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Have you realized the drugstore reading glasses aren't cutting it anymore? 

Has your child come home with a note from the teacher saying they're having trouble seeing the board? 

Facing an unexpected appointment with an eye doctor and expensive prescription glasses can be both shocking and expensive.

The connections among poverty, eye care, and wellbeing are stark. 

Experts estimate that about 25% of kids in America need glasses or contacts. Glasses can dramatically improve how kids do in school, according to research from Johns Hopkins University, and numerous programs aim to help families get vision screenings and free glasses for kids under 18. 

Until recently, there were few options for eyeglasses for less than $400. Thankfully, new innovations, businesses, and public health initiatives offer very stylish and affordable eyeglasses โ€” as well as some that are free.  

My personal experience: Recently got a new pair of eyeglasses at a very nice local boutique. Price, all-in with high-end progressive lenses:

$1,021:

Zeelool eyeglasses are an affordable and stylish option..

I also got a second pair with the same prescription from my eye doctor for this pair from Zeelool, all-in, including the highest-end lenses and shipping:

$110.95:

Zeelool eyeglasses are stylish and very affordable.

The right combination of resources for free or inexpensive prescription glasses and exams can help you get your vision back on track without breaking the bank.

How do you get glasses when you have no money?

Charitable programs provide free eyeglasses to people who meet the income requirements and donโ€™t have vision coverage through an insurance plan. You can also find retailers that offer special deals on free glasses for new customers, sometimes even including eye exams. 

This post explains the ways to get affordable or free life-changing eyeglasses, which includes where you can go to get free eyeglasses

Where can you get free prescription glasses? 

Many organizations, such as VSP Eyes of Hope and Sight for Students, offer low- or no-cost eye exams and eyeglasses for households who meet the income guidelines for eligibility. Medicaid covers vision care for children. Even if you donโ€™t qualify for those programs, plenty of online retailers offer great deals on affordable eyewear, buy-one-get-one-free eyeglasses discounts, โ€œfirst pair freeโ€ prescription glasses promotions, and more.

Many online discounts are open to all, but most of the nonprofit assistance programs require you to meet income eligibility tied to the federal poverty level. Here's the 2025 poverty-level income guidelines in the United States, based on the number of people in a household: 

Number of people in family/householdAnnual income
1$15,960
2$21,640
3$27,320
4$33,000
5$38,680
6$44,360
7$50,040
8$55,720

For families/households with more than 8 people, add $5,680 for each additional person.each additional person.

You can also look up your area median income (AMI) here.

Want to buy a home in 2026? See what mortgage you qualify for.

For families/households with more than eight people, add $4,720.00 for each additional person.

Free eyeglasses from New Eyes

New Eyes is a nonprofit organization that provides single-vision or lined bifocals to people whose monthly income is less than 250% of US Poverty Guidelines. You can apply independently or have a health care worker or social worker assist you.

Who is eligible for free prescription glasses from New Eyes? 

New Eyes serves people in the United States who need glasses but canโ€™t afford them. New Eyes does not offer vision screenings, so youโ€™ll need to arrange that on your own โ€” and other resources can help with that cost. New Eyes requires you to present a glasses prescription written in the past 12 months that includes your pupillary distance measurement. New Eyes provides links to free and low-cost eye exam providers on its website. 

Are there income guidelines for free eyeglasses from New Eyes?

Yes. Anyone living in a household with a net monthly income less than 250% of US Poverty Guidelines is eligible for vouchers.

Free eyeglasses from VSP Eyes of Hope 

VSP Eyes of Hope is a program from the vision insurance provider Vision Service Plan that issues vouchers that cover the cost of eye care and glasses to adults and children. 

Who is eligible for free prescription glasses from VSP?

Anyone of any age can apply for glasses from VSP Eyes of Hope. You can get a gift certificate for glasses if you have vision care or work with one of the programโ€™s partner organizations to get an eye exam. VSP in-network eye care providers, such as VisionWorks and MyEyeDr, accept these gift certificates. 

Are there income guidelines for free glasses from VSP? 

VSP requires a household income of below 200% of the federal poverty level for you to qualify.

Free eyeglasses for kids from InfantSEE

InfantSEE is an initiative from the American Optometric Association to provide eye exams to babies. The program website has a searchable listing for participating doctors. You can look for doctors in your area by entering your ZIP code. 

Who is eligible for free prescription glasses from InfantSEE?

The American Optometric Association recommends that babies have their first eye exam between 6 and 12 months. These exams can identify vision issues before they become serious problems. This program provides exams for families who cannot afford them otherwise. If your baby needs more treatment, the program will help you get it. 

Are there income guidelines for free glasses from InfantSEE?

There are no income guidelines. Use InfantSEEโ€™s Find a Doctor tool to contact local providers for more information.

Free eyeglasses for kids from Vision to Learn

The Vision to Learn program works with school systems to provide vision exams and glasses to K-12 students. The clinics are open to students in participating schools. Vision to Learn has programs in California, Connecticut, Delaware, Georgia, Hawaii, Iowa, Louisiana, Maryland, Michigan, Mississippi, New Jersey, North Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Virginia, and Washington, DC. 

Who is eligible for free prescription glasses from Vision to Learn?

Students in participating districts are eligible for glasses through this program. Vision to Learn brings mobile vision clinics to schools, and the staff gives eye exams. Any kids who need glasses receive their prescription and pick them out from the opticians. 

Are there income guidelines for free eyeglasses from Vision to Learn?

Vision to Learn does not provide stated income guidelines, but instead works with the school districts to determine which are eligible for free vision programs for students based on district-wide criteria. 

Free eyeglasses for kids from VSP Sight for Studentsยฎ

VSP Sight for Students is another program from the insurer Vision Service Provider.  This program provides eye exams and glasses to children ages 19 and under by partnering with community organizations and schools to distribute vouchers for eye exams and glasses. 

Who is eligible for free prescription glasses from VSP?

Children under 19 who donโ€™t have vision coverage can benefit from this program. School nurses can apply in advance for gift certificates for free glasses to distribute to students in need. Community partners like Prevent Blindness also distribute gift certificates. Contact VSP Sight for Students directly if you need more information about receiving free glasses for a student at partners.vspeyesofhope.com.

Are there income guidelines for free glasses from VSP?

Yes, VSP states qualifying income guidelines. Your household income has to be below 200% of the federal poverty level for your student to qualify.

Where can you get free prescription glasses online?

Even if you're not eligible for government or charitable vision care programs, you can still find affordable glasses. Some retailers offer deep discounts, so itโ€™s worth checking out your options for free prescription glasses online, too โ€” including free prescription lenses for new customers. 

ABBE Glasses

ABBE is an online provider that sells a wide variety of glasses. ABBE offers a limited selection of frames for free when you use the code FREEABBE. Most clear, single-vision lenses are also free. It also has a buy-one-get-one-free offer. Youโ€™ll need to provide a valid prescription from an eye doctor when you order. 

Finest Glasses

Finest Glasses is another retailer that offers a limited selection of frames for adults and kids for free with other options for cheap eyeglasses frames. Youโ€™ll need to get an eye exam from your eye doctor before you order, and frames and most single vision lenses are free.

The Glasses Shop

The Glasses Shop offers a specific selection of frames for adults and kids, and you can get your first pair of prescription glasses free with the code FIRST FREE. Single vision lenses with anti-scratch coating are included. Youโ€™ll need to provide a prescription from an eye doctor to order. 

Kits

Kits offers more than 200 styles of the house brand frames free to first-time purchasers. Most single-vision prescription lenses are included. Use the code FREEKITS. You will need to get a prescription from your own eye doctor. 

What if the free prescription eyeglasses programs require an eye exam? 

If you need help getting an eye exam, some programs cover that, too. Here is a list of organizations and programs that offer a free eye exam. 

EyeCare America for free eye exams

Eye Care America is a program run by the American Academy of Ophthalmology. They offer eye exams through a network of participating doctors. To qualify for this program, you need to be uninsured and over 65 years old. If you are at increased risk of glaucoma, you can get a free glaucoma screening. This program doesnโ€™t include eyeglasses.

Lions Club International for free eye exams

The Lions Club International, a large charitable organization, has partnered with Johnson & Johnson to offer the Sight for Kids program. This project aims to train school staff to perform basic vision screenings and refer kids for follow-up care if they need it. Kids can get free glasses through the program as well. Check with your childโ€™s school to see if they offer this program.

New Eyes for free eye exams

New Eyes allows you to renew your glasses prescription online if you live in certain states. This renewal is not a complete eye exam, but it will enable you to order new glasses if your previous prescription is more than 24 months old. 

Do a search for โ€œfree eye exam near meโ€

google-maps-usa-image

State and local government resources for free eye exams

Some states or localities have vision clinics for residents. If youโ€™re looking for a free eye exam near you, check with your state or county health and human services department to find information about vision care in your area.

Many school systems can provide extra information on how to help kids get vision screenings and affordable glasses. Ask your childโ€™s school nurse or school counselor for more details. 

Optometry schools

Some schools of optometry at university medical schools offer free or low-cost exams. Students perform the exams while their instructors supervise. If you live near a medical school with an optometry program, you can call and ask about becoming a patient and their fees. You can find an optometry school in your town here, or search โ€œoptometry schools near me:โ€

Local stores and vision centers

Some retailers like Walmart or Target, grocery stores, and pharmacies might have onsite vision centers that can perform low-cost eye exams. These options arenโ€™t free, but they can be a great option for cheap eye exams and glasses.

The average Walmart eye exam cost ranges from $50 to $100 without insurance. Exams at Target Optical and Walgreens range from $60 to $100. Members-only stores like Samโ€™s Club and Costco typically offer special pricing for vision screenings, as well. Sometimes, if you buy glasses, youโ€™ll get a discount on the exam, the glasses, or both. 

What if you donโ€™t meet the requirements for free eyeglasses?

Even if you donโ€™t meet eligibility guidelines for free glasses, you can find reasonably priced options at some of the new online retailers that have created a new competitive eyeglass marketplace:

39DollarGlasses.com

With hundreds of frame styles for kids and adults, 39 Dollar Glasses offers exactly what the name suggests. Frame and single-vision lenses start at $39. If you want specialty lenses or need bifocals, the lenses cost $80. You can pick up to five pairs to try out at home to how you like the frames before you commit. Theyโ€™ll mail you the frame and you have five days to decide, then you send them back using a prepaid mailing label. 

DiscountGlasses.com

Discount Glasses offers a large variety of frames for kids and adults, starting at about $39. The base price includes single vision lenses, and costs increase for bifocals or specialty lenses. Get $15 off orders of $50 or more using code โ€œDEG15AFโ€ at checkout. 

Firmoo.com

Firmoo is a China-based company that sells prescription eyeglasses, non-prescription eyeglasses and sunglass worldwide. As of July 28, 2022, the company had 3,541 ratings on Trustpilot, averaging 4.6/5 stars. Frames start at $25.99, and there is typically a buy-one, get-one free offer. 

Experts estimate that about 25% of kids in America need glasses or contacts. Glasses can dramatically improve how kids do in school, according to research from Johns Hopkins University, and numerous programs aim to help families get vision screenings and free glasses for kids under 18.

OPTIUSA

OPTIUSA offers custom-fit, affordable eyewear more accessible to families across the country. With hundreds of cute styles that start at $25, this is a great online option for every budget.

Zeelool

Zeelool has hundreds of stylish frames for kids and adults, including some sale frames under $10 per pair. Single vision lenses are only $5 more, with progressive and specialty lenses costing more, starting at $40 for progressive lenses. 

I bought a pair of very cute prescription progressives from Zeelool recently and was amazed by the large offering of very, very cute frames โ€” with prices ranging from $3 to about $30 โ€” with frequent BOGO deals. It was really remarkable.

Expect to pay more for lenses, though shipping on orders greater than $69 is free.

These cute green and gold wire glasses cost as such:

Frame: $29.95

Progressive lenses with advanced treatment: $35

Blue light blocking: $50

________________________

$110.95

I will say that the quality of the lenses of my Zeelool glasses is inferior to the $1,000 pair I bought at a local boutique โ€” but for the price it is still a great value. I especially recommended inexpensive online eyeglasses for kids like mine who refuse to wear them.

Zenni

Zenni has hundreds of frame choices for adults and kids, with some as low as $6.95. The price of the frame includes basic single vision lenses, and student discounts may apply for some kidsโ€™ glasses as well.

