There is no such thing as a married single mom

married single mom

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Who gets to call themselves a single mom?

5 friends every single mom needs

Why it can be so hard to find other professional, successful single moms

In the above, I share how so many married women want to join my online support groups for single moms. I get why, even though that is insane. After all, like you, anecdotally, I don’t know so many really happy marriages, and scholars have found the same. Per Rebecca Traister’s very excellent bestselling All The Single Ladies:

Psychologist Ty Tashiro suggested in a 2014 book that only three in ten married people enjoy happy and healthy marriages, and that being in an unhappy partnership can increase your chances of getting sick by about 35 percent. Another researcher, John Gottman, has found that being in an unhappy union could shorten your life by four years.

A recently published Stanford study found that women initiate divorce 69 percent of the time.

In other words: Married mom desperate to hang with single moms: You are not alone in your marital misery. You’re good! Normal! 

Related podcast:
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That doesn't mean you're a single mom. Single moms don't have husbands. Even if your husband is a financial, emotional, logistical, social liability, you just are not a single mom. Here's the difference:

    • Single moms don't have the logistical conveniences of having a partner live in their house. When they need to go to the emergency room in the middle of the night because of explosive and relentless stomach bug, getting there, arranging for child care and stressing about taking much-needed time off work is on them.
    • Single moms don't enjoy the social cache of marriage — whether they care or not.
    • Single moms don't enjoy the financial security of marriage, which has countless tax, child care, insurance and cost-advantaged living efficiencies that single people, or single parents enjoy.
  • Single parents don't have a built in romantic partner, or readily available sex outlet.

Now, these are the negatives. Spend 10 minutes on this blog, and there are a zillion reasons why single motherhood is not only doable, but amazing for many women. You may be one of them, but you are not one yet. You did not take that risk and separate from your husband. That is OK, and maybe you will do that in your time. But you are not in the club yet. As for me …

When things are tough on the single-mom front, this is what I tell myself:

I may sometimes be an overwhelmed single mom, but at least I’m not a married overwhelmed single mom. Because anecdotally, most married moms I know often feel like they’re often without a spouse. I know this because a) I was a married mom for a minute, b) I look around and see all these married, stay-at-home moms getting through the days by the skin on their teeth while their husbands build their careers, and they look as though they're about to lose their minds (many have, frankly), and c) when you’re a single mom, women (and men) complain to you about their spouses. A LOT. And they tell me they feel like they're single parents.

Oh, and there are some facts to back this up.

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While about half of mothers will spend at least a year as sole custodian of a child (according to University of North Carolina researchers), kids are being raised by one parent in many other circumstances, even if the mother and father are technically married. These include:

  • The 1.7million children who have at least one parent in jail, according to the nonprofit Justice Strategies.
  • All those husbands with jobs requiring long hours and travel, resulting in them hardly seeing their kids.

And then there are the all those millions of kids I mentioned in an earlier post who are being raised in households where parents are addicted, depressed, abusive or chronically ill. Of course, lots of these situations can and do overlap – kids whose parents are addicted, depressed and in the can, those who are divorced and in the military, etc. The point is, statistics about moms raising children without a husband to whom they are legally married are misleading – there are far, far more women who identify – even if secretly, you know who you are! – as married single moms.

Don’t take it from me. ForbesWoman.com and TheBump.com recently conducted a survey of 1,200 mothers and found:

  • 70 percent of working moms and 68 percent of stay-at-home moms resent their partner because of the unbalanced load of household and parenting responsibilities.
  • 84 percent of stay-at-home moms don’t get a break from parenting after their partner walks in the door at night, and, 50 percent of stay-at-home moms say they never­­—NEVER!– receive a time-out from parenting.
  • Not surprisingly, 24 percent of working mothers and 28 percent of stay-at-home moms say they sometimes they feel like a “married single mom.”

And in a lot of ways, they are: Married moms take on the majority of childcare and housekeeping regardless of whether they work outside of the home. Which is just like a real single mom. Except for the money part, of course. Statistically, single moms are much poorer than married mothers, and there is nearly always more financial stability when there are two adults in a household than one, regardless of who works and who does not.

