Back by popular demand, I’m continuing my list of items I no longer give a shit about since becoming a single mom. Check out items 1 through 7 here.
8. Feeding my kids perfect food. When Helena was a baby, I nursed her until she was 16 months and made all her baby food from scratch in a little food processor — including an assortment of millet, and barley and other grains I don’t normally eat. Everything was organic (duh), and there was hardly any sugar. Now? Not a day goes by that my kids don’t wolf down some syrupy, chocolatey item, and you will occasionally find a pizza and store-brand fish sticks in my freezer.
9. Squeezing my ass into a size 4. Now I’m totally content being a size 6. OK, OK. For a while there I was rocking an occasional 8. But I’m back down to a 6. And sometimes a 4. That dress I bought a couple of weeks ago was an XS, though. Really – do you want me to send pictures? I’m a freaking 6, OK? (But sometimes a 4.)
10. When people are snippy and bitchy and say things that hurt my feelings. I used to think you needed to talk about stuff. You don’t. Unless a relationship is in peril, give people the benefit of the doubt. Just let it go.
11. That your husband irritates you. Now, everyone has their challenges. My marital status doesn’t make mine worse than anyone else’s. In fact, lending an ear to my friends struggling with difficult marriages is just part of being a good friend, and I’m happy to oblige. When married, I used to gripe about my husband’s many annoying habits. But being on the other side of divorce, you learn that petty irritations must be let go (see #10). And if that is all you have to contribute to our conversation, you are boring and small and a crappy wife and I don’t give a shit about you.
12. The details of my body. Like most women, I used to have little hang-ups about what went where. My boobs were kinda small, my nipples a weird shape. Boo hoo. Then I nursed two babies who would become the fleshiest, healthiest pumpkins you ever saw. Helena’s bulbous cheeks looked like they could have launched off her face, and for a while were so big they crippled her tiny smile. Have you ever seen a baby walrus? With all its folds? That was Lucas. And suddenly my little breasts became the most amazing organs I’d ever met.
Emma Johnson is a veteran money writer, noted blogger, bestselling author and an host of the award-winning podcast, Like a Mother with Emma Johnson. A former Associated Press Financial Wire reporter and MSN Money columnist, Emma has written for the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Glamour, Oprah.com, REAL SIMPLE, Parenting, USA Today and others.
The Kickass Single Mom: Be Financially Independent, Discover Your Sexiest Self, and Raise Fabulous, Happy Children (Penguin, 2017), was a #1 bestseller and was featured in hundreds of media, including The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Fox & Friends, Oprah.com and the New York Post, which named it to its ‘Must Read” list.
Her popular blog Wealthysinglemommy.com, and podcast Like a Mother, explore issues facing professional single moms: business and career, money, sex, relationships and parenting. Emma regularly comments on these topics for outlets such as CNN, Headline News, New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Fox & Friends, CNBC, NPR, TIME, MONEY, O, The Oprah Magazine, Woman’s Day, The Doctors, and many more. She was named Parents magazine’s “Best of the Web,” one of “20 Personal Finance Influencers to Follow on Twitter” by AOL DailyFinance, “Top 15 Personal Finance Podcasts” by U.S. News, and “Most Eligible New Yorkers” by New York Observer.
A popular speaker on gender equality, Emma presented at the United Nations Summit for Gender Equality.
Emma grew up in Sycamore, Ill., and lives in New York City with her children.