FAQs about free prescription glasses

If you have health coverage through a government-sponsored plan, you might have vision care benefits you can use for an eye exam or prescription glasses. 

Does Medicaid cover vision?

Children and teens enrolled in Medicaid are eligible for vision screenings and follow-up treatment. Your state Medicaid agency can provide details for your area. Adult vision screening benefits vary by state. Many states cover eye exams, and some cover one pair of glasses per year. 

Does Medicare cover vision?

Medicare does not cover routine eye exams or prescription lenses. Some Medicare Advantage (Medicare Part C) plans offer vision coverage as part of the benefits. Medicare will cover treatment for eye conditions such as glaucoma or complications from diabetes.

Does CHIP insurance cover glasses?

Childrenโ€™s Health Insurance Program (CHIP) covers routine eye exams and glasses for children. Check your stateโ€™s program information for details. 

How can I get free prescription glasses?

Many organizations such as VSP Eyes of Hope, New Eyes, and VSP Sight for Students offer low- or no-cost eye exams and eyeglasses for households who meet the income guidelines for eligibility.

Household income requirements range from 200% to 250% of US Poverty Guidelines ($18,310 for a family of two people, $23,030 for a family of three, and up from there for larger households). InfantSEE, which provides vision care for babies, has no set income requirements. 

Even if you donโ€™t qualify for those programs, plenty of online retailers offer great deals on affordable eyewear.

Check out ABBEโ€™s free and buy-one-get-one-free eyeglasses discounts, as well as the โ€œfirst pair freeโ€ prescription glasses promotions from Finest Glasses, The Glasses Shop, and Kits.

Zenniโ€™s cheapest options are $6.95, and Zeelool offers sale frames for less than $10 with basic lenses for $5 more, but customizations can increase the price substantially.

Glasses from 39 Dollar Glasses are $39, and pairs from Discount Glasses start around $39, too.

Can you get free prescription sunglasses?

Many vision plans โ€” including government-sponsored plans โ€” cover prescription sunglasses, though you should read the fine print to make sure those wonโ€™t be the only glasses covered for that year. Retail sites that offer deals on free glasses often specify that the lenses must be clear, not tinted or transition-type lenses. If you need prescription sunglasses for work or due to a health condition, ask your doctor how you can get your glasses at a lower cost.

Check out these other helpful and free resources for low-income families and individuals:

Help for single moms: 16+ resourcesFree daycare
Free laptopsScholarships for single moms
Free carFree formula
Free smartphoneBest jobs moms can do from home
Free wifiFree and low-cost prescriptions
Free clothesFree diapers
Government assistance for single momsFree gas
Free preschoolAffordable dentures
Free money10+ charities that help single mothers
Tutoring and homework helpFree or low-cost after school programs
Health insuranceCash for junk cars
Free foodDumpster diving
Low-income home loansFree school supplies
Home buyer grantsFree housing
Free or cheap dental careFree gift cards
Free Christmas moneyCheap eats near me
Free money for billsFree hearing test

Seeking (formerly Seeking Arrangement) is a popular dating website for sugar dating. Sugar dating is the practice in which a sugar baby (typically an attractive young woman) enters a relationship with a sugar daddy (an older, wealthier man).

During the course of the relationship, the sugar daddy will pay the sugar baby an allowance (a sum of money) monthly or per encounter. Itโ€™s gotten both good and bad press in the past.

I talked to women who have used the app to learn about their experiences and see whether Seeking is worth using for anyone who wants to start sugar dating. Here's what you should know:

What is Seeking.com (formerly Seeking Arrangement)?

Who is Seeking Arrangement for?

Is Seeking Arrangement legit?

Is Seeking Arrangement illegal?

Seeking Arrangement reviews

Seeking Arrangement: What sugar daddies should know

Seeking Arrangement: What sugar babies should know

Pros of Seeking Arrangement

Cons of Seeking Arrangement

Bottom line: Is it worth it to pay for Seeking Arrangement?

What is Seeking (formerly known as Seeking Arrangement)?

Seeking is a niche dating site thatโ€™s catered to sugar dating. The website was founded in 2006 by Brandon Wade, an MIT graduate. He was unsatisfied with his dating life and felt that there wasnโ€™t a place for successful, intellectual people to feel โ€œhotโ€ or for attractive people to shine.

According to Seekingโ€™s website, Wade named the site โ€œSeeking Arrangementโ€ because he wanted users to be transparent about what they wanted out of a relationship. 

Seeking quickly became a popular dating site for sugar dating, bringing the concept to the mainstream. Because sugar dating has such a negative stigma (Seeking has been embroiled in controversies, including the U.S. Rep. Matt Gaetz sex scandals1), theyโ€™ve rebranded into a luxury, sophisticated dating website that matches successful users with attractive individuals.

Who is Seeking Arrangement for?

Seeking is for anyone who is open to the idea of dating a sugar daddy. Itโ€™s also for people who see success and money as a big factor for dating, as there are many older men on the site. 

What is sugar dating?

Sugar dating is a type of dating in which a person (sugar baby) gets involved with someone wealthy (sugar daddy/momma) in exchange for financial support or extravagant gifts (think vacations, luxury goods, etc). 

Typically the sugar baby is a young woman and the sugar daddy is an older man. (Of course, anyone of any gender can be a sugar baby or sugar daddy/momma). When I scoped out the website (I created two fake accounts: one as a sugar baby and another as a sugar daddy), I noticed the majority of sugar babies were young women in their 20s. For sugar daddies, there was more variety in ages but a majority were in their 50s.

One popular misconception with sugar dating is that sex is always involved. That is not always the case; sugar babies can also provide platonic companionship. Each arrangement differs depending on whatโ€™s discussed between the two people.

How can I download the Seeking Arrangement app?

The Seeking app is available on Google Play or iOS. Just go to your smartphoneโ€™s app store to download it for free.

Is Seeking Arrangement legitimate?

Yes, Seeking Arrangement is a legit website for sugar dating. While there may be fake profiles like on any other dating site, there are legitimate users seeking a sugar dating relationship.

โ€œThe people I have met on Seeking have been phenomenal,โ€ says a current Seeking Arrangement user, who asked to be identified as Chelsea. โ€œNearly all have been successful, driven, motivated, and highly intelligent men.โ€

Is Seeking Arrangement illegal?

The Seeking Arrangement website isnโ€™t illegal, but it gets blurry when sex is involved. In most states, itโ€™s illegal to exchange sex for money, which constitutes prostitution. This gray area is why the site came under fire in spring 2021 during U.S. Rep. Gaetzโ€™s sex scandal2

If youโ€™re unfamiliar with what happened, hereโ€™s a recap: The Justice Department conducted an investigation as to whether the Florida Republican had sex with an underage woman. During the investigation, details of his personal life emerged, including the fact that he paid to have sex with numerous women he met on Seeking Arrangement3.

Wade has insisted that Seeking Arrangement is not a website for sex work. According to Seeking Arrangementโ€™s website, theyโ€™re taking steps to ensure that no one is being exploited by adding extra security measures and aligning themselves with anti-trafficking organizations4. Law enforcement officials are also known to go on Seeking Arrangement to look out for interactions that constitute sex work5

Seeking says itโ€™s actively listening to the community and is looking for ways to make the website safer. However, Iโ€™m not so sure Seeking Arrangement is fulfilling that promise. While the website doesnโ€™t have a pay tool to exchange money, they do encourage sugar daddies to use pay apps, like Venmo, to send money to their sugar babies. Reddit users have also expressed their concerns with the site, saying theyโ€™ve encountered many fake profiles and escorts on the site.

Seeking Arrangements – not worth the investment
by insugarlifestyleforum

Shortly after the Matt Gaetz sex scandal, Rachel Uchitel (former SA spokeswoman and famously known as Tiger Woodsโ€™ ex-mistress) sued Seeking Arrangement for breach of contract6. During her partnership with the site, she said she alerted Seeking multiple times about complaints she heard from female users about feeling unsafe. She said she was ignored. While some reviews below suggest Seeking does shut down accounts that exhibit unlawful behavior, I donโ€™t think theyโ€™re doing enough.

Seeking Arrangement reviews

Seeking Arrangement BBB rating and reviews

Seeking Arrangementโ€™s parent company, InfoStream Group Inc., is not accredited and has a D- rating from the Better Business Bureau. Most reviews are from former users whoโ€™ve accused the website of suspending their accounts. 

Seeking Arrangement reviews on Trustpilot

Seeking also has a low rating on Trustpilot โ€” 1.2 out of 5 stars to be exact. Reviews appear to come from men complaining about being banned from the site and about the women not being attractive enough (ew). There were also complaints from women about the profiles being fake and how Seeking wasnโ€™t worth the money.

Seeking Arrangement reviews on Sitejabber

Seeking has 1.5 stars on Sitejabber. While most of the reviews echo the same sentiments as the ones on Trustpilot and BBB, there are some positive reviews on Seeking. A sugar momma gave a good review about her experience using Seeking. Some reviews even praise the site for connecting them with the person they ended up marrying.

Seeking Arrangement: What sugar daddies should know

How does Seeking Arrangement work for sugar daddies?

Sugar daddy users are required to create a profile โ€” like they normally would on any dating website. You can log in with your email, then create a username and upload photos. Seeking will ask you general info about yourself, such as your ethnicity, body type, relationship status, and other lifestyle preferences. 

Theyโ€™ll ask what youโ€™re seeking and allow you to select answers, such as monogamy, luxury travel, or companionship (among others). Seeking will also ask sugar daddies for their net worth and annual income. Once your profile is set up, you can start searching for profiles and send likes and real gifts (think handbags and jewelry) to sugar babies.

What is a good sugar baby allowance?

The right allowance for sugar babies will greatly vary based on location and couple. 

โ€œThere are two main types of monetary gifts and allowances: PPM (pay-per-meet) and weekly/monthly,โ€ Chelsea says. โ€œExpect PPM starting out, but as the connection progresses, a consistent allowance may be expected.โ€

In Chelseaโ€™s hometown of Columbus, Ohio, $300 PPM is a good amount, but Alie M., 27, a former sugar baby, says sheโ€™s gotten up to $4,000 a month. To get an idea of common payouts, consult this very organized and informative Reddit master thread that lists allowances in different cities:

Allowance Master Thread 2021-2022
byu/LaSirene23 insugarlifestyleforum

What is a typical sugar baby arrangement?

The arrangement you have with a sugar baby will vary. 

โ€œMost of the time, sugar daddies are craving a deep emotional connection accompanied by the intimacy that only a connection could provide,โ€ Chelsea adds. 

She says some users might be seeking a companionship-based relationship, but itโ€™s rare for a sugar daddy to want something exclusively online or platonic.

Just like traditional dating sites and apps, itโ€™s important to discuss your desires and expectations with a potential partner to ensure youโ€™re both on the same page.  

โ€œThis should be an attraction by both parties,โ€ Chelsea adds. โ€œIf not, youโ€™re not in the right place.โ€

Sugar arrangements can include an older woman, too.

Dating a cougar? 9 things you should know

Older women dating younger men: 3 things to know

Seeking Arrangement: What sugar babies should know

What are Seeking Arrangement sugar babies?

According to Seeking, a sugar baby is an attractive individual who gets involved in a relationship with someone wealthy and successful.

How does Seeking Arrangement work for sugar babies?

The signup process is similar to signing up as a sugar daddy. Youโ€™ll create a username and fill out your profile, describing general info about yourself and what youโ€™re looking for. 

Alie used Seeking back when she was in college and needed money. She advises people not to share their real names or personal information like phone numbers until theyโ€™ve established trust with their match. 

She also suggests choosing profile pictures that are vague. 

Once your profile is complete, you can search for sugar daddies using filters such as location, reason for using the app, hair color, and education (note: certain filters are premium) and start messaging.

Is Seeking Arrangement FREE for Sugar Babies?

Seeking has a free version you can use that allows you to search, like, and message members. Its premium package is free for college students (you get the upgrade by signing up using your .edu email). Other members have to pay.

What sugar babies get with Seekingโ€™s premium subscription ($19.99/month for a 30-day subscription or $15/month for a 90-day subscription):

  • Advanced privacy settings
  • Advance search filters (ie: search members based on net worth, relationship status, and body type.)
  • Inbox filters
  • Read receipts
  • Ability to add free member notes to keep track of who you meet.

How much does a sugar daddy pay?

