The single mom story is the human story: Shit. Shit, shit, more and more shitty shit shit. Then redemption.

 

 

Friends, through the nearly four years of having this blog and platform I have had the incredible opportunity to hear so many of your stories – both shared openly on platforms like this, through personal friendships with you, as well as private messages you honor me with.

One consistent theme: We all go through shit.

Your shit is not worse than my shit. You do not win because you openly share your shit all the livelong day (like me!), or you assume your shit stinks worse than her shit. Maybe she deals with her shit privately, or maybe I haven’t faced my shit fully because it is so, so painful. More painful and shitty that I worry you can imagine (though I would be wrong, because shit is the universal language).

I find these shitty stories heartbreaking, but also so so cathartic to learn that my suffering is not unique. My shit show is not special. I do not win arguments because somehow my shit is super-shitty and therefore trumps your shit.

No!

My pain, my shame are relieved by hearing your stories.

In turn, I aim to share my stories (and others’ stories) to obliterate others’ shame and hurt and loneliness around their shit.

The other part of life’s shitty shit-shit?

AWESOME WOMEN WHO GET THROUGH SHIT. The parts of your stories you share openly or privately often come with redemption, humility and growth. I am constantly inspired by women who wade through the deepest shit storms and come out loving, brave and triumphant.

And I love those stories most of all.

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2 thoughts on “The single mom story is the human story: Shit. Shit, shit, more and more shitty shit shit. Then redemption.

  1. Dear Emma

    I stubled accross your website as i lay in bed freting about what to do with my life. I wont go into detail but im pregnant and only found out days after i decided to leave my husband.

    Im successful, independant and in the middle of a full time mba. I never imagined bringing up a child on my own and the thought of it scares me to death. But what do i do ? Go back and accept that my marriage will never be what i imagined and stay for the sake of my child or leave and bring the child up on my own?

    Financially i know i could provide for both the child and myself but it will mean i wont be able to spend as much time with him/ her as i would have liked.

    Going back to blog about “we all go through shit” …. This is very true and the sensible amoungst us, accepts it, digests it and moves on. I dont want to be one if those woman who carry bitterness and resentment from my past relationship around with me. This is why im taking the 9 mths before my child is born to really think about the choices i have made, the choices in front of me and their consequences and really use this time to heal myself.

    People tell me that no marriage is perfect, which i agree with , but we all know our tipping point and what we can and cant live with.

    We all have our fair share of the shit… But i feel its how we deal with it that determines or lives in the future.

    Im still very confused about what choice to make and also scared, but knowing their are people out there who understand my fears and who have had to make the same choices, gives me a little hope.

    Thank you for your blog. Is is a little light in the darkness i am trying to find my way out of.

    Best wishes,
    Butterflies

  2. “I do not win arguments because somehow my shit is super-shitty and therefore trumps your shit.”

    This needs to become a bumper sticker, stat!

    Wait, I don’t drive. Doh!

    But I can put it on my suitcase!

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