About Emma Johnson

Emma Johnson is a veteran money journalist, noted blogger, bestselling author and an host of the award-winning podcast, Like a Mother with Emma Johnson. A former Associated Press Financial Wire reporter and MSN Money columnist, Emma has written for the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Glamour, Oprah.com, U.S. News, Parenting, USA Today and others. Her #1 bestseller, The Kickass Single Mom (Penguin), was named to the New York Post's ‘Must Read” list.Emma regularly comments on issues of modern families, gender equality, divorce, sex and motherhood for outlets like CNN, Headline News, New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Fox & Friends, CNBC, NPR, TIME, MONEY, O, The Oprah Magazine and The Doctors. She was named Parents magazine’s “Best of the Web,” “Top 15 Personal Finance Podcasts” by U.S. News, and a “Most Eligible New Yorker” by New York Observer.A popular speaker, Emma presented at the United Nations Summit for Gender Equality. Read more about Emma here.

111 Comments

  1. Katrina on March 2, 2016 at 9:35 pm

    I agree with the comment that this is a pity party of comments. I refuse to attend it. While I can relate to feeling like a married single mother I can also admit it’s mostly my fault. Now I understand all situations are different, but once I learned how to actually approach my husband without taking it personal things changed. Much of the time the reason the load is so unbalanced is because you’ve taught your husband and children you will do it all. You have standards and feel that if you delegate the work it won’t be done correctly.

    Becoming a consistent mother helped tremendously because once my children knew they were loved, but I meant what I said that changed the dynamics of the household. It’s easy to whine and complain about feeling this way and that’s precisely what is being done in the comments. It’s much harder to face conflict and listen to the criticism in reverse.

    If you aren’t consistent. If you are full of resentment, ask yourself who’s fault that really is. I mean we teach people how to treat us, so if we shut up to avoid conflict and just go with it we’ve taught them we will do it all. This leads us to feel resentful and sporadically burst into rages they don’t understand or see coming.

    We are often only stuck because we refuse to move. If you don’t like the way things are change them. If you truly get your kids under control and have a pretty smooth operation running and your husband still refuses to share in the load maybe it’s time to lighten yours by letting him go.

    • chelsea on April 2, 2016 at 12:34 pm

      I don’t think it’s just the one individual woman who has set the pace for how they are treated. I do agree that we all have to establish boundaries and ask for what we need. Many times though, the way a man views a woman has been largely affected by his mother, as well as cultural views and his peers. I’m a woman who has been fighting the stigma of what responsibilities always fall on a woman for a long time now and understand that it’s not just as simple as saying,” hey babe do you think you could fold this laundry?”. If it was always just that easy , don’t ya think divorce would be nonexistent??? You do have some valid points I see some perspective, but I can also see that you haven’t had the experience and genuine obstacles to say it soooo condescendingly.

  2. Sheridan on March 18, 2016 at 8:20 am

    I have a fisherman hubby who works away for weeks at a time. I work 10 hour days in a well paid job and raise our two kids 10 and 12 in a small coastal village. I, too, am jealous of single mum friends who actually get every 2nd weekend and half of the school hols to themselves. I constantly reflect and ask if I have enabled the situation by being the trash fairy, shopping fairy, pet fairy and every other bloody fairy in the house. When I speak up, he becomes defensive and tells me I am selfish and he is doing his best. Money isn’t an issue for us but he still manages to complain monthly if I ask him to help pay the household bills as he is paying off the fishing boat. After years of this hostility and neglect and second guessing myself, I have had enough and am making plans for my own happiness and moving back to town where the kids and I can get involved in life again and open up our options. I believe we are responsible for our own happiness and need to find our own ways to enjoy our lives without unnecessary turmoil, I just need to grow a set of kahunas to go find it and stop feeling guilty about wanting more. Neglect kills love. Ignorance kills friendship. Lack of understanding kills sex lives. We don’t need a partner to complete us. We need good friends, some fun and a packet of AAA’s. Cher got it right when she said that man are a luxury item, not a necessity. Expect nothing and you won’t be disappointed!! I have learnt from two marriages to always keep something of yourself for yourself. Invest in the relationship but stay strong on the inside. Never give them everything. Odds on, the day will come when you need a set – and your own income.