While sugar babies are allowed to message members for free, sugar daddies donโ€™t get as many free features. They have the option of purchasing two different subscription packages.

What sugar daddies get with Seekingโ€™s premium package ($109.99/month for a 30-day subscription or $96.99/month for a 90-day subscription):

  • Unlock conversations with members
  • Hide online status, join date, and last login country
  • Boost profile to get it more noticed
  • Option to filter inbox

There is also a 30-day Diamond subscription for $274.99 per month, which gives you a diamond badge on your profile and puts you in front of more users.

Pros of Seeking Arrangement

Upfront user experience

Chelsea likes Seeking because people are honest about what theyโ€™re looking for in a relationship. 

โ€œI donโ€™t see it any differently than Tinder or Hinge,โ€ Chelsea says. โ€œFor example, when you match on Tinder, we all know thereโ€™s a large likelihood that the other person is looking for intimacy/sex. Deep down, thatโ€™s the motivating factor.โ€

Free features for sugar babies

You can get away with not having to pay for a premium subscription if you use a college email address.

Benefits can go beyond financial support

Iโ€™m not suggesting you go on Seeking to make money, but for those who do it, the financial support goes a long way. 

โ€œI have been able to begin investing, have everything I could have ever wanted, and more,โ€ Chelsea says. 

For Alie, sugar dating allowed her relief from her finances while sheโ€™s in college. She also received business advice and mentorship from her partners, which is of course another valuable tool.

Cons of Seeking Arrangement

Fake profiles and scammers

This is typical of most dating websites, but like with every new encounter, you need to take safety precautions and look out for potential red flags

โ€œAlways have a phone call or video chat before meeting, even if itโ€™s brief,โ€ Chelsea suggests. 

You can also invest in a background check from a site like TruthFinder.

Not for long-term relationships

Thatโ€™s not to say it canโ€™t happen, but if youโ€™re looking for a more traditional approach to dating, you should consider another dating app.

More women than men on the site

As always, who's on the site will depend on your location. Big cities will probably see more men on the site versus small rural areas.

Bottom line: Is it worth it to pay for Seeking Arrangement?

I donโ€™t think itโ€™s worth paying, but as long as youโ€™re safe, finding a sugar daddy on Seeking might be worth a try. My issue with Seeking Arrangement is the number of escorts and fake profiles on the website, which is the biggest reason why I donโ€™t think itโ€™s worth paying. 

For me, safety is the biggest issue when it comes to dating of any kind, and I donโ€™t think SA is doing enough for women to feel safe and empowered on the website. If you live in a big city, itโ€™s probably easy to meet a sugar daddy IRL. If you do decide to use Seeking Arrangement, definitely proceed with caution (as you would using any dating app) and be very careful about what you share/agree to before trusting anyone you meet.

Interested in checking out other dating sites and apps? Here are some dating app reviews:

BumbleAdult Friend FinderTinder
SingleParentMeetChristian MingleCatholic dating sites
Christian dating apps13 international
dating apps
Coffee Meets Bagel
Hinge
Who is Seeking Arrangement for?

Seeking is for anyone who is open to the idea of dating a sugar daddy. Itโ€™s also for people who see success and money as a big factor for dating, as there are many older men on the site.

What is sugar dating?

Sugar dating is a type of dating in which a person (sugar baby) gets involved with someone wealthy (sugar daddy/momma) in exchange for financial support or extravagant gifts (think vacations, luxury goods, etc).

Is Seeking Arrangement legitimate?

Yes, Seeking Arrangement is a legit website for sugar dating.

Is Seeking Arrangement illegal?

The Seeking Arrangement website isnโ€™t illegal, but it gets blurry when sex is involved. In most states, itโ€™s illegal to exchange sex for money, which constitutes prostitution.

SOURCES

  1. “The Matt Gaetz Investigation: What We Know” April 2, 2021. The New York Times https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/02/us/politics/matt-gaetz-investigation.html
  2. “The Matt Gaetz Investigation: What We Know” April 2, 2021. The New York Times https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/02/us/politics/matt-gaetz-investigation.html
  3. “Meet the Sugar Daddy Websute From the Matt Gaetz Scandal” April 7, 2021. Slate https://slate.com/technology/2021/04/matt-gaetz-seeking-arrangement-joel-greenberg-sugar-daddies.html
  4. “Our Story” Seeking https://www.seeking.com/our-story
  5. “When College Students Turn to Sugar Daddies for Financial Aid” September 30, 2019. VOA https://www.voanews.com/a/student-union_when-college-students-turn-sugar-daddies-financial-aid/6176695.html
  6. “Rachel Uchitel sues Seeing Arrangement for breach of contract” July 22, 2021. Page Six https://pagesix.com/2021/07/22/rachel-uchitel-sues-seeking-arrangement-for-breach-of-contract/

More than 36 million Americans do not have any teeth, and 120 million โ€” or approximately 1 in 3 โ€” are missing at least one tooth, according to the American College of Prosthodontists.1 

Missing teeth can affect more than a personโ€™s physical appearance. The American Dental Association2 reports that people with missing teeth: 

  • Have a harder time getting a job
  • Often experience chronic pain
  • Tend to withdraw socially, which impacts their ability to make friends and find love
  • Have difficulty eating and absorbing nutrients, putting them at increased risk for obesity, diabetes, coronary artery disease and cancer

Cost was cited by the ACP as the top reason people didnโ€™t visit the dentist more frequently. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention3 reports 50% of Americans donโ€™t have dental insurance, and each visit can cost hundreds of dollars at a minimum. Managing missing teeth is more expensive.

The ideal way to deal with a missing to lost tooth is a surgical implant, but the national average cost for a surgical dental implant is nearly $2,000 per tooth, putting them out of reach for millions who need them. While dentures are far more affordable, The ADA puts the average cost of dentures at $1,700 per arch, or a full set of dentures for $3,400.

There are more affordable options, including “boil and bite dentures” wherein a set of dentures are sent to you, and you custom-fit them to your gums by boiling and biting the blanks. A full set of immediate dentures from Denture Rescue, which as an A Better Business Bureau rating, costs $374, with a single arch costing $187.

Dentures are a less-expensive alternative to replace some or all of your missing teeth, but they can vary considerably in cost and quality and require periodic replacement and adjustment, says Dr. Tom McCarthy, a dentist of 47 years in Waukesha, Wisc. 

McCarthy says custom-made dentures that take three to six visits at a dentist's office is most likely to provide the best fit, durability, and appearance, while lower-quality dentures are more likely to chip, lose teeth, or dull with wear. 

โ€œThe dentures should be closely adapted to the gums for a comfortable and stable fit that allows the patient to chew food with back teeth and show a beautiful smile with their front teeth,โ€ says Dr. Julie Driscoll, a dentist in North Charleston, S.C.

Driscoll says a good set of well-fitting dentures should stay in with suction for most patients, though lower dentures may require some adhesive. 

While there are numerous options for cheap dentures online and from denture shops across the country, Dr. Greg Grillo of Express Dentist, an emergency dental service based in Naselle, Wash., says it can be difficult to look at a denture and gauge its longevity. These are some things to look out for: 

  • Pink base shouldn't be paper-thin or have any cracks 
  • Teeth on a quality denture should look natural with some color variations and not like a pure-white, monochromatic pieces of plastic

Grillo says low-quality dentures made from economical acrylic may be more prone to breaking, often look fake, and may easily come off of the acrylic base. 

He notes that poor-quality impressions can also lead to inaccurate models and ill-fitting dentures, so he advises against using at-home impression kits, even if the companies use a high-quality dental lab and have oversight by a licensed dentist. 

โ€œThe quality of the impression that's used to make the denture models is critical, and it requires exceptional detail,โ€ Grillo says. โ€œThere's significant room for error, which will affect the fit of the denture.โ€ 

He says dentures typically require one or more adjustments for a proper fit, and this may be difficult to manage without real-time, hands-on support.

McCarthy says that while cost is important for a lot of people who need dentures, when you are going to have the dentures for years, โ€œquality should count a lot.โ€ 

Where to buy affordable dentures

Medicaid coverage for dentures varies by state (some states donโ€™t cover dentures at all), and private dental insurance plans typically cover up to 50% of the cost, according to the National Association of Dental Plans4

Here are some more places you can find affordable dentures:

Types of dentures

Costs of dentures: How much do dentures generally cost?

FAQs about dentures

Affordable Dentures & Implants

As the name suggests, Affordable Dentures & Implants specializes in dentures and implants; they also do crowns. With about 400 locations in 42 states, they work to keep costs down by using minimal dรฉcor and buying supplies in bulk. 

Most Affordable Dentures & Implants clinics use on-site labs to produce dentures, rather than sending them out to a commercial dental lab. That means you can typically get impressions and receive temporary same-day dentures, then come back when your final dentures are ready. 

Affordable Dentures & Implants is accredited by the Better Business Bureau with an A+ rating and boasts 4.3 out of 5 stars on Trustpilot. Thousands of positive reviews cite quality service and satisfaction with denture quality, though some negative reviews exist: 

Affordable Dentures and Implants review on Trustpilot.
Trustpilot review on Affordable Dentures and Implants.
Negative review of Affordable Dentures and Implants posted on Trustpilot.
5-star review on Affordable Dentures and Implants Trustpilot profile.

Affordable Dentures & Implants does not have a universal pricing model, so the cost of your dentures will vary from dentist to dentist and depending on the type of dentures you choose. 

Here are some example prices from different clinics across the U.S.: 

  • Denture prices from the Affordable Dentures & Implants clinic in Dallas, Texas:
Affordable Dentures and Implants prices in Dallas Texas.
  • Denture prices from the Affordable Dentures & Implants clinic in Harrisburg, Pa.: 
Affordable Dentures and Implants prices in Harrisburg Pennsylvania.
  • Denture prices from the Affordable Dentures & Implants clinic in Roseville, Calif.:
Affordable Dentures and Implants prices in Roseville California.

These prices do not include the cost of extractions.  

Affordable Dentures & Implants also offers financing options for individuals who qualify. 

Aspen Dental

There are more than 900 Aspen Dental practices across the country. 

Aspen Dentalโ€™s website lists prices starting at $769 for a partial set and $1,649 for a full set of dentures. If you need to replace broken dentures, prices start at $299 per arch. You must request this offer during your first visit. 

Aspen Dental also offers financing options with credit approval.

Aspen Dental has a B- rating with the BBB (not accredited) and only 1.6 out of 5 stars on Trustpilot. Reviews cite service issues and poor denture quality.

Community health clinics

Local, state, federal or tribal clinics might provide low-cost dentures on a sliding scale (or even free dentures) along with their general health care services. 

Here are three resources to find clinics near you:

McCarthy says local dental schools may also offer quality dentures at a reduced price.

Where to sell gold dental scraps for the most cash

Online dentures

It is possible to buy dentures online using an at-home impression kit. Most of these companies do not accept insurance, though prices tend to be lower because they donโ€™t have as many overhead costs.

Driscoll says dentists typically advise against DIY impressions to ensure there is no sign of disease or other potential complications before new or replacement dentures are prescribed.

Dr. Rod Strickland, a dentist in Savannah, Ga., who is also the creator of a denture brand called the Denture Fountain of Youth, says at-home kits and online services will never achieve the same quality as dentures fitted in person by a professional. 

โ€œYou need professional help to get them seated evenly and to deal with issues that will cause more sore spots, breakage, and that sunken-in denture look,โ€ Strickland says. 

If you are considering online dentures, itโ€™s important to do thorough research and seek out real customer reviews (outside of those posted on the brandโ€™s website). 

These are some options for cheap dentures online, though not many outside reviews exist to substantiate denture quality:

Denture Rescue

Denture Rescue is a relatively new company that sells directly from a dentist-owned U.S. based laboratory directly to customers. The promise is very fast, customizable and affordable dentures without leaving home.

Denture Rescue has an A rating with the Better Business Bureau where it is accredited and offers a money-back guarantee.

There are two main products offered by Denture Rescue:

  1. Immediate boil and bite dentures wherein a set of dentures are sent to you, and you custom-fit them to your gums by boiling and biting the blanks. You use them immediately.
    A full set of immediate dentures costs $197 for one arch, or $374 for a full set.
  2. Custom dentures for $749 for one denture, or $1,498 for a full set, both available in four installments.
    Custom dentures include a full range of partials, flippers and nesbits.

