When hearing from women about dating and relationship challenges, I’m often stunned at all the man-hating out there. Lots of women HATE dudes. When confronted, most insist they do not. But you do. You totally do!
Why does it matter? Because you’re full of hate. It’s not like hate for trans fat, or public smoking or even Republicans, because you have a choice about how you vote. This is hating half of the human race. It is hating half of your own DNA. It is hating all of your male relatives and friends and any man you may consider. This means you even hate Tom Hanks and nobody hates Tom Hanks. Except there is something he shares with half the population– and that is his manhood.
Which is so, so toxic. No likes hanging out with a hater! Not even women. And you’re holding yourself back – back from connecting with others. Back
Here are 9 signs you’re a man-hater:
1. You speak about men in gross generalizations — and it’s always super-negative. Stuff like, “Men are always playing manipulative games,” or “Men love to be mommied,” or “Men hate giving oral sex and only do it so women will agree to anal.” You know, stuff like that.
2. You hate all your exes. If you find no redeeming qualities in any of the men you were once devoted to, well …
3. All your breakups were his fault. Not because it was a poor match, or the timing was off, or you acted poorly. No. All. His. Fault.
4. You lecture your son on how to be a better man. This assumes that men are inherently rotten, so he must be the exception. What you’re telling him is that by nature of his gender, your son is inherently rotten.
5. You lecture your daughter on what to avoid in a man — ad nauseam.
6. When you spend time with a man you spend the while time nitpicking, correcting and insist on doing everything yourself. Lady, let the guy do his thing already. You are not the only competent person in the room.
7. You have a feminist chip on your shoulder. I’m a feminist, and you should be, too. It is hard to hold tight to our beliefs — which are rooted in a movement designed to upturn a male-dominated paradigm — and still adore the company of men. Because, one could very justifiably argue, men are the enemy. Except most of them are not. Not the one sitting across the table, patiently listening to you quote Germaine Greer with interest, after which he will insist on paying the bill. Still not sure if this applies to you? Do you ever casually — as in not in an ironic way — use the word “patriarchy”? There you go.
8. Your favorite way to flirt with a man is to argue with him.
9. You can’t let him lead. You flinch when he places his hand on the small of your back and guides you to the table. You bristle when he plans a date without asking you first. You panic when he takes you by the hips and flips you over.
Emma Johnson is a veteran money journalist, noted blogger, bestselling author and an host of the award-winning podcast, Like a Mother with Emma Johnson. A former Associated Press Financial Wire reporter and MSN Money columnist, Emma has written for the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Glamour, Oprah.com, U.S. News, Parenting, USA Today and others. Her #1 bestseller, The Kickass Single Mom (Penguin), was named to the New York Post’s ‘Must Read” list.
Emma regularly comments on issues of modern families, gender equality, divorce, sex and motherhood for outlets like CNN, Headline News, New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Fox & Friends, CNBC, NPR, TIME, MONEY, O, The Oprah Magazine and The Doctors. She was named Parents magazine’s “Best of the Web,” “Top 15 Personal Finance Podcasts” by U.S. News, and a “Most Eligible New Yorker” by New York Observer.
A popular speaker, Emma presented at the United Nations Summit for Gender Equality. Read more about Emma here.