Part 5 – No excuse single mom dating series: “There are no good guys out there anymore.”

No one’s interested, sourpuss.

In this five-part series, I listen patiently to the reasons you think that single motherhood keeps you back from dating. Then I tell you why they’re bullshit excuses.

Excuse 1: No man wants to have sex with my post-baby body.
Excuse 2: I haven’t dated in 15 years!
Excuse 3: Dating is selfish and takes me away from my kids.
Excuse 4: No man wants to date a woman with kids.

Excuse 5: At this stage in my life, the dating pool simply does not exist. All the good guys are either still married (their wives know what they’ve got) or they finally came out of the closet.

Why that’s bullshit:

1. Of course there are good guys out there. Duh. What you’re really saying is, “The good guys will reject me,” or, “I’m afraid of choosing poorly and getting hurt. Again.” Of course you’re afraid. You’re human, with a tender heart. You’ve been through a lot. But nothing is going to change unless you own that fear.

2. Remember what we said in excuse No. 4? When couples split, half of the newly single are men. By claiming there are no good men out there suggests that half the human population is inherently unlovable.

3. No one wants to date a bitter bitch, sweetie.

4. I’m finding that as men age they get better. Just like I keep preaching that women are better at this stage in life. Just like us, they’ve suffered some hard knocks, been through therapy, fatherhood and finally learned to cry. They’re also more of who they are than when we were in our 20s: more successful in their careers, established in their friendships and way better in bed. Don’t miss out on this goldmine!

5. I’m not totally naive, and in fact I’m quite well-versed on why your claims have merit: men die before women, men tend to date younger women and pair off more quickly after divorce, women are becoming more professionally successful than men, and on and on. I get it. But if you want to find love and romance, you have to park these facts and fears in the intellectual corner of your brain and be open to some magic. Because awesome women do find awesome men in all stages of life. And magical, inexplicably serendipitous things happen that bring men and women together every single day. Which is what it’s all about.

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