Not a day goes by when I don’t receive an email from a single mom who is starting to think about dating again, but doesn’t.
“It has been so long since I’ve been on a date, I don’t even know where to begin!”
“Everyone tells me there are no good guys out there at this stage – and the few who exist aren’t interested in with women with kids.”
“How do I know I’m ready to date after divorce?”
“I feel like a bad mom for wanting romance in my life.”
“When is it OK to introduce the kids to my boyfriend?”
“I think I just want sex. Does that make me a bad parent?”
I have thought each and every one of these things myself. And I got over every one of them! I have been so grateful for the opportunity to date at this stage of life. Women go through an amazing sexual awakening when they become mothers. I happened to also find myself single at the same time I became a mom, which also happened to coincide with coming into my own professionally.
The result has been an amazing journey of dating, romance, finding love, learning about myself and some really awesome sex.
Dating as a single mom can be a completely liberating experience. When I last dated in my 20s, I was looking for a husband and a father for my unborn children. I am very content with my two healthy monkeys, and no longer suffer the pressure of a ticking biological clock. This is something that really resonates with single moms:
Not sure dating is right for you, single mom?
It took me a couple of years to even remember that I was a sexual woman. Read my journey to this stage of life in Why women feel sexier after divorce.
Read my manifesto, 9 reasons dating is better as a single mom, about how dating as a single mom can be the best romantic experience of your life.
Not sure what your type is any more?
Read this post about my fling with a very sexy alpha Sicilian guy – completely not my type (or was he?). This guy changed how I thought about myself, and dating in general.
But how will you get out of the house and date when you have kids?
It’s not always easy, but it’s usually really fun. Read: Dating as a single mom is the same as dating as a teenager.
I feel like a filthy whore for wanting a sex life. Doesn’t this set a bad example for my kids?
No. Just: no, no, no, no, no! Your sexuality is key to your well-being as a woman, and therefor a mother. Listen to the podcast of my radio show to learn how to break through this shame.
I met an awesome guy, but worry my kids will be traumatized if I introduce them too soon. When’s the right time?
This is one of the most common questions I get from single moms. My answer may surprise you – and liberate you! Read this fun conversation with my single-mom BFF in this article.
I just had my first post-divorce breakup and I’m destroyed. Now what?
The pain of the first relationship after your marriage ends can be more painful than divorce. I share my own experience this post: Post-divorce rebound—A requisite heart pummeling. I also explain the phenomenon in Why post-divorce rebound breakups hurt so damn bad (and are totally different and way worse than a regular breakup).
I have so many hangups about men. I worry I will pass these on to my kids.
I have plenty of hangups around men and dating. I am so grateful I have the opportunity to date and work through them—a practice that benefits my whole family. I wrote this essay – a letter to my little daughter – as a way to stem the shame I felt about my appearance after dating a man who made me feel ugly
What’s the point of even trying to date. I don’t know any happily remarried single moms.
I do! Check out these amazing stories of single moms who dated around for years— before finding and marrying amazing loves.