Denture Rescue custom dentures work like this:

  • Denture Rescue sends you an at-home impression kit with a free shipping label included and access to a fitting expert.
  • Create the impressinsions and return them. A dentist will review your impressions and create a plan for your denture or partial.
  • Receive in the mail a trial fitting.
  • Either ask for adjustments, or give a green light. Denture Rescue then crafts and ships your dentures.

Dentures Online

Dentures Online only provides full-plated dentures. Their dental impression kits cost $145 (youโ€™ll have to purchase upper and lower kits separately), and their finished dentures cost $150 per plate.

Dentures Online is run by a company called WorldDenturesLab, LLC, with a physical address in Pennsylvania. WorldDenturesLab is not BBB rated but has 3 out of 5 stars on the Better Business Bureau website.  

Online dentures from Dentures Online.

DentKits

DentKits offers single-tooth flippers and nesbits for $299 and full dentures starting at $449 per plate. Product turnaround ranges from 3 to 8 weeks after impressions are received, depending on the type of dentures you order. 

DentKits has an F rating (not accredited) and no reviews on the Better Business Bureau website. 

Online dentures from Dentkit.

Low-Priced Flexible Dentures

Partial dentures from Low-Priced Flexible Dentures cost $279.99 per plate, and a full set costs $499.99. Answer a few questions online, and order an impression kit for $39.99. Once you send in your impressions and order your dentures, theyโ€™ll be fabricated and sent to you within about two weeks.

Low-Priced Flexible Dentures is not BBB rated, and the only reviews are in comments on its Facebook page

Online dentures from Low-Priced Flexible Dentures.

Online Denture Smile

Online Denture Smile offers partial dentures that cost $279.98 per plate or $499.98 for a full set of dentures. Impression kits cost $39.98. Once you send in your impressions and order your dentures, theyโ€™ll be fabricated and sent to you within about two weeks.

Online Denture Smile appears to be owned by the same company as Low-Priced Flexible Dentures (they have similar phone numbers and repeat website text).

Online dentures from Online Denture Smile.

Search for โ€œaffordable dentures near meโ€

If you want to find โ€œaffordable dentures near me,โ€ you can Google to see if any clinics or providers offer low-cost dentures nearby:

Search โ€œfree dentures near meโ€

Doing a similar search for โ€œfree dentures near meโ€ will likely bring up dental insurance options and local charitable organizations or government assistance programs that provide free or low-cost dentures in your area. 

Types of dentures

Flippers

Flippers are meant to replace one or two missing teeth in a personโ€™s mouth and are attached to a removable retainer that fits along the roof of your mouth, creating the appearance of a full smile.

Nesbits

Nesbit dentures are used to replace missing molars in the back of the mouth to assist with chewing.

Partial dentures

Partial dentures are for people missing only one or a few teeth. The replacement teeth are set in plastic โ€œgumsโ€ and usually have a metal component to connect them to nearby teeth. 

Complete dentures

Complete dentures replace an entire arch of teeth (upper or lower, or both) and their surrounding tissues. 

Immediate dentures

Immediate dentures are temporary teeth you get the same day your natural teeth are pulled. It can take several months for your mouth to heal enough to get permanent dentures. 


For patients looking for a more permanent solution than removable dentures, options like gold dental implants may also be worth discussing with a dentist.

Costs of dentures: How much do dentures generally cost?

Prices vary widely by location and based on the material used to create your dentures. A dentist in Manhattan or San Francisco is likely to charge more than a dentist in a less populated area.

Each patientโ€™s situation is different, as well. For example, if you already have missing teeth, then you wonโ€™t have to pay for them to be pulled. You also wonโ€™t have to pay for same-day dentures to wear until your mouth has healed enough to get permanent ones.

Dental insurance may cover up to 50% of your dentures cost. In some states, Medicaid might pay for your entire set of dentures.

According to the American Dental Association 2020 Survey of Dental Fees, these are the average costs for different types of dentures:

Cost of flippers and nesbits

  • $192.60 per tooth

Cost of partial dentures

  • Upper partial denture (resin base) – $1,338.52
  • Lower partial denture (resin base) – $1,350.62
  • Upper partial denture (cast metal framework with resin base) – $1,809.27
  • Lower partial denture (cast metal framework with resin base) – $1,811.46
  • Upper partial denture (flexible base) – $1,503.04
  • Lower partial denture (flexible base) – $1,498.05

Cost of complete dentures

  • โ€‹โ€‹Complete upper denture – $1,739.91
  • Complete lower denture – $1,737.49

Cost of immediate dentures

  • Upper immediate denture – $1,852.49
  • Lower immediate denture – $1,850.74
  • Upper immediate partial denture (resin base) – $1,352.90
  • Lower immediate partial denture (resin base) – $1,354.47
  • Upper immediate partial denture (cast metal framework with resin base) – $1,701.10
  • Lower immediate partial denture (cast metal framework with resin base) – $1,725.42

FAQs about dentures:

What type of dentures are the best?

Driscoll says implant-supported dentures are best, but their cost can be prohibitive. Dental implant surgery costs an average $2,000 per tooth, according to the ADA

Implant-supported dentures are surgically attached to a patientโ€™s jawbone tissue with a metal prosthetic called a post. These posts have to fuse into the patientโ€™s jawbone (a process that usually takes 3 to 6 months) before a permanent crown tooth is attached to the top part of the prosthetic. Implant patients wear temporary teeth while their implants heal. 

Dental implants are considered a permanent tooth replacement and cannot be removed without the assistance of a dentist or oral surgeon.

Driscoll says a good, affordable set of dentures is a great option both in the long term and in the short term if a patient is saving up money to pay for implants in the future.

Strickland says even with high-quality dentures, expectations are key. Because dentures are a floating piece of plastic in your mouth, their fit, function, and comfort will probably never feel like your own teeth.

โ€œWhen I hear, โ€˜What kind of dentures are the best?โ€™ and the next question is about how little they can pay for them, I get concerned,โ€ Strickland says. โ€œYou can get low-cost dentures all over, but you need to measure your expectations for the look, material quality, fit, and longevity.โ€ 

He says some low-quality denture mills use a small, medium, or large approach that wonโ€™t fit as comfortably as a custom set.

What are dentures made of?

Dentures are typically made of acrylic resin for both the gums and the teeth, Driscoll says. Partial dentures may also include cast metal framework.

While denture teeth were historically made from porcelain, most modern dentures use acrylic or plastic teeth. 

โ€œThese teeth have more flexure and therefore do not transfer as much pressure to the underlying tissue and bone as porcelain teeth,โ€ Driscoll says. 

She says acrylic teeth:

  • Bond better to the denture base because they are made of more similar material
  • Are less prone to chipping (porcelain teeth are more brittle and prone to fracture) 
  • Weigh less than porcelain teeth, making it easier to speak and keep dentures in place without “clicking” when eating or speaking

Can I get my teeth pulled and dentures in the same day?

Yes you can get your teeth pulled and dentures in the same day, but those dentures wonโ€™t be permanent. Same-day or immediate dentures are worn until your mouth heals from a tooth extraction procedure. That typically takes several months.

Driscoll says It is important to have close follow-up with a dentist or an oral surgeon while healing from tooth extractions. 

How much does it cost to get all your teeth pulled and dentures?

It depends on several factors: 

  • The cost of dentistry in your area
  • How many teeth youโ€™re having pulled
  • Type of sedation you choose (local, oral, intravenous)
  • Type of denture you choose (immediate or not, porcelain vs. acrylic)

Again, prices vary. The ADA reports an extraction can cost several hundred dollars per tooth depending on the type of extraction. 

Can you buy dentures on the internet?

Several companies offer impression kits that they send to you at home. You use the kit to make impressions of your teeth and mouth, then send your impressions back to the company, which will make your custom dentures. You can also find some DIY denture kits online like this one from Amazon, but most reviews arenโ€™t good. 

Driscoll notes that dentures are only as good as the impressions theyโ€™re made from, and new dentures often require one to three follow-up appointments to make adjustments for the best fit.

โ€œPatients need a point-of-contact they can trust to make these adjustments without causing damage to the dentures,โ€ Driscoll says.

If you choose to buy dentures on the internet, look for a company that offers a satisfaction guarantee โ€” which means theyโ€™ll work with you and make adjustments to your dentures in the event that your initial pair doesnโ€™t fit properly. 

Grillo says most dentists are trained to provide quality dentures and can offer payment plans, financing, and economical options for denture wearers. 

He advises people to check dentist and lab reviews for insight into their denture expertise and to consult a prosthodontist for complex cases.

Check out these other ways to find helpful and free resources for low-income families and individuals:

Help for single moms: 16+ resources$500 monthly single mom grant
Free laptopsScholarships for single moms
Free carFree Christmas gifts
Free smartphoneBest jobs moms can do from home
Free wifiFree and low-cost prescriptions
Free formulaFree clothes
Free toysGovernment assistance for single moms
Free gasFree daycare
Free preschoolFree prescription glasses
Free money10+ charities that help single mothers
Jobs for teensLow-income home loans
Free or cheap dental careFree money for bills
Free hearing aidsFree hearing test

SOURCES

  1. https://www.gotoapro.org/facts-figures/
  2. https://www.ada.org/-/media/project/ada-organization/ada/ada-org/files/resources/research/hpi/us-oral-health-well-being.pdf
  3. https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db336.htm#:~:text=Nationally%2C%2050.2%25%20of%20dentate%20adults,throughout%20the%20past%2012%20months.
  4. https://community.nadp.org/whydentalorg/about/understanding-dental-benefits
What type of dentures are the best?

Dr. Julie Driscoll says implant-supported dentures are best, but their cost can be prohibitive.

How much do dentures generally cost?

Prices vary widely by location and based on the material used to create your dentures. A dentist in Manhattan or San Francisco is likely to charge more than a dentist in a less populated area. Each patientโ€™s situation is different, as well. For example, if you already have missing teeth, then you wonโ€™t have to pay for them to be pulled. You also wonโ€™t have to pay for same-day dentures to wear until your mouth has healed enough to get permanent ones.

What are dentures made of?

Dentures are typically made of acrylic resin for both the gums and the teeth, Dr. Julie Driscoll says. Partial dentures may also include cast metal framework.

Can I get my teeth pulled and dentures in the same day?

Yes you can get your teeth pulled and dentures in the same day, but those dentures wonโ€™t be permanent. Same-day or immediate dentures are worn until your mouth heals from a tooth extraction procedure. That typically takes several months.

Can you buy dentures on the internet?

Several companies offer impression kits that they send to you at home. You use the kit to make impressions of your teeth and mouth, then send your impressions back to the company, which will make your custom dentures.

Finding a trustworthy and reliable babysitter for your kids can be daunting.

But when you do come across that perfect caregiver, it opens up a whole new world โ€” for work, exercise, date nights, meeting friends for dinner, or even getting in some much-needed alone time. 

If youโ€™re looking for a sitter, start by asking your friends and neighbors for recommendations. You can also hire local teenagers, college students, and older neighbors or offer to swap sitting with other parents in your neighborhood.

There are also plenty of babysitting sites and apps to help you find a babysitter in your area. These babysitting websites simplify the process, allowing you to book and pay for childcare services directly through their platforms. 

What are some of the best babysitting websites?

Here are some of the best babysitting websites:

How do I find a babysitter in my area?

(And tips and FAQs to help you find the right babysitter for your family.)

Babysitter website: Babysits.com

Is Babysits a legit site?

Babysits, which has been around since 2008, is a legit website and app that lets you search for babysitters in your area and filter results based on your needs. All you need to do is enter your zip code to see sitters in your area for free. 

As a premium member, you can communicate with sitters using Babysitsโ€™ secure messaging platform and book and pay for childcare directly through the website or app. 

When you click on a sitterโ€™s profile, you can see their experience, skills, hourly rate, and availability. You can also check their reviews and references and see whether their profile has been verified. 

Babysits assigns a Supersitter designation to its top-rated and most active sitters. You can filter for Supersitters during your search.

Babysits doesnโ€™t conduct full background checks, although babysitters can choose to complete a basic one through Babysitsโ€™ security partner. A babysitter will have a badge on their profile if theyโ€™ve cleared this basic background check, which traces their social security number and searches the national sex offender registry. Babysits recommends parents further screen a babysitter before hiring. 

Available for Apple and Android, the Babysits app has a 4.1 rating on iTunes and a 2.8 Google Play rating. 

