Single, low-income moms are not signing up for child support, and this is a very good thing. Less formal child support means more and improved co-parenting, higher rates of father involvement, better child outcomes and increased gender equality.
This trend makes sense:
Child support laws were created to support divorced mothers who solely raised the children and had far lews earning potential than the divorced dads. Today, the majority of separated families were never married, single moms earn as much as men (or more), equal co-parenting is on a rapid rise, and the majority of eligible participants are just over child support.
Child support has never had any success in its intended goals of equalizing income between parents’ households or improving poverty rates, but it has contributed to fatherlessness, male poverty and family conflict. Anecdotally, I see women holding themselves back professionally and financially to qualify for child support — and then thrive once they let go of that dependence.
Nonetheless, legislators and the public still have the hots for child support, believing more is more. In my state of Virginia, legislators (Democrat) and the governor (Republican) this year passed a bill increasing child support percentages (the Black Caucus opposed it).
On the ground, poor moms are quietly doing away with this broken, toxic program, and it is a beautiful sign of progress. These women are replacing a brokent, expensive, destructive government program with co-parenting and father involvement.
In this post:
- Current child support stats
- Why are poor moms skipping child support?
- Why middle- and upper-class women still enroll in child support
- What real moms are saying about getting off CS
Current child support stats
In the 23 years ended 2022, total child support cases filed through the state dropped by 29%. Rates of poor moms filing for support fell at an even more accelerated rate further while women who are not or have never been on public assistance are more likely than ever to file:
- 74% drop for filers on public assistance
- 42% drop for moms who were formerly on assistance
- 6% increase for moms who were never on assistance
Meanwhile child support compliance has never exceeded 30% in all its history and arrearage totals for the program have grown each year.
Why are poor moms skipping child support?
1. Moms know child support hurts co-parenting
According to a Census survey, moms’ attitudes about child support have shifted to viewing the child support program as frivolous, intrusive and even toxic, and they now extend grace and common sense to their co-parents. Moms also want to retain financial and relationship decisions within their families and keep the government out of their business.
Top reasons cited by parents (80% of child support applicants are women) not filing child support through the state:
