Do you need new friends?
Who you surround yourself with matters. Science is on my side with this. If your friends smoke, you are more likely to smoke. If your friends are overweight, you are likely, too. Divorced? Your friends are next!
I have started to see people in one of two camps:
- Victims who give their power and ability to be happy away to others by blaming the world for their own shortcomings.
- Everyone else.
I just don’t have time for victims. They are on a different course. That is fine, but I don’t want to hang out with you. I don’t want to do business with you, and I don’t think you’re a good influence for my kids.
And so I don’t call my old friend. I see her around, and she is a nice and good person. I wish her the best. But she kills my mojo. Call me sensitive, I don’t care. There are too many other awesome people who will are in my camp, living full lives and taking responsibility for their happiness.
If you have that toxic friend, that single mom friend — even if she is the only other single mom in your own town! — it is OK to distance yourself from her. You will be kind, but it may be painful for both of you. But doing so is a gift to yourself. By saying ‘no’ to that friendship you are telling yourself: “I am a positive person who is capable great things, and manifesting my own greatness!”
You can’t keep that truth alive if you spend energy on others who suck yours.
Even other single moms.
This is one of the reasons I created Millionaire Single Moms, my Facebook group of 1,000 moms who are DREAMING BIG for their lives, and are FORBIDDEN from whining or playing victim. These are my women! Some have huge corporate jobs, others are hustling as they start new businesses, others transitioning from staying home with their kids back into the workforce — and everything in between. But they are positive, smart, real and, generally so awesome.
Just today a new member wrote:
I was excited to see this group because, locally, all the single mom groups have very low expectations for themselves. They seem to be more about how they can get everything from everyone else instead of going out and getting it themselves. This is refreshing!
Today I give you permission to shed from your life toxic people. I also invite you to join our group of awesome people — Awesome single moms, to be exact!
Emma Johnson is a veteran money writer, noted blogger, bestselling author and an host of the award-winning podcast, Like a Mother with Emma Johnson. A former Associated Press Financial Wire reporter and MSN Money columnist, Emma has written for the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Glamour, Oprah.com, REAL SIMPLE, Parenting, USA Today and others.
The Kickass Single Mom: Be Financially Independent, Discover Your Sexiest Self, and Raise Fabulous, Happy Children (Penguin, 2017), was a #1 bestseller and was featured in hundreds of media, including The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Fox & Friends, Oprah.com and the New York Post, which named it to its ‘Must Read” list.
Her popular blog Wealthysinglemommy.com, and podcast Like a Mother, explore issues facing professional single moms: business and career, money, sex, relationships and parenting. Emma regularly comments on these topics for outlets such as CNN, Headline News, New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Fox & Friends, CNBC, NPR, TIME, MONEY, O, The Oprah Magazine, Woman’s Day, The Doctors, and many more. She was named Parents magazine’s “Best of the Web,” one of “20 Personal Finance Influencers to Follow on Twitter” by AOL DailyFinance, “Top 15 Personal Finance Podcasts” by U.S. News, and “Most Eligible New Yorkers” by New York Observer.
A popular speaker on gender equality, Emma presented at the United Nations Summit for Gender Equality.
Emma grew up in Sycamore, Ill., and lives in New York City with her children.