    • Cheryl on September 19, 2016 at 5:23 pm

      I love your post! It’s exactly how I feel

    • John G on February 21, 2017 at 3:30 am

      “Men are a luxury item, not a necessity”

      Hmm. What a strange and sad viewpoint you have. Akin to the equally strange and sad viewpoint that some men have of women – that they are merely an expensive luxury entertainment commodity perhaps. Not a view that I share, despite provocation.

      Before you jump yet again, given that you have two failed marriages behind you, you might question the part that you, and your expectations have played, in those failures. It seems to me that smoke shows which way the wind blows.

      I recall reading an article concerning the ‘worlds most married woman’ who had 23 failed marriages. The main thing that struck me was how optimistic would husbands number 21,22 and 23 have to be to even consider this woman?!

      “I am jealous of single mom friends who get every 2nd weekend and school hols to themselves”

      Of course – you’re assuming your ex-husband will play ball and will allow you to use him as an unpaid babysitter so that you can have ‘time off’ from childcare. If you intend to do that, then I advise you’re as nice as possible and don’t play emotional games with him or try and use the kids as a weapon, otherwise, he may decide to just cut off all contact and leave you without the ‘free time’ that you so crave. Getting a divorce to have ‘free time’ is misguided and akin to roasting pig by burning the house down.

      Frankly I would reassess your priorities. I think you need help, not a divorce.

      • Nina on November 15, 2017 at 3:02 pm

        “Of course – you’re assuming your ex-husband will play ball and will allow you to use him as an unpaid babysitter so that you can have ‘time off’ from childcare. If you intend to do that, then I advise you’re as nice as possible and don’t play emotional games with him or try and use the kids as a weapon, otherwise, he may decide to just cut off all contact and leave you without the ‘free time’ that you so crave. ”

        John G, it is telling that you think that a man spending time with his own children is “playing ball” and “allowing himself to be used as an unpaid babysitter so that his ex-wife can have time off from child care”. So you seem to believe that children are entirely a woman’s responsibility and a man is doing her a favour when he takes care of them. Strange point of view, but one that many men seem to share. Right now her husband always has time off from childcare. Where are your harsh words for him?

  3. Mike on August 7, 2016 at 11:26 am

    What percentage of sole-breadwinner men resent their partner for never having earned a dime? Let’s be real … if the laundry doesn’t get done or you don’t make it to the grocery store, you don’t lose the house and all starve. This is why men should NEVER get married. Ever. There is nothing in it for you. If you want her to work, then you don’t love your children and want theme raised by a day care. If she stays home, then she’s “sacrificed ” her career (whether in realty she would have had one or not) for you, and you will pay her forever if you divorce. It’s a no-win situation for men … especially ones with higher incomes. Some eomen stay home because they don’t WANT to eork. Or, they cannot get a job they enjoy, so they sray home and use the kids as an excuse. Stay single, boys!

    • Lulu on January 22, 2017 at 10:16 am

      Pure Bs misogyny

    • Silvie on March 12, 2019 at 1:17 pm

      Exactly! Women are never happy and I know this because I am one. The only reason a man marries is because a woman pressures him into it. Then she’s unhappy being married with kids because the reality isn’t the unrealistic ideal society painted for her. People do yourselves a favor, stay single, travel, date and just enjoy life.

  4. Tired Mama on August 23, 2016 at 10:38 pm

    This was a good blog to read. Glad to know I’m not alone feeling like a married single mom. The resentment towards my husband is constantly building. I recently just went back to work after having my 2nd baby. We have a 2 year old and my husband has a 6 year old who is with us full time all summer and every other weekend during the school year. I am expected to work full time, cook, clean, do laundry and take care of ALL 3 children by myself. My husband works hard but is off by 3 most days. I’m getting bitter watching him sit and watch TV or play on his phone while there are 2 (sometimes 3) kids fussing, need bathed and put to bed- he apparently doesn’t notice screaming children. My step-child’s mother stopped calling/texting him in regards to their child this last year and contacts me instead because he’s such a “checked out” father. Ugh! And I’m the bad guy when I force him to go to events for the kids!

