There is something amazing and magical that happens when women divorce. They get beautiful. And they get horny.
It’s no coincidence these two things go hand-in-hand. Or that they follow divorce. No matter how contentious or acrimonious or downright explosively miserable the end of your marriage was, being divorced is better. It always is. It was sad. It sucked. Now it’s better.
And when that heavy, nasty weight of your ex leaves and you realize that you will survive and that life does go on, all of a sudden the sun starts to shine a little brighter. You start to notice the different shades of green of the leaves in that tree that has been outside your house for years and years. Your children seem unbelievably wonderful, and your own reflection in the mirror starts to not look so horrible. It is as if those cracks of light inside of you are now on the outside. And everything about you — on the inside and the outside — everything is better.
And the men. The men! All of a sudden, you start to notice that there are men in the world. Not just people with hair on their arms who smell different that we do. They are men who have bodies and hands and deep voices that offer compliments and eyes — eyes. Eyes that look at you and make you realize that those men are thinking things. Things about you. And that makes you think those things about yourself, too. And about those men. And those men? They’re everywhere.
And sooner or later you find ways to be with those men. On dates, and in bed. And you cannot believe how much better it was than the last time around. The last time you were in your 20s! You were silly and looking for a husband and had an agenda! This time? Who cares!? Well, you care — about everything. About all those feelings and the touching and the joy and the thrill and that passion and the love. Love wasn’t this great last time, was it? Could it have gotten better? And yet you care about nothing. None of those things that were on your list. You have those things yourself — the kids and the house and the career. You start to see the spots in yourself that a man can fill. And you start to see men in different ways. Because you are different.
And the men — they are better, too. There is no speculating this time, no guessing about what he might look like in middle age, or whether he will fulfill all those dazzling plans he lays out, or whether he has the capacity for love and friendship and joy. Because now they have track records and portfolios. Of life. And you shop for them, and try them on and enjoy them. That is the thing about being divorced and dating. You enjoy men. Because you enjoy yourself. And life is full and secure like it wasn’t before. And what is more beautiful than that?
This post originally appeared on TheSuccessfulSingleMom.com and Huffington Post Divorce.
Related articles
- Books for the Divorced / Divorcing Man (ask.metafilter.com)
- What Comes After Valentine’s Day? Divorce, of Course (prweb.com)
- Properly Managing Your Finances During a Divorce (debtroundup.com)
- Telling Children About Divorce Made Easier, More Effective With Unique Create-a-Storybook Guide for Parents (prweb.com)
- CashNetUSA | How to Overcome the Financial Terrors of Divorce – CashNetUSA (cashnetusa.com)
- Clearing The Fog Of Divorce (sincemydivorce.com)
- Divorce Resort Offers a Healthier Alternative to Traditional Divorce for Times when Love Doesn’t Work Out (prweb.com)
- Divorce But What About The Children (socyberty.com)











NYT adds WSM to its Motherlode blogroll
NBC’s TODAY interviews me on traveling solo with kids
Ryan Seacrest plugs my 10-Yr Marriage Contract post!
I discuss kids and divorce live on Headline News
I keep stirring stuff up on The Huffington Post
Woman’s Day digs my 10-Yr Marriage Contract post
CafeMom’s TheStir loves my 10-Yr Marriage Contract idea
xoJane gives my “Beautiful Daughter” essay some love
The Awl promotes my take against SAHMs
Business Insider features my mommy money insights
Circle of Moms names WSM “Top 25 NY Mom Bloggers”
Gotta say this article got me all turned on
I’ve only had one little fling since my marriage ended and it reminded me how fun it was and that I need to get back out there. I even just joined OKCupid. Unfortunately, even though I know you think it’s BS there really don’t seem to be a lot of good guys looking for a single mom (I combined two of your excuses into one!
). Don’t worry, I’m going to be be patient, trying to be relaxed about it. But I do live in a small town and there just aren’t a lot of fish the sea here.
Erica – I try not to take for granted that I have a nice dating pool in NYC. I have lived in so many small towns and smaller cities, and you are correct, it is much tougher in smaller places. But I do believe in the magic of things. So many great success stories – why shouldn’t you be one of them?