For background checks, we recommend TruthFinder, which has an A+ rating with the Better Business Bureau and has searcheFor background checks, we recommendย FreePeopleSearchย or TruthFinder, which has an A+ rating with the Better Business Bureau and has searched hundreds of millions of criminal records.
ย d hundreds of millions of criminal records.

Instant Checkmate reviews: Is it worth paying for?

Is Babysits free to use?

Itโ€™s free to create a profile and search for babysitters on Babysits, but youโ€™ll need to sign up for a premium membership, which costs $19.99 per month, to book and pay for childcare.

Babysitter website: BambinoSitters.com

A woman teaching a child how to write. Check out these 6 places to find a babysitter in 2024.

Is Bambino Sitters a legit site?

Yes. Bambino is a website and app that uses your Facebook account to suggest sitters your friends have used and recommend. Your friends must also be signed up for the Bambino app for you to see their recommended sitters. Once you download the app, you can connect your Facebook profile with your Bambino account and start looking through babysitters. 

If you donโ€™t have a Facebook account or youโ€™d prefer not to use it, you can still use the app and see sitters in your neighborhood by logging in with your cell phone number. 

You can search for sitters based on who you know or by location and check out detailed bios and babysitter reviews. You can also connect with other parents you know and ask for referrals. 

You can pick a few caregivers youโ€™re interested in, and Bambino will text them to check their availability. If a sitter is available, you can book them directly through the app. Youโ€™ll be able to see the sitterโ€™s hourly rate, and you can pay them through the app once the job is complete. 

Bambino has four levels of sitters, starting with Junior Sitters who are 13-15 years old and new to babysitting, all the way up to Elite Sitters, who are 18 years or older, background-checked, and have a lot of babysitting experience. 

The Bambino app is available for Apple and Android. It has a 4.9 rating on iTunes and 3.9 rating on Google Play. 

Does Bambino cost money?

Itโ€™s free to set up a Bambino account, download the Bambino app, and find local babysitters. There is a small booking fee when you hire someone through the app: $1.95 for Junior Sitters and $2.95 for Standard, Advanced, and Elite Sitters.  

Finding people online: 9 sites to use and 4 expertsโ€™ tips

Babysitter website: Care.com

A man walking 6 dogs on a street. Here are 6 places to find a babysitter in 2024. Check them out here.

Is Care.com a legitimate company?

Founded in 2006, Care.com is one of the most well-known online caregiver platforms. You can use this babysitting website or its corresponding app to book babysitters, nannies, pet sitters, and elder care, and to look for daycares and preschools in your area. 

You can search for caregivers for free by zip code and filter by hourly rate, years of experience, education level, and relevant keywords. You can also post a job to find a babysitter for free. 

Youโ€™ll need a premium Care.com membership to send direct messages to potential babysitters, run additional background checks on top of the free one Care.com performs on all caregivers, see recommendations from previous families, and securely pay caregivers. 

Care.com screens all caregivers with CareCheck background check software before they can join the platform and accept jobs. They also run CareCheck on all caregivers annually. 

CareCheck searches:  

  • Social security number 
  • National sex offender registry
  • Multi-jurisdictional criminal database
  • Federal and county criminal records search

Care.com recommends you also run your own background check and check references before hiring a babysitter or other type of caregiver. 

Care.com has a B rating from the Better Business Bureau (BBB) and a 1.03 out of 5-star customer rating. Most customer complaints are around poor customer support and difficulty canceling premium membership. Care.com also has a 1 out of 5-star rating on TrustPilot, with similar customer complaints. 

Available for Apple and Android, the Care.com app has a 4.6 rating on iTunes and 3.4 rating on Google Play. 

Is Care.com free to use?

Basic memberships are free and include the ability to set up your account, post a job, and search and view the profiles of local caregivers. 

Premium membership allows you to contact babysitters, reply to applications, and book childcare. You have three membership options: month-to-month for $38.95 per month, quarterly for $24.95 per month, or annual for $12.95 per month. 

Babysitter website: SeekingSitters.com

A woman playing blocks with a child on the floor. Find out about these 6 places to find a babysitter in 2024.

Is Seeking Sitters legitimate?

SeekingSitters is a national on-demand babysitter referral service that was launched in 2004. This babysitting website has local owners in different parts of the U.S. who will match you with a babysitter in your area. 

To join the website and book a sitter, you will need to fill out a membership form. SeekingSitters will review your application, and once approved, you can put in a request for a sitter. If you like the babysitter they match you with, you can request them again. 

SeekingSitters puts all potential caregivers through an in-depth background check performed by their in-house team of licensed investigators. This background check is included in the one-time fee you pay to join. 

The background check includes personal identification verification, social security number fraud alerts, national sex offender network checks, and civil and criminal record searches. 

In addition to background-checking all babysitters on the platform, SeekingSitters interviews each sitter in person, reviews their work history, and checks up to three references so you donโ€™t have to do this yourself. 

All sitters are 18 years or older, have plenty of experience working with children, and have current CPR and first aid certifications. 

You can pay sitters through SeekingSittersโ€™ online payment processing vendor, OBT Online. One-time, part-time, and full-time sitters are available. 

Is Seeking Sitters free to use?

Seeking Sitters has a one-time sign-up fee of $59.99. This fee is non-refundable. 

Babysitter website: Sittercity.com

A bespectacled woman reading to a child. Check out these 6 places to find a babysitter in 2024 here.

Is Sittercity legitimate?

Sittercity is a legitimate babysitting website and app thatโ€™s been around since 2001. You can use the online platform to post a job, search for sitters near you, and filter based on location, schedule, and experience. 

With a premium membership, you can send potential sitters a message using Sittercityโ€™s secure messaging system, buy a background check, and set up an interview before booking. You can also read reviews and check references from other families.

Sittercity doesnโ€™t handle payments through their website, so itโ€™s best to agree on terms before hiring a sitter. Popular payment options include cash, Venmo, Paypal, and Zelle.  

All Sittercity caregivers are screened through the Family Watchdog database (a free service to help locate registered sex offenders in your area). Sittersโ€™ identities are also verified by Experian so you know youโ€™re talking with a real person. 

Sittercity doesnโ€™t conduct background checks on caregivers, so they recommend you purchase your own before hiring someone from their platform. You can request a background check directly from a sitterโ€™s profile. Choose from a basic background check ($20), motor vehicle background check ($30), or enhanced background check ($60). 

Sittercity has an A+ rating from the BBB but only a 1.14/5-star customer rating. Most complaints are about difficulty canceling premium membership, poor customer service, and lack of qualified babysitters, particularly outside of big cities. 

The Sittercity app is available on Apple and Android. It has a 4.7 rating on iTunes and 2.5 rating on Google Play. 

How does Sittercity make money?

Itโ€™s free to set up an account with Sittercity, but to access advanced features, youโ€™ll need to sign up for a premium membership. You have three membership options: month-to-month for $39 per month, quarterly for $25 per month, or annual for $12 per month.

Babysitter website: UrbanSitter.com

A woman cleaning the floor. You can try these 6 places to find a babysitter in 2024.

Is UrbanSitter legit?

Founded in 2011, UrbanSitter is a babysitting website and app that allows you to book occasional babysitters, full-time or part-time nannies, pet sitters, senior caregivers, and housekeepers. 

You can post jobs and search for local babysitters for free. You can also view sittersโ€™ detailed profiles to see their hourly rate, experience, and skills. Youโ€™ll need to sign up for a premium membership to message a babysitter and book and pay for childcare. 

You can pay sitters online with a credit card through UrbanSitterโ€™s website. You can also pay in cash, by check, or by payment platform app. 

All caregivers on UrbanSitter are required to be 18 years or older and have an active membership, completed profile, and cleared background check. UrbanSitter processes background checks via Chekr, a third-party safety platform. 

A Chekr screening includes county and national criminal searches, sex offender search, and global watchlist search. Babysitters must maintain a cleared status each year to remain on the platform. You can also pay for an upgraded background check for a sitter through UrbanSitter. 

UrbanSitter has a 2.5/5-star customer rating on TrustPilot. Complaints note poor customer service and limited pool of sitters to choose from. 

The Urbansitter app is available for Apple and Android. It has a 4.8 rating on iTunes and a 3.5 rating on Google Play. 

Is UrbanSitter free for parents?

Itโ€™s free to set up an account on UrbanSitter and browse local caregivers. To contact and book babysitters, youโ€™ll need to sign up for a premium membership. You have three membership options: one-month access pass for $34.95, three-month access pass for $59.95, or quarterly plan for $64.95. 

How do I find a babysitter in my area?

Beyond searching babysitting websites, you can tap into your personal network to find a babysitter in your area. Getting a referral from someone you know is one of the best ways to find a reliable babysitter, whether you're dating, interviewing for a new job, practicing some self care, or seeing a movie with friends

Facebook post

Post on Facebook to ask for referrals from your friends, relatives, and coworkers. Chances are, at least one of your Facebook friends has used a babysitter โ€” and if they havenโ€™t, they might still be able to put you in touch with someone else in their network who has. 

Facebook groups

Join Facebook groups for parents in your area to find a babysitter. Once you join, look through the posts in the groups to see who other parents have recommended, or make your own post asking for recommendations. You might find someone you never wouldโ€™ve been able to otherwise. 

Other moms

One of the easiest ways to get a referral is to simply ask other moms you trust. Reach out to moms at your childโ€™s school or any other moms whose opinions you value to find a responsible babysitter. 

YMCA and YWCA

You can also get referrals from local businesses and organizations. Call or stop by the YMCA or YWCA in your area. They may have a bulletin board with contact information for local babysitters. Other businesses you can try include daycare centers and libraries. 

Tips for finding and hiring a babysitter

Hereโ€™s how to find and hire a babysitter thatโ€™s reliable and trustworthy:

  • Ask for referrals. Reach out to friends, relatives, co-workers, other moms, or local organizations for babysitter recommendations. The wider the net you cast, the more likely youโ€™ll be able to find a good match.
  • Join a babysitting website. Another way to find a babysitter is to sign up for a babysitting website. These sites often come with a membership fee, but they usually handle vetting and background checks and allow you to schedule babysitters and pay them directly through their platforms.
  • Schedule an interview. Regardless of where you find your next babysitter, youโ€™ll want to interview them before hiring. You can do this over the phone or Zoom or in person. Ask them about their childcare experience, what kind of certifications they have, what their rates are, and what their caregiving style is like to see if theyโ€™re a good fit.
  • Conduct a background check. You can use an online public records search service, for a fee, for a comprehensive background check that includes criminal records, traffic citations, and sex offender status. 
  • Call references. Even if your sitter clears a background check, you should still call a few references. Ask references whether the babysitter is reliable and professional, how well they follow instructions, and how theyโ€™ve handled problems or emergencies. 
  • Make an offer. Once youโ€™ve found a babysitter you like, itโ€™s time to make them an offer and agree on payment terms. You may want to do a trial period of one or two weeks to make sure theyโ€™re a good fit. 
  • Write a contract. Itโ€™s always a good idea to get things in writing. Spell out the terms of the arrangement, including job duties and expectations, payment, and hours. 
  • Leave instructions. Jot down pertinent information, like what time your child eats and how much TV they can watch, and list out emergency contacts. Go over everything with the babysitter before you leave them with your child for the first time. 

FAQs about hiring a babysitter

Here are answers to common questions about how to find a babysitter. 

How much does a babysitter cost?

How much a babysitter costs depends on a variety of factors, including where you live and how many children you have. According to ZipRecruiter, the majority of babysitting jobs cost approximately $10 to $20 per hour for a single child. 

Expect to spend on the higher end of that spectrum if you live in a more expensive area (ZipRecruiter offers a breakdown of average babysitter salaries by state). And if you have more than one child, youโ€™ll need to add $1 to $2 per child to the hourly rate. 

How do I do a background check on a babysitter?

The first step to running a background check on a babysitter is to get their permission and ask them for their full legal name, social security number, and a form of identification such as a driverโ€™s license or passport. Youโ€™ll need this information to verify their identity and check records. 

These services pull data from multiple places and compile them into a report for you so you donโ€™t have to search different records individually. Reports may include previous arrests, criminal convictions, traffic citations, sex offender status, and more. 

Youโ€™ll have to pay to view a report. Prices vary; some of these services require you to sign up for a monthly membership, which can range from $20 to $30 per month for unlimited reports.

How much does a babysitter cost?

How much a babysitter costs depends on a variety of factors, including where you live and how many children you have. According toย ZipRecruiter, the majority of babysitting jobs cost approximately $10 to $20 per hour for a single child.