    • Lulu on January 22, 2017 at 10:15 am

      Leave him, then see how good you actually had it! You are not a single mom. You are in an unsatisfying relationship maybe, but daddy comes home and helps pay the mortgage and bills. You have another adult to talk to, you won’t miss half your child’s birthdays, Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, or life in general. Leave him and taste reality or stop complaining.

  5. Liz on September 9, 2016 at 10:57 pm

    I am not married but have been with my man now for 7 years. I have a daughter and he has a daughter that started living with us 4 years ago. The bio mom took of and has not been seen since. I can relate to this woman fully. I have never had the luxury of being a state at home mom and I have always had to work. I’m not complaining about that, however have the full responsibility of kids, home ,work and sometimes overtime can be overwhelming. I have spoken to him about helping me numerous times yet it never sinks in. We are engaged and to be married in about 6 months. I am seriously thinking that it maybe time to move on. The only thing that holds me back is the responsibility I feel for my step daughter. I am irritated that he is not more involved with her and he leaves that all to me. Which backfires on me most if the time and she is angry and has behavioral problems. I definitely feel a sense of fault for letting this relationship get this far.

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  7. Renee on January 22, 2017 at 4:53 am

    WOW! What a sad little pity party! I honestly just read every single comment on this post and while some were funny, honest, and even entertaining, the majority were just sad and depressing. I’ve been with my partner for almost 17 days, have for beautiful children together, work fulltime and attend graduate school fulltime. Our house is clean, our kids are feed. Not once have I ever felt like a “single married mother”. I recognize that while my husband does completely different things from me each of our roles within our marriage and family are important. It saddens me to think that so many women feel so alone despite having a partner. I can’t imagine what that’s like for these OR their, I imagine, equally dissatisfied husbands. If so many ladies are feeling alone then there’s adv equal amount of men feeling exactly the same way. To imagine all of these disconnected partnerships creating dysfunctional children sure to the lack of example they set via their unhappiness and lack of appreciation for their partner. Such a sad thing. Nonetheless, get over it! You’re not happy: leave. You feel unappreciated: leave. You’re willingly tolerating that type of relationship: leave! No one is forcing you to stay where you’re unhappy and resentful so just cut the strings and go. That way at least you’ll have some chance of one day being satisfied with your life. Sorry to be harsh but people always start in aspirations where they feel sorry for themselves and it’s ridiculous.

  8. Lulu on January 22, 2017 at 10:10 am

    I was with the father of my child. He worked, I stayed home. I always said “I feel like I’m a single mom!” Now that I am a single mom let me tell you, if your husband is in the picture, even if he doesn’t help much, it is NOTHING like being a single mom. Just having someone to share the evening with after the kids are asleep, or knowing daddy will be coming home from deployment soon…. These are the things us single mothers dont get. If you are with the father of your children you are not a single mom, and until you REALLY know what it is to be a single mom, stop saying that’s how you feel. You have NO IDEA!!!!!

  9. Beck on February 17, 2017 at 4:58 pm

    This is really helpful perspective for both sides – both single parents and partnered parents who feel single. It is hard to explain to friends whose partner lives in the house what it means to have someone…living in the house. I think it’s called “silent privilege” when you can’t see how things like this are advantageous. It’s hard to understand what those middle of the night ER trips are like alone if you have not had to do it yourself.

    At times I’ve been frustrated but partnered mom friends who are beside themselves with terror and bitterness when their partners go out of town for two or three days. I’ve been asked can I please watch their kid for a bit because they just can’t get through it alone. It’s pretty hilarious. And of course, because I want to be a part of their village as much as they say they want to be a part of mine – I’m always happy to have their kid(s) over. But I no one is running to help me out during three day stretches alone. And it’s been four years. Just different perspectives. I get that it must be hard to be used to having that partner around – who may bring relief at the end of the day (and often a paycheck) – and then not have them there. I wish partnered parents could understand that their few days alone don’t come attached to the stigma that single moms get. That is the one of the really salty parts.

    I have a lot more to say and sorry if that’s a jumble but am currently dealing with another one of those big heavy lift life moments that single parents shoulder alone. Got to get back to it. Thanks for posting this.

