What a gay man really can teach women about sex, dating and love (especially single moms)


Last Friday I laughed harder than I have in a very long time.

That night was the outing when 10 WealthySingleMommy drawing winners gathered as guests of the very nice people at the 777 theater to watch Sex Tips for Straight Women from a Gay Man. The show is a hilarious, interactive affair based on the farcical plot of an up-tight academic, Robyn, who finds herself interviewing Dan, the flaming author of a book (which is actually a real title) called Sex Tips for Straight Women from a Gay Man, while fighting her lust for the Eastern European sound technician Stefan, whose own personal lust is to perform a striptease in outer space.

With a silly, predictable under plot between these two, the main attraction is Dan’s MCing the book’s lessons to Robyn and the audience. The tips involve dressing in a way that is both sexy but not slutty (fitted dress in a bold color; statement necklace; black heels), attracting men in bars with smoky eyes while feigning good times with your friends, and finally, sex techniques. This is where the bachelorette party shenanigans come into full play. Say, blindfolding three women (including one of our party) while instructing them on handjob technique. Or insisting all audience members roll their playbills into a tube and do the same, while Dan pans the crowd with a camera that projects on a giant screen erstwhile participants, including a nattily dressed older gentleman, clearly visiting from out of town with his wife.

Thanks to the champagne beforehand, surrounded by my new single-mom friends, I found myself in fits of laughter at the silliness.


But there was a poignant moment that must be shared here (and no, it was not when Stefan got down to his teeeny weeenie flesh-colored thong on the moon). In a moment of resisting her own urges and Dan’s sexy advice, Robyn turns to the MC and asks: “Why should I, a woman, take dating advice from a gay man?”

To which Dan responded (paraphrasing here):

“All our lives, gay men are told they should ignore their natural urges. Just like women.”

Well, hell. So true. And if gay people and women are suppressed at the hands of a culture that tells them that sexually expressing themselves is wrong, take that all way up a notch or 100 and apply that to mothers — SINGLE MOTHERS IN PARTICULAR.

Single mothers are perhaps the segment of our society most discouraged from expressing our sexuality.


After all, the message to all mothers is:

Put your children first. 

Family should be enough for you. 

Never, under any circumstances, allow your children any hit that you are a sexual woman.

Should be an unmarried mother, forget it. You are discouraged strongly from allowing your children to know that you date, much less meet any man you are not engaged to. If you take a moment away from your children to spend romantic time with a man who is not their father — you are selfishly robbing your children of precious parenting.

All messages which are complete and utter hogwash, as my nine new BFFs and I discussed uproariously over pictures of frozen margaritas at a nearby Mexican joint after the show. These beautiful women are in various stages of single motherhood– veterans in serious relationships, newly single and craving a good lay, those barely out of the hatch and contemplating their next dating move and those of us somewhere in between.

The conversation was an extension of the play’s subject matter, and only highlighted that dating, love and sex for single moms is unchartered territory, with no roadmap, herculean efforts to thwart the world’s attempts to shame us, and tons of fun and joy.


And while I am grateful for the fun times provided by our nice 777 Theater partners, the real highlight was getting together with these other, professional single moms. And I CANNOT wait to host another event, and encourage you to do the same in your city.

Interested in hosting a WealthySingleMommy event in your town? Email me at emma@emma-johnson.net. We need this. Let’s figure this out.

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4 thoughts on “What a gay man really can teach women about sex, dating and love (especially single moms)

  1. Emma! What a great night out! I would LOVE to host a night of karaoke at Japas 55!

    I am available every other Friday night!!!

    xo Lynne Dorner

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