How do I do a background check on a babysitter?

The first step to running a background check on a babysitter is to get their permission and ask them for their full legal name, social security number, and a form of identification such as a driverโ€™s license or passport. Youโ€™ll need this information to verify their identity and check records.

Now, before you click out of this blog thinking you do not have time to take care of yourself try this: think of how you might respond if I told you this blog was about how to help or take care of someone else in your life. Youโ€™d likely get your pen and paper out and get cracking, right? But, when the focus is caring for you there is likely more hesitancy, procrastination and disinterest.

Keep reading and trust me โ€” using good emotional and physical self-care techniques will save you time, money, and stress when managing your divorce and will help you carve out some breathing room. You can discover a wonderful range of self care and relaxation ideas at Rest & Digest to help you live a healthier lifestyle every day.

Elizabethโ€™s quick take on Self-Care Sunday

Therapist Elizabeth Cohen summarizes self-care practices as:

  1. Guard your energy, and say โ€˜noโ€™  often
  2. Stop insisting on doing it all. Ask for help.
  3. Prioritize making your physical space peaceful
  4. Validate your feelings and be kind to yourself
  5. Gratitude! 

The idea of self-care is thrown around a lot. But, most of my clients look at me blankly when I mention the concept.

What is self-care?

Self-care Sunday tips

Self-Care Sunday checklist

How to get โ€˜me time'

What is self-care?

Letโ€™s start by defining self-care. One of my favorite mantras is โ€œself-care is self-protection.โ€ This means that engaging in behaviors that are kind and loving that require you to take care of yourself first, protects you from pain and heartbreak.

This means that engaging in behaviors that are kind and loving that require you to take care of yourself first, protects you from pain and heartbreak. That care can include everything from protecting your emotional well-being to paying attention to physical issues that affect your comfort, such as ongoing scalp irritation that may be linked to scalp eczema.

This is just like flossing our teeth. We floss so we will have healthy teeth in the long run not for the immediate effect. Before we dive into the Sunday self care tips I want to mention a common misconception about self-care. Some of you might think that self-care is simply selfish. After all, we have been taught that focusing on ourselves and taking me time to enjoy ourselves is lavish. We live in a culture where working hard and sacrificing is valued and rest and recuperation is devalued. So, donโ€™t be surprised if you find yourself struggling to accept that self-care is worth your time. 

There is a difference between being selfish and self-care. Being selfish means you are only thinking about your needs to the detriment of others' needs around you. Self-care refers to behaviors you engage in so that you can fill up your own gas tank. By nurturing yourself in this way you can be more selfless and giving in the future. The goal here is to take care of yourself so that you can show up as the best version of you to others. It is important to note that there is emotional, physical and spiritual self care. We will discuss all types. 

What is Self-Care Sunday?

Here are 5 tips for Self-Care Sunday to refresh and recharge yourself.

Like โ€˜meatless Mondayโ€™ and โ€˜casual Friday,โ€™ Self-Care Sunday is an easy, positive, weekly way to remember to exercise a positive habit โ€” in this case, taking time out to care for your own physical, mental, emotional and spiritual wellbeing. 

Try these 41 things to do by yourself for a fuller life

What are the benefits of Self-Care Sunday?

A regular Self-Care Sunday practice will help you:

  • Improve your physical health
  • Improve your mental health
  • Improve your spiritual life 
  • Improve your relationships
  • Better manage your time and energy 
  • Attract more positivity to your life
  • Reach your goals

Here are my top Self-Care Sunday tips:

SELF CARE SUNDAY TIP 1: SAY NO

A woman raising her hand, saying no. Here are 5 tips for Self-Care Sunday to refresh and recharge yourself.

I can still remember the chills I felt down my spine when someone told me that โ€œNoโ€ is a full sentence. It suddenly occurred to me that I did not need to over explain, apologize or undo my behavior when I told someone I could not deliver on their request. I noticed I had time and energy back.  While you might worry that saying โ€œnoโ€ is being mean, keep in mind that there are many ways to say โ€œnoโ€ kindly. I often recommend you start with acknowledgement for the request, state your โ€œnoโ€ and then end with an expression of gratitude for the consideration. 

SELF CARE SUNDAY TIP 2: ASK FOR HELP

Learn more about these 5 tips for Self-Care Sunday to refresh and recharge yourself.

The second tool for self-care is asking for help. Allow yourself at least 15 minutes for this exercise. Write down all the things you do in a day. Write down everything you do from the moment you wake up to when your head hits your pillow. Write down all you do for your family, work, pets, household, and your finances. Use as many pages in your journal as you need.

Getting all that you do out on paper helps us see how much you do and brings to light what needs attention. Now, next to each of the tasks you listed answer the following two questions:

  1. Does this have to be done at all?
  2. Does this have to be done by me?

The first question helps weed out any tasks you are doing out of habit, or routine that simply are not essential anymore. I remember washing my kids' sheets every day for years until I realized that as they get older, they do not dirty their sheets with the same frequency they did when they were younger. This example also applies to the second question. It occurred to me that my children, 13 and 15 at that time, could wash their own sheets. I did not have to be the one completing this task. 

5 benefits of hiring a housekeeper or house cleaner

SELF CARE SUNDAY TIP 3: CREATE A SOUL LOVING SPACE 

A home office. Check out these 5 tips for Self-Care Sunday to refresh and recharge yourself. Visit this link.

The third self-care tool is to create a soul-loving space. Consider a space in your home or office that you would like to dedicate to you and your serenity. This is a place where you can land at the end of the day or when you need a moment of respite.

Now, close your eyes and picture a space that feeds your soul. What colors do you see? What textures do you feel? What smells do you smell? What sounds do you hear? Do you want candles, music, blankets, pillows, incense, inspirational images or pictures? Really design a space that would bring ease simply when you are there. If you need some added inspiration feel free to look online and find images that resonate with you.

If you like to listen to audiobooks, check out our list to get started on your free audiobook journey.

SELF CARE SUNDAY TIP 4: THREE THINGS I DID WELL TODAY 

A man writing on a piece of paper. Here are 5 tips for Self-Care Sunday to refresh and recharge yourself.

The fourth self-care tool is one that I teach to all my clients. Before bed every night pull out a piece of paper and write down three things you did well that day.

When I teach this strategy most clients have the same reaction. Clients almost immediately say, โ€œI wonโ€™t be able to find anything because I do not do anything great during the day.โ€ However, I then tell them the secret to this tool which is to pick really small behaviors. Really small. For example, you can write down if you said โ€œbless youโ€ after someone sneezed, held the door open for someone, said hello to the doorman in your office building, smiled at the barista in the morning or listened to a co-workerโ€™s story.

I know these seem like small behaviors, but all the small actions you take every day make up the special person you are. When we dismiss these kind gestures, we are missing parts of us that are kind, thoughtful and generous. We need to keep an eye on to help our sense of self grow and flourish. As you know when you are going through a divorce your confidence takes a hit, so please try this exercise at night and notice what comes into your awareness.

SELF  SUNDAY TIP 5: GRATITUDE LIST

A woman giving a heart sign on a post about self-care Sunday.

Unless you have been living under a rock you have likely heard about the power of gratitude lists. If you are like many of my clients you are curious, but not sure how to get started. Like all new behaviors and especially those to help increase self-care and self-confidence we need to start small. I ask my clients to write down 3 things they are grateful for each day.

I have some rules about what they are allowed to write. They cannot write large conceptual ideas they are grateful for like love, family, and health. While I certainly hope you have those things and feel grateful for them, they are not helpful for this practice because they are to operationalize. However, we can say โ€œI am grateful for the spontaneous hug my 14-year-old gave me this morning. I want you to notice small moments of gratitude.

For example, a common item on New Yorkers' gratitude lists is catching the subway before it pulls out of the station. A miraculous thing happens when you start looking for small moments of gratitude during your day, you start to notice even more! If you know you have to write down 3 things that you appreciated during the day you are going to be searching out more positive experiences in your day than negative. 

Self-Care Sunday checklist

To get the most of your Sunday of Self-Care include your gratitude list as part of a larger checklist to address your whole self. This checklist can include:

  • Gratitude list
  • Physical activity
  • Emotional / mental health check-in
  • Spiritual practice
  • Alone time
  • Nature time

Types of self-care โ€” How to get โ€˜me time' every day and week

Emotional self-care tips

Emotional self-care is the act of validating and accepting your emotions as they are without trying to change them. This includes self-compassion, self-love and acceptance. Here are three tips of how to give yourself emotional self-care.

  1. Put your hand on your heart and say to yourself โ€œmy love you deserve love and affection.
  2. Ask yourself what you would say to a trusted friend who was struggling with the same situation. Often we can find much more compassion for another person than we can for ourselves.
  3. Remind yourself on a daily basis that your feelings matter. This means all your feelings. In order to be a full vibrant person you need to allow all the rainbow of feelings you have (anger, sadness, grief, joy, love, excitement). The more you allow the deeper you love for yourself and your life.

Physical self-care tips

Physical self-care tips require you to connect and treat your body with the immense respect and love it deserves. Here are three tips on how to give yourself physical self-care.

  1. Check in with your body. Wake up in the morning and while you are brushing your teeth ask your body how it feels and wait for the answer. Take a moment to hear beyond the first automatic response of โ€œtiredโ€ or โ€œoverwhelmed.โ€ Listen for physical descriptions of what your actual body feels like. For example, โ€œmy feet feel heavyโ€ or โ€œmy head feels stuffed with air.โ€ Just observing your body (and not even doing anything about it) is a loving gesture to your body.
  2. Rest is an essential self-care tool. Upgrading your sleep setupโ€”think breathable, easy-to-change fitted sheets and zip-close pillowcasesโ€”can make bedtime calmer and enhance your sleep experience so your rest is truly restorative.ย We live in a world where we are told that being productive is the goal. But, we are mammals and we must rest in order to get the most out of our lives. We cannot skimp on rejuvenation or we will burnout. Our nervous systems need time to replenish their energy. How much time are you allowing for replenishing?
  3. Movement of any kind is an important physical self-care tool. Movement is required for our nervous systems to process and discharge the stress response from everyday experiences. Alongside movement, how you hydrate and nourish your cells is vital. While many people turn to high-speed juicing for a quick fix, exploring centrifugal juicer alternatives like slow-masticating juicers can ensure you aren't losing critical enzymes and nutrients to heat and oxidation.

    Pair this with supplements like Omega 3, Magnesium, and brain-ready vitamins from fenixhealthscience.com is a sure-fire way to make sure your body has everything it needs to get through the day.

    We need to allow for the nervous system energy of these powerful reactions to move through our body. Hence, the importance of movement. Movement doesn't have to be exercise. It can be gardening, dancing to your favorite playlist (my go to), rotating your joints or belly laughing really hard.

    Don't underestimate the power of small rituals that help your body cool down and relax. After youโ€™ve moved your body or taken time to rest, even something simple like sipping a chilled drink can help you feel more refreshed. Warrior Willpower ice chillers  bring a cool, calming touch to your favorite beverage and help turn everyday moments into small acts of self-care.

    For deeper at-home recovery, consider adding gentle heat therapy: an infrared sauna can relax tight muscles, support detox through sweat, and promote better sleepโ€”browse infrared saunas for sale to find a compact 1โ€“3 person model that fits your space and Self-Care Sunday routine.

    Prefer a lightโ€‘only option? An LED red light panel delivers nonโ€‘UV red and nearโ€‘infrared wavelengths you can use for 5โ€“10 minutes while you stretch, journal, or hydrateโ€”an easy add to Selfโ€‘Care Sunday that may support skin health, postโ€‘workout recovery, and a calmer mood. Even something as simple as adding a long-lasting eyelash serum to your nighttime routine can be a quiet act of self-investment โ€” one swipe before bed, and you wake up with noticeably fuller, healthier lashes over time.

Also, learn how to feeling sexy at any size.

Hydrating your skin with quality botanical formulas is a beautiful way to practice body acceptance and learn how to feel confident and radiant in your own unique frame.

Spiritual self-care tips

Spiritual self-care involves connecting to the experience that you are not in control of your environment and experience 100% of the time. You do not have to believe in another entity or have a religious affiliation, you simply have to trust that you are not in charge of everything! Here are three tips on how to give yourself spiritual self-care

  1. Meditation. When we hear meditation we often think of a monk sitting on a mountain for days or months at a time in peace. But, actually, meditation is a much subtler form of presence. Meditation is a daily practice of noticing without judgment.

