25 ways I will be a better wife next time

his and her bathrooms marraige

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end.

— Catherine Zeta Jones

It’s easy to diss your ex. But if it really does take two, what were your shortcomings in the relationship? What will you do differently next time?

If I get a do-over and remarry, I hope I will be a different kind of wife. A better wife. This is how I will be in my next marriage:

  1. Be more adoring.
  2. More appreciative.
  3. I won’t nag.
  4. Or pick.
  5. Separate bank accounts.
  6. Prenup.
  7. I won’t talk trash about his family. Even when he’s going off about his alcoholic, abusive, philandering, compulsive-lying relatives, I will keep my pie hole shut.
  8. Let stuff go.
  9. Let lots and lots and lots of stuff go.
  10. Ensure we have enough real estate so everyone has space that is exclusively their own.
  11. Always earn enough to support myself and my kids by myself.
  12. Believe that my career and income are just as important to his — even if I earn less.
  13. Laugh about his annoying habits.
  14. Laugh at my habits he finds annoying.
  15. Accept that his shortcomings – small or large – do not reflect on me. (Unless those shortcomings are really bad.)
  16. Fight fair and fast.
  17. Let stuff go.
  18. Make sex a priority. No matter what.
  19. No intentionally farting in front of each other.
  20. Or using the bathroom with the door open.
  21. I won’t expect him to change.
  22. I’ll compromise more.
  23. And listen more.
  24. Let him have his way more.
  25. Put my energy into what is good in the relationship, and not dwell on the other things.
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13 thoughts on “25 ways I will be a better wife next time

  1. Great list. I would add: “I will always adore and encourage him, just like when I knew I was first in love.” Men thrive on affection and attention (just like women) and miss it when they don’t get it just as much as we do.

  2. Not bad, but specific minimum frequency of sex (especially fellatio) would have improved it. Likewise, vowing to A) maintain your premarital weight and B) bear a certain number of children genetically HIS would have rounded out the picture.

  3. Sounds like you figured out mostly the right things. And too bad about your old man’s brain injury. Then again, I’m always skeptical of single moms and their “I was the victim” narrative. You came from a divorced family; it’s obvious marriage ’til-death-do-you-part was only someting you read in books. I don’t think I’d ever marry a divorced chick or a child of divorce. Too much risk.

    Whoever you get next will probably be a worse catch in all the relevant ways than your ex. Be realistic. At least your aim for self improvement shows realism.

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