#FirstWorldFriday: A tummy bug gave me an existential crisis

first world problem tears

This is First World Fridays #FWF (check out the first FWF here) where I share the frivolous stuff that I allow to occupy my mind, and I turn it into an expression of gratitude. Please do it the same – in the comments, Facebook, Twitter, privately within yourself. Tag it #FWF (yes, I’m asking you to tag your silent prayers) and let’s start a revolution!

My #FWF: Well, to start, I am writing a FirstWorldFriday on Sunday (in case you didn’t notice). I have a good reason: a note from myself (cuz I’m the mom) explaining I was dog-sick last week. Some weird stomach bug that had me in bed for four days. I’ll spare you the details.

But I will share the net results. As I lay in bed clutching my stomach and praying I made it to the can in time, aching from head to toe, I started to have serious worries. What if this was very serious? Who would take care of the kids? And assuming it was not serious, what if I do become sick with something serious — who would take care of the kids? And while we’re at it, I could really use some more help with the kids. Because lately I feel like they need so much more than I can give them. And while we’re at that I really need more myself. While I lay there in my own cold sweat all I could think about was how good it would feel on a zillion different levels if there was some guy there to go to the store and pick up some seltzer and Imodium and cue up Mad Men and give me a goddamn hug. 

And if things are this scary now with what is probably not a serious illness, I thought, what kind off mom am I that I have created only this very fragile ecosystem for my children that is so overly dependent on me. That is messed up and I felt really, really bad about it.



  • On Friday afternoon, the fever broke and I felt confident I could head to the bus stop without danger of disaster.
  • I’m normally really healthy.
  • I live in a country where I have access to probably too much health care and even if something were seriously wrong, there is a very good chance that it would be fixed.
  • On Thursday our friend and former nanny Karen came for a scheduled dinner and when all I could do is lay down in my dark room and close my eyes and fret about the future of my family she happily gave the kids baths and read them books and gave them a banana and read to them from her journal from when she was their babysitter years ago and shared memories of them as babies. And I cannot think of a more loving thing.
  • Not gonna lie: I lost 7 lbs in four days and I’m pretty happy about that.

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3 thoughts on “#FirstWorldFriday: A tummy bug gave me an existential crisis

  1. Weight loss during illness is about the only plus. No motivation needed to stay away from the chocolate, cookies, and candy as that sour belly takes care of everything. Glad your better.

    The new header on the site looks nice. I’ve been away a week, and everything’s changed.

  2. I think a lot of single moms are in a similar boat.
    Including me.

    This is why I have a mile long “in case of emergencies” list of people at the day care.
    Several of my friends have keys to my house.
    I keep reminding several of my friends throughout the year that they are on the emergency list and to be ready.

    What I really need/want to do:
    Make a list of all my “in case of emergencies” contacts, addresses, names, phones, and indicate who has a key and who doesn’t and what to do/who to contact in such said emergency.

    Also – SO SO grateful to my friend/s who came to pick up my son when I was sick and watched him for a day, until I felt better.

    And this is another reason I stress the importance of a strong support network for ALL single moms.
    We can juggle the day to day, but there are times (and we need to be prepared for them) when we just wouldn’t be able to. And we all will need help at that time.
    And the time emergency happens – is not the time to be looking for whom to turn to.

    This is why I am working on establishing and strengthening my support network.
    Not having any family around – all I can rely on is friends and babysitters.

    Glad you’re well.

    I am convinced that the worst time EVER – is when you’re sick AND the kid/s are sick!

    1. Agree to all of the above – creating that support network is so important!! It takes work, and cannot be taken for granted. Networks don’t create themselves.

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