are usually hired out on an as-need basis and for an hourly rate. Babysitters may watch children in their home or their clientโs homes, and they may work any hours but especially during the evening. Nannies are paid as W2 workers for a set number of hours weekly or monthly.
What kind of tasks do nannies do?
Most nannies will perform a mix of the following tasks:
Supervise children and monitoring them for safety
Prepare meals and snacks
Change diapers
Administer medication to children
Organize games and activities
Help children with hygiene, such as brushing their teeth or bathing
Plan and initiate naps and nap times
Help children learn through reading or educational games
Teach children good manners
Drive children to appointments or activities
Care for sick children in some cases
Sometimes travel with the family
Housekeeping
Errands
Nannies who care for infants will need to be much more hands on in their care than nannies who care for older children. They will typically be responsible for feeding, bathing, and changing diapers, amongst other tasks such as entertaining the child. Nannies of older children typically act more in a supervisory role, and it is not uncommon for nannies of middle- and high-school aged kids to spend a lot of time running the children to activities and appointments.
Nannies who work in their clientsโ homes may perform other tasks for the family, such as housekeeping and laundry. They may also be asked to come along on family vacation and run errands such as picking up dry cleaning and grocery shopping.
What qualifications do you need to be a nanny? Is there a nanny certification?
There is no legal qualifications for becoming a nanny, though many employers request or require you have at least CPR and first-aid training, which you can get through your local Red Cross.
Itโs also possible to earn optional certifications which, while not required, will help you bolster your resume and stand out from the competition. The National Association for Family Child Care (NAFCC), for example, offers a popular credential. Likewise, the US Nanny Association offers three certifications you may want to consider:
Nanny and Childcare Provider (NCP) Certification
Newborn and Infant Care Professional (NICP) Certification
Professional Nanny and Childcare Provider Credential (PNCP) Certification
While not required, completing an associateโs degree or bachelorโs degree in early childhood education can also help you stand out from the pack, and might even empower you to command a higher salary. If you donโt want to earn a degree, completing courses such as water-safety classes, infant care classes, or special needs courses can likewise improve your hireability.
Because you will be working with children in client homes, itโs very common to need to submit to a background check to ensure you havenโt been convicted of any felonies. Some clients or employers might even run a credit check. In either case, itโs a good idea to know whatโs on both of those reports so you can either take steps to correct mistakes or else just be prepared to speak to any questions your potential clients or employers might have.
What skills do you need to be a nanny or childcare provider?
In addition to any licensing or credential requirements, there are some personality traits that help with being a nanny. It is extremely helpful to have great communication skills since youโll be dealing with both parents and children, for example. It also helps to have a lot of patience and the physical stamina to care for children all day long.
Finally, you need to be able to follow the instructions of either your employer or parents that pay you for childcare. And since youโll be making many decisions throughout the course of a day, it also helps to have excellent analytical and decision-making skills.
How much youโll earn as a nanny depends on where you live, your experience and what you negotiate with the family you will work for.
Your pay can also depend on how many kids you watch and the ages of the children. Providers caring for an infant can charge more than those watching a toddler or school-age child, for example.
Still, there are some average pay rates to be aware of. According to the 2021 Cost of Care survey conducted by Care.com, nationally the average nanny charges approximately:
$15.30 per hour for one child, or about $612 per week
$16.35 per hour for two children, or about $654 per week
Since these are national averages, however, nanny rates vary by where you live.
A report by PayScale.com determined that the average nanny earns approximately $15.30 per hour, or about $32,800 per year. Nannies with higher levels of education or greater experience can command up to $20 per hour or more. Nannies rarely have many professional expenses.
By comparison, in-home providers also pay for their own licensing costs and may have expenses for rent, payroll, food, toys, and supplies.
Pros and cons of being a nanny
Like any other job, a career in childcare can have pros and cons that vary depending on the type of position you end up in.
Before you consider a future caring for children, consider these advantages and disadvantages:
Advantages of working as a nanny:
You get to work with children and provide them with important care
You do not need a lot of education to get started
You can earn more with more experience, college education, and credentials
You may be able to work flexible hours
Child care is in demand, which may make it easier to find a job
You may be able to bring your own children with you on the job
You may be asked to travel with the family. While you will be working on this trip, you may enjoy seeing a new location
Disadvantages of working as a nanny:
Caring for children can be stressful and demanding
Pay in this field isnโt as high as some other fields
You will have to negotiate your pay and the terms of your work on your own in most cases
Work can be unpredictable as you are the mercy of your employerโs needs and whims
How to become a nanny FAQs
Here are some frequently asked questions about working as nanny:
How to become a professional nanny?
Employers will want to see relevant work experience, any additional education or credentials pertaining to childcare, CPR training, a clean background check and professional appearance, punctuality, and overall great attitude.
And of course, experience and passion for working with children is extremely helpful!
How to become a nanny with no experience?
Start your nanny career by getting paid babysitting jobs, working in a daycare center, and networking with families who hire nannies โ as well as with current nannies.
You can also find work through child care agencies.
How do I gain experience to be a nanny?
If you don't have paid experience, you can promote the fact that you have mothered your own children, as well as cared for loved ones. You can also seek out volunteer opportunities at after-school and day care centers.
How to become a nanny for the rich?
If you have experience, good references, a clean background check and typically some higher education, you can apply to be a nanny through a nanny agency that specializes in placing childcare providers with families who need them.
Most cities and towns have local agencies, and you can also find work through Care.com. Many of these high-paying nanny jobs are through word-of-mouth โ either referred by other nannies or past employers. Leaving past jobs on good terms is critical!
Many times the job description of a nanny requires some housekeeping, as well as child care. Explicitly outline in writing with your employer what is expected of you during your employment.
How do you find nanny jobs?
If youโre looking for work as a nanny, ask around with people you know โ and specifically people who have children. There are many nanny agencies that hire nannies, or match nannies with families.
The internet is also a treasure trove if youโre looking for childcare work. Some websites where you can find nanny jobs include:
Care.com is an excellent resource since it lets you set up a profile and find families seeking nannies and other childcare arrangements in your area. With Care.com, you can browse family profiles to find a good fit for your needs then contact them when youโre ready.
A nanny is a person hired to care for children, usually young children who are not yet school-aged.
What kind of tasks do nannies do?
Supervise children and monitoring them for safety, prepare meals, and much more. Nannies who work in their clientsโ homes may perform other tasks for the family, such as housekeeping and laundry.
What qualifications do you need to be a nanny?
The requirements to become a nanny really depend on the type of nanny position and where you work.ย
How much does a nanny make in a year?
Your salary can also depend on how many kids you watch and the ages of the children. Providers caring for an infant can charge a lot more than those watching a toddler or school-age child, for example.
How to become a professional nanny?
Employers will want to see relevant work experience, any additional education or credentials pertaining to childcare, CPR training, a clean background check and professional appearance, punctuality, and overall great attitude.
How to become a nanny with no experience?
Start your nanny career by getting paid babysitting jobs, working in a daycare center, and networking with families who hire nannies โ as well as with current nannies.
How do I gain experience to be a nanny?
If you don't have paid experience, you can promote the fact that you have mothered your own children, as well as cared for loved ones. You can also seek out volunteer opportunities at after-school and day care centers.
How to become a nanny for the rich?
If you have experience, good references, a clean background check and typically some higher education, you can apply to be a nanny through a nanny agency that specializes in placing childcare providers with families who need them.