    For example, the next time you are washing the dishes take a moment to notice what it feels like on your hands to be covered in soap or using a sponge. Really feel into the sensations of the water temperature, the smell of the dish soap and the texture of the dishes. Observing with a non-judgmental curious eye allows you to take your judgment, ego and opinion out of your experience. This is a practice that when done over time has a profound experience on your day-to-day perspective.
  2. Find your people. We are social beings. We evolved to connect to stay safe and multiply. No matter how much you have been hurt by others in the past, you need others to survive. The key is to find your people, not the people you default to being with, but people you choose. Read: Apps for finding friends and meeting new people

    Write a list of the top 3 things you want out of a friend and allow yourself to dream big. Think about what you need when you are struggling and the type of support you crave. Now start looking for friends like that and do not settle. You deserve the love and support you desire. 8 best spiritual dating apps
  3. Control Exercise. We all like to think we have control over a lot of our life because it helps us feel safer, but really we only have control over our behavior. So, take out a piece of paper and write a line down the middle.
    On the left side write a heading that says โ€œthings I cannot controlโ€ and on the right side write โ€œThings I can control.โ€ Now getting writing.

    Your kids' response to your ex when you drop them off: You cannot control. Making sure you get enough sleep and water throughout the day: You can control. Make this list every morning so you can set yourself up for success and begin to focus on what will actually move the dial in your life (taking care of you) and releasing what you cannot change (another person).

There are so many benefits to practicing self-care. By making these tools part of your daily routine you will be able to show up fully for yourself and others. Imagine if the next time you tackled a stressful activity you felt filled-up and cared for. You can make that happen by following these steps.

What is self-care?

Self-care is self-protection. This means that engaging in behaviors that are kind and loving that require you to take care of yourself first protects you from pain, heartbreak, exhaustion or poor mental or physical health.

Whether you can stand the idea of relinquishing control of your children to an ex you dislike, loathe or hate, you likely do not have a choice.

Shared parenting legislation was introduced in more than half of states last year, and as science, media and general common sense infiltrates family court and culture, there has been an incredibly positive movement towards it.

Even if the kids are with you a majority of the time, there is a lot you can do to promote a family culture of equality and harmony.

Emmaโ€™s quick take on these 31 co-parenting tips:

Working with a therapist (opposed to an expensive lawyer), can help. Online therapists specializing in mediation, divorce, coparenting or couples are a great option for coparents, as the process is very affordable, anonymous, convenient (you connect via video, phone or text), and you donโ€™t have to be in the same room as your ex!

Continue reading our full list of 31 co-parenting tips to make shared custody successful. Here are the big themes to keep in mind when navigating co-parenting:

  • Both parents have equal rights and equal responsibilities for parenting 
  • Communication is key. If you canโ€™t communicate well, just keep it to the bare minimum
  • Get over old ideas that divorce, breakups and co-parenting have to be contentious
  • You donโ€™t have to be friends with your co-parent to be a successful co-parent. It is OK if you donโ€™t like each other 
  • Keep the kids out of the middle (you know that)

Out now from Sourcebooks:

The 50/50 Solution: The Surprisingly Simple Choice that Makes Moms, Dads, and Kids Happier and Healthier after a Split

by Emma Johnson

Cover of The 50/50 Solution book by Emma Johnson.

Featured in Newsweek, MSN, Slate.

Co-parenting tips: The basics

  1. Establish co-parenting rules
  2. Trust, not control your ex
  3. Shared parenting is about gender equality
  4. Even after divorce: coparent as a team
  5. Recognize your own role in conflict
  6. Protect the kids after divorce or separation
  7. Choose carefully words you use for your kidsโ€™ homes, and their dad
  8. Tell your kids happy stories about their dad
  9. Keep coparenting communication open and frequent
  10. Have family meetings with your ex
  11. Set up a co parenting calendar โ€” download an app
  12. Consider co-parenting counseling
  13. Consider co-parenting classes
  14. Get your ex involved, if he isnโ€™t
  15. Invite your ex to birthday parties
  16. Cooperate with your ex on holidays
  17. Stay involved with your ex-in-laws
  18. Support your exโ€™s new girlfriend or wife
  19. Let him fail.
  20. Celebrate the kids with him
  21. Respect your co-parent
  22. Support your kidsโ€™ dadโ€™s parenting
  23. Say yes more than you say no (if you can)
  24. Please and thank you
  25.  Donโ€™t keep score of stuff
  26. Let the kids see you speaking well of one another โ€” to one another
  27. Careful with your new boyfriend on social media
  28. Move on after divorce
  29. Always always be the bigger person.
  30. Accept that you donโ€™t have to force the relationship.
  31. Be patient.

Co-parenting tips: The basics

1. Establish co-parenting rules

  • Respect that each co-parent is equal.
  • Both parents are equally responsible for the children, including 50-50 parenting schedules.
  • Appreciate that both parents bring unique qualities, friends and family members to the childโ€™s life and development.
  • The nature or reason of the parentsโ€™ breakup or divorce is irrelevant to the co-parenting relationship.
  • Each parentโ€™s extended families are equally important.
  • Both partners can manage their romantic lives as they prefer, without input from the coparent.

2. Trust, not control your ex

A man and woman choosing a colored sticker. The following are 31 co-parenting tips to make shared custody a success. Check them out.

The big, overarching theme in successful, harmonious co-parenting is that both partners respect the other to be a safe, decent parent when the other is not around.

If you truly believe that your kidsโ€™ other parent is unsafe, then you need to take legal action to minimize contact. Otherwise, you are the controlling ex that your co-parent must navigate. Donโ€™t be the controlling ex!

Which brings me to the big point about shared parenting: If a parent is deemed safe to be with the kids 10 percent of the time, they are then safe to be with them 30 or 50 or 80 or even 100 percent of the time.

That means that you do not try to control what happens at the other parentโ€™s house.

Maybe he is the fun weekend dad, all the time, and you prefer children have structure, chores and downtime.

He is a strict vegan and never allows sugar, carbs or produce grown outside of the county. You think kids need animal protein and the occasional cookie.

You have to let that go.

Do not call all the time to check in on the kids, or chat with them. Do not ask to take the kids more in the name of doing something special with them. Honor that his scheduled time belongs to the kids.

The beauty of successful shared parenting is that once you trust each other and learn to communicate, you are more likely to peacefully negotiate differences for the sake of everyoneโ€™s best interests and stop being that toxic parent.

Says Elizabeth:

โ€œMy ex and I started to co-parent amazingly once I let go of trying to control the situation, let him parent the way he wants to parent, be understanding when he was late, and ignore the clothes never being returned. Once you take the pressure off, the tension eases and you can start to bond and connect better.โ€

3. Shared parenting is about gender equality

A husband and wife, each one carrying a baby. Read about these 31 co-parenting tips to make shared custody a success.

Accept that men and women are equal โ€” including that mothers and fathers are equal parents.

Our culture does not support that idea. Women are told since birth that we are the superior parents, and that our greatest calling is to be a mother.

Men are told that their contribution to family life is as the breadwinner.

Family courts support this sexist culture, by overwhelmingly ruling that mothers have primary custody, and men pay child support.

This model perpetuates gender stereotypes.

By equally sharing parenting responsibilities, and the cost of raising children, you are not only doing what is best for your children, you also model healthy coparenting for others who are watching you, changing our culture, our world, and informing family courts for other families.

Healthy co-parenting is activism. Thank you for your work!

Learn more in 11 surprising facts about equal shared parenting

4. Even after divorce: coparent as a team

Focus on parenting as a team.

Ask his advice about behavior issues.

Do not allow the kids to pit one of you against the other, and never vie for the position as favorite parent.

As one member of my Millionaire Single Moms Facebook group said:

โ€œIn parenting, there is no good-cop / bad-cop. Sometimes we are both the bad cop.โ€ 

Iโ€™ll add: And you both get to be the good cop!

This co-parenting rule includes: Do not ask children to weigh in on adult decisions. This includes time-sharing, resolving any disputes over holiday schedules, or other issues that are for parents. Over-empowering children to make adult decisions in divorced families is the hallmark of parental alienation, which is the most common reason a parent is no not involved with their child.

5. Recognize your own role in conflict

How do you respond when your ex irritates you? Are you always prompt in responding to your kidsโ€™ other parent? Do you bring up old fights? Try to resolve past hurts? Punish him?

Do you grill your kids about their visit when they return from their other parentโ€™s home? Fish around for information about a new boyfriend or girlfriend? Internally, do you compare your new, post-divorce life to your exโ€™s? Measure who is โ€œdoing better?โ€

Do you โ€” even once in a while, passive-aggressively โ€” make negative comments about your kidsโ€™ mom/dad? Their other grandparents?

The good news is that you are not alone, and you are a normal human.

No co-parent is perfect, and if someone tells you that they are not guilty of at least a few transgressions, they are liars / in total denial.

The other good news is that you can heal the past wounds that have led you here. In fact, take these co-parenting mistakes as an opportunity to recognize where you may have room to grow.

You may be surprised to find that when you focus on your own part of any co-parenting conflict, the whole relationship changes. This may include changing your own behavior, as well as setting stronger co-parenting boundaries and not accepting the other personโ€™s poor behavior.

You are powerful!

Positive Parenting Program review โ€” is this online class worth it?

Co-parenting tips: Focus on the kids

6. Protect the kids after divorce or separation

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If things are tense between you, keep the focus of any must-have interaction on the kids. 

If you are going through divorce now, consider low-conflict options like mediation, collaborative divorce, or file for divorce yourself online. There are a number of quality, online divorce services that will help you file for divorce online.

7. Choose carefully words you use for your kidsโ€™ homes, and their dad

A man forehead to forehead with a child. Read about these 31 co-parenting tips to make shared custody a success.

The kids have two homes โ€” use pronouns accordingly.

When communicating with him, use โ€˜your houseโ€™ and โ€˜my houseโ€™ โ€ฆ not โ€˜Home,โ€™ as in โ€˜When will you bring the kids home?โ€™

It doesnโ€™t matter how much time each parent has with the kids, keep these pronouns neutral.

That goes for the language you use with your kids, too. โ€œDaddyโ€™s houseโ€ and โ€œmommyโ€™s houseโ€ โ€” not โ€œyour dadโ€™s houseโ€ and โ€œhome.โ€

Similarly, watch your mouth re: what you call your kidsโ€™ dad โ€” even when speaking with other people.

From Maggie: โ€œChange your own thinking by reframing what your relationship is with him in your head. โ€˜My childโ€™s other parent,โ€™ instead of โ€˜my ex.'โ€

8. Tell your kids happy stories about their dad

A woman talking to her child who's sitting on a kitchen counter. Check out these 31 co-parenting tips to make shared custody a success.

Share positive stories about the other parent with the kids.

Tell them about how you met, or trips you took, or positive qualities about their dad.

This communicates to your children something positive about a person they love, and reconditions you to think differently, and better about your ex.

This shift will infiltrate your energy, vibration, and interaction with him.

When she was 4, my daughter was obsessed with family stories. โ€œMommy, tell me a story about when I was a baby,โ€ sheโ€™ll ask, and Iโ€™d tell her about how once, as a sleeping infant, her laugh broke the pin-drop silence of one of New York Public Libraryโ€™s reading rooms, eliciting a symphony of chuckles. โ€œTell me a story about when you were a little girl,โ€ sheโ€™d say. And I tell her about being 5 and cutting the acres of lawn on my grandparentsโ€™ farm with a riding mower.

I could see her putting together the pieces of my history, the family history, and how the elements come together to help her understand herself.

Then she took it up a notch: โ€œMommy, tell me a story about you and daddy before you were married.โ€

I took a deep breath. I spend a lot of energy on not being bitter about things. I pay attention to where I put my energy โ€” I donโ€™t want to be one of those women still grumbling about some argument with their ex, 30 years after the fact. Sometimes I worry I swing too far in the opposite direction and tuck away memories altogether, afraid that should I pull one โ€” even a funny or sweet or tender one โ€” all the bad ones will come bursting out in a flood of emotion.

But there are so, so many good memories. And I want my children to know those stories because they are also their stories. But more than that, I want them to have a sense of the love that brought their dad and me together, because that is also their love.