  10. Patricia on February 19, 2017 at 3:04 am

    What if your husband refuses to pay for anything you or your child needs like mine does. Are you a married single mom then?

    • Emma on February 22, 2017 at 9:59 am

      You are in an abusive marriage.

  11. John G on February 21, 2017 at 2:45 am

    I realize that many women who commented on this will feel that, as a man, I am unqualified to comment on it. I fully expect plenty of shrill objection to this post. However, that aside, I would like to mention something that deeply concerns me.

    I receive a distinct whiff of entitlement mentality from some of the above comments. I would like to simply ask – in a marriage where both people have agreed that one person will work, in order to provide food & shelter, and the other has agreed that they will contribute in another fashion, by running the household, why is that widely seen as an ‘unfair’ split in labor?

    It is hard to work and successfully look after children. Marriage has evolved as an efficient system to allow one party to work and provide food and shelter, whilst the other works in the home to raise the children. It’s an efficient use of resources. Can a single mother do a better job alone than a successful marriage can? No. it’s frankly nonsense to suggest it. I certainly wouldn’t care to try and hold down my job and juggle the demands of child raising alone. It would be hard work and I would do a worse job at both than if I had someone else around to share the burden. Pretending that a single parent can do an excellent job at parenting and an excellent job in their career, have enough sleep, and remain in perfect mental and physical health – in essence to ‘have it all’ in fact, is a deeply unrealistic notion.

    For those women who complain about never getting ‘time off’ parenting, perhaps you should consider that your husband does not get ‘time off’ his job either. Granted, during the weekend, both parents should be (and often are) involved in parenting duties, but, unless you are prepared to go to work on a rainy Monday morning in stead of your husband, I have little sympathy for the stay at home wife that complains that she doesn’t get ‘time off’ from doing the laundry. I suggest that you write down your respective contributions to the marriage and their dollar value, and see whether things are really as one-sided as you believe they are.

    Lets give a concrete example. Let us assume that both the husband and the wife were employed when they met. The husband brings home $10,000 a month. In her last job, the wife earned $2500 a month before she gave it up. Let’s say that they could employ an au-pair to run the house at a cost of $2500 a month. This means that the wife is receiving the benefit of half the husband’s salary in terms of lifestyle and material things and asset accumulation. She is therefore effectively being paid $5000 a month – more than her worth – for her contribution running the home. So why would she complain that she does not have ‘time off’ from her duties?

    If the man were to run the marriage in a hard-nosed enough fashion, he would keep all his income for himself, pay 50% of the bill and insist his wife works and pays her 50% of the bills. Then, and only then, would the woman be justified in complaining that chores were not split 50-50 because then, clearly they should be.

    Frankly, it is to the credit of many men that they often share the benefits of their employment with their families in a completely unselfish fashion.

    I also find it sad and strange that so many married women complain about their relationships. My first marriage lasted twelve years, my wife stopped working (at her request) and had a very very nice eight years or so, going to yoga, going to the gym, going to lunch with girl friends, and for some of it, spending time with my young child that I would dearly have loved to have done, but couldn’t, because I was at work for 12 hours a day. I would challenge anyone that really believes that men love to work to think again. We don’t. Personally I would rather be at home. But someone has to. Otherwise everyone will starve.

    I found out that my marriage was about to end when I discovered my ex-wife googling ‘divorce attorneys’ on the web one day. She is now a single mother, and last I heard, she was complaining about that. Now she’s more tired, older and poorer. I just hope that she discovers that her new empowered freedom lives up to the unrealistic dreams that I see being peddled here.

    No-one is forcing women to be married. If you feel that it’s so bad then just don’t be. Just please show some self-respect and be independent. Don’t have the audacity to marry some poor guy and then divorce him a few years later and expect alimony and a meal ticket for the rest of your pampered, entitled life. If you want to eat and a roof over your head, then get a job, like generations of men have had to do, whether they liked it or not. My grandfather worked 7 day weeks. He died 20 years before his wife. I’m not aware that either of them bemoaned their situation. Why do so many women nowadays seem narcissistic?

