Huffington Post Live invited me to participate in this discussion about single parents and dating based on my post Dating as a Single Parent is the Same as Dating as a Teenager.
http://youtu.be/LBlXJdQWgfsI think these moms and dads are too uptight when it comes to introducing their kids to their love interests. You have this madonna-whore complex when it comes to dating, holding tight to antiquated notions that you cannot be both a nurturing, responsible mother AND a single adult in need of love, companionship, romance and a sex life. A few facts to consider:
- Dating is normal. You hide the fact that you date from your kids, you teach them that romance and relationships are shameful. Because YOU think dating is shameful. Get over it.
- No one wants to hurt their kids. Duh, people. And yes, you may introduce your kids to someone who may then leave your lives.
- Loss — like romantic partnership — is part of life. In September my daughter will leave the daycare, school and teachers that has been a part of her life for 35 hours per week for four years. That is a huge loss. It will be sad. It is also a natural part of life.
- It is your job as a parent not to shield them from the realities of life, but to teach them how to deal with life’s realities. Adults need adult relationships. Adult relationships often end (remember: you’re divorced!)
- Wait to introduce your kids to someone you’re committed to, all kinds of stuff can happen. They may hate your kid. You may see a not-so-nice side of that person. You might start to reconsider jumping into a blended family. After all, second marriages suffer way, way higher divorce rates than first marriages.
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