And so I told Helena about a road trip her dad and I took when we were dating. We drove from Phoenix to San Diego and on the way home decided it would be fun to play Name That Tune. The key was each of was to whistle a song, and the other would guess. The catch was that I canโ€™t whistle. Iโ€™ve heard there is a genetic defect that makes this so, and I donโ€™t know, but no whistling Dixie for me.

But that didnโ€™t stop us, and so for most of the six-hour drive, we took turns whistling Madonnaโ€™s โ€œLike a Prayerโ€ or David Grayโ€™s โ€œThe Other Sideโ€ or Ray Charlesโ€™s โ€œIโ€™ve Gotta Womanโ€ and when it was my turn Emmanuel would listen very, verrrry carefully and try to guess as I earnestly huffed out a hollow whisper of a melody until we couldnโ€™t take it anymore and would burst out laughing. And then we would start again.

Helena totally understood the hilarity of the story, and teased me about not being able to whistle (incidentally, she learned when she was 2). Then she sat back on the sofa with a satisfied look on her face, and I knew that she really got it โ€” the whole big story is really about her, and that that story is indeed full of love.

Blending families? How to make a blended family work

Co-parenting tips: Communication

9. Keep coparenting communication open and frequent

A man and woman talking, the man holding a child. Check out these 31 co-parenting tips to make shared custody a success.

Some basic rules:

  • Stick to the facts.
  • Respond promptly. You can respond to a text within 12 hours. If you need to think about something, do research or otherwise need to figure something out, let your kidsโ€™ other parent know that you are working on their request and when they can expect an answer.

Routinely involve him in decisions about the kidsโ€™ child care, school, health, activities โ€” even if he doesnโ€™t attend events and appointments, or pretend to care. Just share anyway.

Respond to his or her text right away. If you donโ€™t have the answer to a question, still respond to confirm you received the request, and tell them when they can expect an answer.

Also: Include in any coparenting agreement a time limit for responding to schedule change requests and other communication, be it 24 or 72 hours. Include in the agreement that if there is no response, the requesting party will assume an affirmative response.

For example, if Jessica asks Omar if he will swap weekends, he will have 48 hours (or whatever their agreement states) to respond. If Omar does not respond, Jessica can safely assume that she is free to change the visitation schedule on the coparenting app or shared Google calendar.

10. Have family meetings with your ex

From Erin: โ€œWe still occasionally have family meetings. It benefits the kids to see that we are on the same page and then everyone gets everything out at once.โ€

A quality couples or family therapist can help facilitate the conversation, defuse conflict, and help establish co-parenting boundaries. Read our BetterHelp review to learn more about our No. 1 online therapy app.

11. Set up a co parenting calendar โ€” download an app

You can do this with Google calendar, or as part of a co-parenting app like Our Family Wizard, whose parent company Avirat Inc has an A+ rating from the Better Business Bureau. This can be a life-changing exercise to keep track of visitation schedules, kidsโ€™ activities, the millions of half-days off school, and to negotiate schedule changes. Check out my review of Our Family Wizard here.

For co-parenting schedules, expense sharing, and more co-parenting apps can be a handy, low-cost (or free!) way to make co-parenting easy, plus create a document to help resolve any conflict quickly.

Coparenting apps help all parties involved streamline the logistical issues that can create confusion and conflict:

  • Create and share a single calendar
  • Document cost-sharing
  • Keep and share contact and other info (grandparents, pediatrician, and babysitter contacts, medical info) in one convenient place
  • Creating systems for changing visits, coordinating extracurriculars, school days off and all the other complications (and joys!) of raising children
  • Share all this info with other caregivers like relatives, neighbors, coaches, nannies and babysitters, and the kids themselves!

12. Consider co-parenting counseling

If you and your ex are having trouble getting along, consider co-parent counseling. This is just what it sounds like: getting a trained therapist to help the two of you become the best parents you can be โ€” even if you're not in a romantic relationship.

This is great for your kids, obviously. But itโ€™s also good for the two of you. Life is too short to hang on to anger, or to grief. Counseling can help you move on.

Similar to family meetings, many parents who live separately find it helpful to meet with an objective, professional third-party to work though co-parenting challenges, as well as everyday parenting woes. Does your kid struggle with anxiety, depression, an eating disorder, social or academic challenges? Is your ex passive-aggressive, toxic, abusive or otherwise uncooperative?

Online therapy is a great option for coparents. These platforms are anonymous, much lower-cost than in-person counseling, and because you connect via phone, video, text or email, you donโ€™t have to be in the same room as your ex!

13. Consider co-parenting classes

Your family courts system likely offers co-parenting classes for free or an affordable rate. Even if you are not required by your parenting plan or a judge to take a co-parenting course, an online class for parents dealing with divorce or high-conflict have reported enormous benefits to their relationship with each other, and better outcomes for their kids.

Positive Parenting Solutions offers very affordable online co-parenting classes, as well as those for families with kids and divorce, as well as high-conflict relationships. Get $20 off with code WSM20 >>

Where to find parenting classes โ€œnear meโ€

7 benefits of parenting classes and where to find them

Co-parenting tips: Dealing with your ex

14. Get your ex involved, if he isnโ€™t

If your ex isn't currently involved in your child's life and youโ€™d like him to be, realize thereโ€™s a chance you may not be able to change his mind. But a good first step is to talk with him about why his involvement in your childโ€™s life is important. 

Anandhi Narasimhan, a Los Angeles child and adult psychiatrist, suggests finding ways to facilitate interactions, like letting your ex know about upcoming recitals, games, or other activities. Meeting halfway if your ex lives far away can also encourage him to be more involved. 

โ€œUltimately though, there may also have to be some acceptance if the other parent does not engage repeatedly and does not express any interest in doing so,โ€ she says. โ€œProviding the child with other sources of support can be helpful to minimize hurt caused by an absentee parent.โ€

Check out our post for advice about how to successfully co-parent with an ex.

15. Invite your ex to birthday parties

A man and a woman bowing a cake with a baby in their center, smiling. Learn more about 31 co-parenting tips to make shared custody a success.

Invite him to birthday or graduation parties you throw for the kids.

You can also ask him to participate in the planning, to bring the cake or otherwise be involved.

16. Cooperate with your ex on holidays

Buy him a holiday and birthday gift on behalf of the kids. Be generous with the holiday coparenting schedule.

17. Stay involved with your ex-in-laws

Stay connected to his family and friends.

Send them holiday cards and invite them to school, sports and birthday events.

Better yet, in the case of a dispute, just let him take the kids for the holiday.

18. Support your exโ€™s new girlfriend or wife

Two women talking. The other one holding a drink. Check on these 31 co-parenting tips to make shared custody a success.

Be positive about any romantic partners in his life โ€” both to the kids and to him.

It doesnโ€™t matter if you like your kidsโ€™ new stepmom or whether she was the affair partner.

19. Let him fail.

There is a fine line between being supportive and co-dependent.

Ultimately, he is responsible for being the best father he can.

I have heard moms say they schedule fun activities for their kidsโ€™ dad to do with โ€œbecause I love my kids and want them to have fun weekends.โ€

That is actually controlling and co-dependent and doesnโ€™t work in a coparenting relationship.

20. Celebrate the kids with him

Share the kidsโ€™ successes with him: Screenshot good grades on homework or cute craft projects, and send him pics or videos from sports events he misses โ€“ and not in a passive-aggressive way to punish him for not being there.

Co-parenting tips: Advice for you

21. Respect your co-parent

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31 co-parenting tips to make shared custody a success.

When he makes a suggestion or request about parenting, listen and follow it unless you actually really object.

22. Support your kidsโ€™ dadโ€™s parenting

A family in the kitchen, the man cooking while the woman and kid are watching. These are 31 co-parenting tips to make shared custody a success. Check them out.

Think about what you can do to help the other parent win at parenting.

These might include daily reminders, scheduling and planning emails, or follow-up phone calls.

Do it from a place of love and unity, and without being condescending!

However, this can be a fine line. If your other parent over-depends on you, establish those boundaries, inform your co-parent of what you are willing to do, and not do, and then stick to your word.

23. Say yes more than you say no (if you can)

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Say โ€˜yesโ€™ as very often as you possibly can when he asks for flexibility in the schedule. 

24. Please and thank you

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Thank him when he is flexible with you, no matter how much more of the work you know you do.

25. Donโ€™t keep score of stuff

A man and a woman checking out clothes from the closet. Learn these 31 co-parenting tips to make shared custody a success.

Let go of the, โ€˜I bought those clothes so they stay at my house.โ€™

If youโ€™re running short on certain items, just ask that enough be returned when you are running low, and pay back that favor.

26. Let the kids see you speaking well of one another โ€” to one another

Give him a compliment. Do it in front of the kids.

It is so important for your kids to hear nice things about YOU โ€” if your ex is not the person, find someone who is:

In the past few weeks I had really sweet experiences with friendsโ€™ paying lovely compliments to me via my kids.

Like last night when my neighbors came for dinner with their new baby, and over stew and winter salad Helena complained how her mom (that would be me) yelled at her in the mornings. โ€œWell,โ€ my friend said. โ€œWhen I see how bright and funny and well-behaved you and your brother are, I think what a great mom you and Lucas have.โ€ Which shut my kid up real quick-like.

Or a few weeks ago, my oldest friend Amanda visited from St. Louis. While she, the kids and I ate banana apple muffins in the living room on Saturday morning, Amanda told my daughter what a great mom she has, how she has an interesting career and takes them on cool trips and  some other stuff I forget because I was just so touched and grateful for her friendship, but also that there was someone other than me pointing out my finer points to my kids. Marketing experts know that promotion is far more powerful when coming from a credible third party โ€” in this case, someone who is not naggingly demanding respect and gratitude all the live-long day (that would be me).

Which brings up a big question for single moms: For all you do for your kids, who do you have in your life to point out those things to your kid? In a perfect world, each of us might have a spouse or partner who genuinely adores you, and organically displays that adoration through myriad words and gestures. In the absence of such a partner, who puts into perspective for your kids what a great cook, or hard worker, or loving parent you are?

Often, I feel like my kidโ€™s donโ€™t appreciate me as much as I think they should (what can I say, I have an ego โ€” it needs stroking from those I love most!). But then I realize that they are listening all the time. I hear Helena telling her friends: โ€œMy mom is a VERY GOOD writer! And she has a radio show and is on TV!โ€ I realize that she listens when my friends come over and we talk business, and she pays attention when I tell her about my day.

And Lucas goes beyond in his over-exaggerated way to be positive, will say: โ€œMommy, those muffins are looking GOOD!โ€ or โ€œThank you for making movie night.โ€ Maybe it his naturally sunny disposition, or my nightly drilling of gratitude practices or constant โ€œWhat do you say โ€ฆ?โ€ (Acceptable answers: a) Please, b) Thank-you). Or maybe I have nagged my kid into a gratitude stupor that extends to his mother.

27. Careful with your new boyfriend on social media

Refrain from posting social media pics of your new boyfriend with the kids, with the exception of when everyone is really getting along awesome and it truly is NBD.

Otherwise, that is not only counter-productive for co-parenting, but it is mean and targets his manhood on the most primal level. 

More thoughts on when to introduce your new boyfriend to the kids.

28. Move on after divorce

A woman facing the sunset. You can read these 31 co-parenting tips to make shared custody a success here.

Co-parenting advice from single mom Laura: โ€œChange your own mindset about the past/divorce/your heartache.โ€

LET IT GO.

You are coparents now, and it doesnโ€™t matter how you got here, or whose fault it is. Heโ€™s your coparent and childrenโ€™s dad first, opposed to focusing on the fact he is your ex.

His girlfriend or new wife is just that, not his mistress/affair partner. Learn to respect their relationship, even if you donโ€™t like it, or it still hurts.

Staying in a positive mindset about the now is critical for healthy coparenting.

How to heal after divorce

29. Always always be the bigger person.

When you feel the rage coming on, STOP.

Itโ€™s not about you.

Save your energy for the battles that really matter in the long-term.

That said, learn some tactics for dealing with a narcissistic ex, including parallel parenting.

30. Accept that you donโ€™t have to force the relationship.

A man holding a soccer ball and a woman texting. Go on and check these 31 co-parenting tips to make shared custody a success.

You may not want to spend the holidays together or sit on the same bleachers at the kidsโ€™ volleyball match.

That is OK.

31. Be patient.

Take it from me: people change and grow and forgive and mellow. 

Over time, handoffs at the police station can cease and be replaced by shared holiday meals.

Explosive texting can stop and words of support and encouragement can reign. Life is long.