#LikeAMother Farnoosh Torabi and why breadwinning women make relationships so damn hard


In being so open about my romantic life and divorce, people — strangers, even — often confess to me the very personal, dirty details about their own personal lives. One big theme I hear again and again: Women frustrated with their husbands, whom they feel do not pull their weight around the house or with the kids. Then, in an angry whisper, she will lean in and snarl: “And I make all the money!”

That is what is happening, people: Women — yay us! — are getting ahead, winning professional success and the money that comes with it. As we close that wage gap, more and more women are earning more than their man. And cheating, conflict and divorce ensue. In fact, marriages are 50 percent more likely to end in the even that the woman earns more than her husband. Fact.

Today’s guest, my friend personal finance journalist Farnoosh Torabi, geniusly wrote a whole book addressing this phenomenon head-on: the bestseller When She Makes More: 10 Rules for Breadwinning Women. Torabi, host of the So Money with Farnoosh Torabi podcast, is in her own marriage a breadwinning wife. Today she joins me as we dish about:

  • Why it is so important to address, head-on, the very real challenges in romantic relationships when the woman earns more than the man.
  • Practical solutions for resolving
  • We dissect a New York magazine story quote in which a breadwinning woman said: “I’m not going to pay the bills and then come home and suck his dick.” (Is it that fellatio is inherently a passive act? Or that women are simply not sexually attracted to beta men? Discuss.)
  • The alarming statistic that women are most likely to drop out of the workforce at the point their salaries are about to eclipse their husbands’ — highlighting the very real threat that position posses to marriages, and the subtle and unconscious ways that women hold themselves back professionally and financially.

“It’s not politically correct for a man to say: ‘I’m emasculated by my wife earning more.’ If we don’t address it head-on, marriages end up in divorce,” Farnoosh says. “Even though I make more, does not mean I make all the decisions. I don’t want all that responsibility!”




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Emma Johnson is a veteran money writer, noted blogger, bestselling author and an host of the award-winning podcast, Like a Mother with Emma Johnson. A former Associated Press Financial Wire reporter and MSN Money columnist, Emma has written for the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Glamour, Oprah.com, REAL SIMPLE, Parenting, USA Today and others.

The Kickass Single Mom: Be Financially Independent, Discover Your Sexiest Self, and Raise Fabulous, Happy Children (Penguin, 2017), was a #1 bestseller and was featured in hundreds of media, including The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Fox & Friends, Oprah.com and the New York Post, which named it to its ‘Must Read” list.

Her popular blog Wealthysinglemommy.com, and podcast Like a Mother, explore issues facing professional single moms: business and career, money, sex, relationships and parenting. Emma regularly comments on these topics for outlets such as CNN, Headline News, New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Fox & Friends, CNBC, NPR, TIME, MONEY, O, The Oprah Magazine, Woman’s Day, The Doctors, and many more. She was named Parents magazine’s “Best of the Web,” one of “20 Personal Finance Influencers to Follow on Twitter” by AOL DailyFinance, “Top 15 Personal Finance Podcasts” by U.S. News, and “Most Eligible New Yorkers” by New York Observer.

A popular speaker on gender equality, Emma presented at the United Nations Summit for Gender Equality.

Emma grew up in Sycamore, Ill., and lives in New York City with her children.

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