In this five-part series, I listen patiently to the reasons you think that single motherhood keeps you back from dating. Then I tell you why they’re bullshit excuses.
In this series:
Excuse 1: No man wants to have sex with my post-baby body.
Excuse 2: I haven’t dated in 15 years!
Excuse 3: Dating is selfish and takes me away from my kids.
Excuse 5: There are no good guys out there anymore.
Excuse 4: Stop lecturing me about jumping out into the dating world. I have three kids – no man in his right mind will date a woman with all this baggage.
Why that’s bullshit:
1. You can’t imagine that a man will find you sexually attractive because you can’t imagine that you are sexually attractive. This is likely the first time in your life that you’ve been man shopping since you’ve become a mother. Zillions of women’s studies masters theses have been written on how we’re all oppressed by the madonna-whore complex. Sounds like you have your own madonna-whore complex. Let me help you out: you can be a mom and a sexual person at the same time. In fact, you already are. Once you embrace that fact, a man will also embrace it — and you.
2. I’ve written about the fact that I prefer to date men who have children. Lots of men feel the same way. Practically, it makes sense: we’re all in the same stage of life with similar priorities and a common vocabulary about schools and potty training and organic Melissa & Doug puzzles. On another level, parents have had their hearts opened and minds blown in ways that other people have not. We get each other.
3. I’ve never been too good with numbers, but the last time I checked, divorcing families generate equal numbers of single dads as single moms. Numbers don’t lie.
4. Happy moms are hot. That’s because happy people are inherently attractive to other people — no matter what baggage (i.e. precious children) they carry. When you’re that silly, energetic, adoring mom on the playground, I 100 percent guarantee you that men of all marital status are checking you out.
- Dating as a single mom is the same as dating as a teenager (wealthysinglemommy.com)
- The Madonna-Whore Complex and Me (kindacrunchy.com)
- Single moms have too few choices? Bullshit! (wealthysinglemommy.com)
- Vulnerability Alert: Thoughts on Dating (managingfibro.net)
- WTF Friday: Emma, would you shut the F@*% up already? (wealthysinglemommy.com)
- Popular demons? On single motherhood (fcollective.wordpress.com)
- Love at first lifestyle – a new dating site survey reveals lifestyle is more important than chemistry. (prweb.com)
- Valentines Day for a first date say Adults.co.uk members (prweb.com)
- File This One Under “Things That Make We Want To Stab Something…” (feministphilosophers.wordpress.com)
- Dear Dudes: Here’s how to to piss off the single mom you’re crushing on (wealthysinglemommy.com)