Parenting
Why “Nothing personal, but I don’t want to date a single mom” is totally personal
Way back at the beginning of my single mom dating shenanigans I fell in love with an older man. My kids were 1 and 3, his were in college. A few months in, I broke it off over a boozy Italian dinner. “Face it,” I said. “You don’t want to be running around with little…
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Stop calling your kids all the time when they’re with their dad
Do you talk to your kids every day when they are with their dad? Why? Or why not? How does this fit into your co-parenting rules and boundaries? Is it harder to co-parent with a difficult ex? My kids are halfway through a 2.5 week trip to Europe with their dad, visiting his family there.…
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The benefits of dating single dads
A few years ago, I went out a couple of times with a single dad whose daughter happens to be the same age as mine. We spent our first date talking about our kids and the challenges of parenting — and realizing we have a lot in common. For example, we both feel perfectly satisfied…
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Facebook is my babydaddy
I don’t have a husband. I have Facebook. As a single mom, there are lots and lots of things that I can handle really, really well. I run the house, make all the meals (mostly from scratch, I’m proud to say). I own a small business that does well enough to support us – with…
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A letter to my beautiful, beautiful, beautiful daughter
Originally posted 2013 Dear Helena, One day when you were a baby, Aunt Tina and I were smooching all over you. After all, what’s better than kissing a baby – all that smooth, perfect skin, those rolls of fat, all that love that just oozes out of them? Kisses and kisses and kisses. “We’re giving…
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Co-parenting rules—even with a difficult ex
It is not divorce or separated families that harms children — but conflict between parents, which studies have found leads to fathers being marginalized in the family, and distancing themselves partly or completely from the kids’ lives. Together, we can work to stop that from happening, and promote co-parenting — no matter how many hours…
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Why single moms don’t get to celebrate Father’s Day
Plenty of memes going around Facebook giving Father’s Day shout-outs to single moms who “do it all.” Make your way down the card isle and you will come across Hallmark’s cards, they have a half-dozen designed celebrating moms on this day. Cards read: “Happy Father’s Day, Mom!” “Mom: You’re the best! Thanks for being both…
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Stockpile Review: Give the gift of stock
Are you tired of giving the kids in your life useless gifts that end up in the trash? Would you rather help them learn valuable financial and investing lessons that can last a lifetime? If so, check out Stockpile — an innovative investing platform that lets you purchase stock gift cards that represent fractional shares…
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Affordable life insurance for moms
Here’s the thing with life insurance for moms: You know you’re supposed to have it, but you probably don’t because you think it is not affordable. Guilt and stress ensue. Ain’t nobody got time for that! Mama, you’re not alone … A recent survey found that 69% of single-parent households with kids at home are without…
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Shared parenting research (is it really best for kids?)
First, let’s establish this right away: Shared parenting isn’t right for families where one parent struggles with addiction, there is a history of violence or abuse, or severe mental illness. As of April, 2018 Kentucky became the first state in the country with a “legal presumption” for joint custody in divorce proceedings. That means that when you…
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The Single Mom Book List | What every single mom should be reading right now!
Readers are leaders! Whatever your single-mom related questions, issues, joys or challenges are, there is a single mom book for it. In fact, I wrote a book for you, too! Here is my list of vetted titles of books for single mothers, designed for you in whatever state of your journey, in no particular order……
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What to tell your kid when their dad is not involved
Dear Emma, When my daughter was six months old, her dad left and more or less never showed up again. There were a few visits for a few years, and a couple of visits to family court for child support, but since then we have not heard or seen from him. My daughter is now 8…
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I don’t live for my kids — that is my biggest gift to them
I recently overheard a mother proudly declare: “I live for my daughter.” Too bad for that little girl. And too bad for the mom. “My kids are my world.” Parents who make their children the center of their universes mess up their kids, mess up themselves, and in the case of single parents — make…
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Easy trick to forgive your ex (and anyone else you’re angry at)
Ever feel like your beef with someone – maybe with an ex, or even a friend or a boss – is getting to your head? Maybe you feel the negative effects of a grudge sending you spinning, weighing you down. I’ll admit it. I have a very active mental life, emotional life, creative life,…
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Parental alienation information center
I have written extensively on the importance of the movement towards shared parenting. There are 55-peer reviewed studies that prove that shared parenting is best for children in separated and divorced families — when time is split approximately equally between homes — including in high-conflict situations. Very closely related is the recognition by courts and…
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If you’re thinking of being a single mom
Are you a single mom? Single mom by choice? What advice do you give women thinking of having a baby on her own? Not a week goes by that I don’t find myself in conversation with a childless woman in her 30s worried about whether to have kids, wondering about being a single mom. The…
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Single mom holiday manifesto
I wrote this a couple of years ago, and revisit each holiday season for both myself and readers. I admit that the holidays are hard for me personally — so much pressure to make them memorable, spend more than I’m inclined to, and be cheerful when I often feel lonely and overwhelmed. Last year was first…
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How Millennials are redefining single motherhood
Like every generation in recent history, Millennials are redefining parenthood — and one of the most dramatic shifts is the rise of single motherhood among new moms. Meta trends around women in 2017 are intertwined with the recent surge in the number of single mothers in recent decades. A full 64 percent of Millennial moms report having…
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“Don’t cry for me, I’m a black single mother”
Photo credit: J. Ballet This is a guest post by Shana Swain. Shana is a full-time mother, bartender, and freelance writer. She contributes to the Huffington Post and the Lowcountry Herald, and her personal blog is Feedmetipme.wordpress.com Boiling tears scalded my cheeks as I tried to swallow nausea to brush my teeth. The reflection in the…
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Who tells single moms’ kids nice things about their mom?
In the past few weeks I had really sweet experiences with friends’ paying lovely compliments to me via my kids. Like last night when my neighbors came for dinner with their new baby, and over stew and winter salad Helena complained how her mom (that would be me) yelled at her in the mornings. “Well,” my friend…
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