    I suggest that women contemplating the unfairness of it all, take a long look at their resume and realistically assess what they are financially worth when they work for a living as opposed to often taking a free ride from their husband. The world does not owe you a living and as a man, I’m tired of hearing it from entitled, narcissistic, spoiled women who act like overgrown children and who have adopted the phrase ‘because I’m worth it’ as a life motto.

    • Nina on November 15, 2017 at 3:14 pm

      John G, you don’t seem to have read the posts at all. Most of the ladies are not complaining about a “traditional” division of labor in marriage, whereby the man works outside of the home and the woman works inside the home. Instead most are complaining because they too work outside of the home, but are also expected to look after the children, home and man. Alternatively, a few are complaining because, the man works during the day at the office/ work site, while they (women) work during the day at home with the kids, then the man comes home and expects to relax for the evening, while the woman is expected to continue working 24/7 taking care of the home, kids and man. Everybody needs a break some time. Taking care of children can be extremely draining – if a woman has done it for 10 hours a day, the man can chip in a bit in the evening. That is, both men and women need some time off from their “jobs” in the evening, even if the woman is a SAHM.
      Finally your example seems to come from a world where a woman is earning MUCH less than a man. In my world, many women earn as much as, or more than, their husbands.

  12. Lh on February 22, 2017 at 9:30 pm

    I am a working mom of two a 6 year old only and two year old girl I work full time and I do everything around the house as well as take my kids to all their events. I am in a strange situation where I got divorced and we ended up reconciling the relationship and we are together but not married. All of our finances are seperate and we split bills. We do not get to see each other often because he’s home in the morning and we have sitter come and I take care of kids at night. What I have found that I can share through everything we have been through is that life and relationships are about balance and communication. We realized that we don’t see each other much so we make a date night once a week to get sitter and grab dinner after kids are in bed. Also since he is not home much he said he will pay for sitter so I can have some alone time. I feel the resentment builds when you don’t have balance. We have been together total of 10 years and are not perfect but we are figuring it out and communicating along the way. I many of times do feel like I am alone in taking care of and raising my kids and I do worry and stress whether or not I am doing a good job. I think all you can do is think positive and find a balance and most importantly is communication.

  13. Staying home on March 5, 2017 at 3:23 pm

    OK. I am a stay at home mom for the last 4 years. I gave up a lot to be here. (My car and shopping . snowboarding and vactions. I miss my vacations the most). I also miss having a life. A paycheck would also be nice. I resent my hubby, and he knows it. He gets to leave the house, he gets a pay check, he gets to drive the car, but most importantly he gets noticed when he leaves and even more so when he gets home! Where he leaves his socks anywhere, pants somewhere else, guitars and equipment where ever.

    My day never ends. I stay with him because he does not beat me, and is not verbally abusive.

    And because he makes decent money, I only make a buck a day with my baby bonus.

    He resents me too! I get to stay home and play with our daughter, swim, nap. I get hugs on demand and kissez too! I get to be here for both of them.

    For the record, nobody but you can maoe yourself happy. Happiness is a state of mind. Keep telling yourself enough times that you are unhappy and you will believe it.

    • Emma on March 6, 2017 at 7:28 am

      So … why don’t you get a job?

  14. V on March 5, 2017 at 6:43 pm

    This whole issue even came up at my church. We had a great thing going with a supportive bible study group for single moms which was led by some married women who just wanted to be supportive. But then a few moms who were married but “felt like a single mom” joined and it honestly made it an irrelevant group. If your husband had to move out of state for employment, that’s a temporarily difficult situation, but it’s still a two parent home. Go start your own supportive group, we like having one just for us!

    • Emma on March 6, 2017 at 7:27 am

      That is really interesting! What ended up happening?

