In being so open about my romantic life and divorce, people — strangers, even — often confess to me the very personal, dirty details about their own personal lives. One big theme I hear again and again: Women frustrated with their husbands, whom they feel do not pull their weight around the house or with the kids. Then, in an angry whisper, she will lean in and snarl: “And I make all the money!”
That is what is happening, people: Women — yay us! — are getting ahead, winning professional success and the money that comes with it. As we close that wage gap, more and more women are earning more than their man. And cheating, conflict and divorce ensue. In fact, marriages are 50 percent more likely to end in the even that the woman earns more than her husband. Fact.
Today’s guest, my friend personal finance journalist Farnoosh Torabi, geniusly wrote a whole book addressing this phenomenon head-on: the bestseller When She Makes More: 10 Rules for Breadwinning Women. Torabi, host of the So Money with Farnoosh Torabi podcast, is in her own marriage a breadwinning wife. Today she joins me as we dish about:
- Why it is so important to address, head-on, the very real challenges in romantic relationships when the woman earns more than the man.
- Practical solutions for resolving
- We dissect a New York magazine story quote in which a breadwinning woman said: “I’m not going to pay the bills and then come home and suck his dick.” (Is it that fellatio is inherently a passive act? Or that women are simply not sexually attracted to beta men? Discuss.)
- The alarming statistic that women are most likely to drop out of the workforce at the point their salaries are about to eclipse their husbands’ — highlighting the very real threat that position posses to marriages, and the subtle and unconscious ways that women hold themselves back professionally and financially.
“It’s not politically correct for a man to say: ‘I’m emasculated by my wife earning more.’ If we don’t address it head-on, marriages end up in divorce,” Farnoosh says. “Even though I make more, does not mean I make all the decisions. I don’t want all that responsibility!”