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  16. Mac on March 26, 2017 at 10:58 am

    I divorced the father of my first two children and was in a much better position when I became a single parent. I have worked full time since before I had kids and still do (not a high paying job) and never had financial contributions from my ex. Ever. Still don’t. You can’t get child support from someone unemployed. I took the opportunity to finish my college degree after separating. I had every other weekend to myself as the kids stayed with their dad which was the first alone time I had experienced in 7 years. For the three years I was single I was able to discover more about myself and even have alone time twice a month. I have since remarried and have a third child. I have proven that I am capable on my own and don’t need a partner to make things work. I love him so much but don’t need anything from him. I get the kids ready in the mornings, take them to school, work, pick them
    up, make dinner, and put them to bed. Venture on weekend outings with the kids on my own. My husband works odd hours and has different days off and doesn’t wake up when the toddler gets out of bed. Child rearing is nearly 100% on my shoulders. Having been a single mom, there isn’t much different, aside from added resentment towards my partner. I love him very much, but sometimes miss my days being a single parent. I only had myself to rely on then, and now is the same but with disappointment about not having a shared workload with my partner and his lack of time to build a relationship with my older two. His work schedule makes it difficult to rely on him. You can say it isn’t the same, but personally it feels pretty dang similar.
    ** Note – I’m exhausted and my husband is asleep. Being tired makes me grouchy as can been seen in this post.

  17. Tonia on May 22, 2017 at 3:32 pm

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  18. AJ on July 15, 2017 at 1:34 pm

    I would challenge your assessment of “you can’t be a married, single mom”. You cannot take on my perspective or the perspective of women who live like me. You can have you’re opinion, but you are not in a place where you can make a judgement based on knowledge. I would never say anything to discredit a single mother. I will know only too soon what that is like. But your examples of why you can’t be a “married, single mom”, not a single one applied to me. I’m not a whiny married chick who feels sorry for herself. Instead of tearing women down, try building them up. Don’t force them to compete against each other, and then profit from it.

  19. rens on July 26, 2017 at 10:02 am

    They’re not single moms, but I understand why they’d want to join. As a single mom it’s easier than w a partner who doesn’t do anything, cause at least you don’t have to get irritated about that and it’s far less lonely.

  20. Christine on August 5, 2017 at 6:35 am

    Not true! I was a single mother before I got married and I can say that I was better off single! I thought I married a good man. Sadly, that did not turn out to be the case. There are many traumatizing details to my nightmare of a marriage, but those who read this will just have to trust that it was bad. Just because you’re married doesn’t mean your husband is your partner in the above mentioned points. If he not, then married life with children is even more lonely. Now that I’m finally headed to divorce, I realized that I’ve always been a single mother. A single mother who still struggled to provide a life and a future. My marriage magnified this fact even more than when I was legally single. Yes, you can be a married single mother. Just because you have a husband doesn’t mean you have a partner. It may mean you have another child to care for and in many ways it hurts worse. It worse because you’re not supposed to be going it alone. You’re not supposed to be the only one responsible for the children, finances, etc. You’re not supposed to be, but you are. You’ve been abandoned in your own marriage, lonely, overwhelmed, and unloved, yet you have to see the one who abandons you day in and day out. It’s torture to have to watch yourself, your children, and your marriage vows being abandoned and rejected. I hate that I’ve only ever known loneliness when it comes to relationships and being a parent, but having been on both sides and going through my own experiences, I prefer actual single mom life with all its hardships than still living as a single parent and married.

  21. Jessica Hill on August 9, 2017 at 10:41 pm

    I unfortunately have to disagree with you. I’m married. My husband is an addict and doesn’t live with me. I do everything on my own and have the same worries a single mom has. I would love to have the man I married with me but his choices make that impossible for myself and our son. I didn’t sign up for a married single parent but that’s exactly what I am.

  22. Mackenzie Davis on August 12, 2017 at 2:37 am

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  23. Pearl on October 13, 2017 at 11:09 pm

    This is the most poorly written, grammatically riddled with errors piece of shit article I have ever read.

  24. Shalini bajpai on November 2, 2018 at 1:14 pm

    Having both father and mother is the ideal case…but if the father is not supportive and cause of stress for mother , there is nothing wrong if then the woman decides to separate..as happy mom means happy child…
    Can anyone honestly tell that after the separation their lives improved or it remained same or even worse….
    Coz if life doesnt improve after separation then its better to stay in marriage as atleast kids are getting father. .
    People who have separated pl honestl inform did your lives improve

  25. […] This is a good read for those who have husbands who work long hours, which is seriously becoming more and more the trend these days due to technology. […]

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