When I hang out with my girlfriends, we have a fantastic time. We talk about our careers, I tell them about who I’m dating. I listen to their stories about guys or the (often devastating) complexities of their marriages, and we cover our aging parents, gossip, life plans and dreams, childhood stories. But we don’t really talk about our kids.
I think I know why.
KIDS ARE BORING.
If you’ve read this blog more than twice you know that I’m crazy about my kids. Probably to an annoying extent to many of you (to which I say: I don’t give a shit).
Aside from times when we have serious issues with our kids, the kid convo may extend to a funny story or a fleeting concern. But beyond that, we’re not really interested.
My experiences with my children are mostly sufficiently enjoyed and digested when I am with them, and then again when I write about them. Sure, being a mom is full of delightful surprises, touching moments and thought-provoking challenges. But maybe even more often parenting is about snotty noses and nagging after chores and needling for vegetable eating. It can be mundane and dull. Being a mom – during the hours I am acting as mom – satisfy that emotional, biological thing that motherhood provides. But I am a complex person.
And as a single mom without a fulltime romantic partner to share intellectual, creative and personal aspects of myself, I can be left craven for meaningful conversation. Sometimes: I’m desperate. And while I do appreciate the familiar, cozy voices of NPR’s Steve Inskeep and Renee Montagne in the mornings, I’m an adult in need of adult interaction. And that means not wasting precious adult time talking about kids. Now, my situation may be extreme. I work from home, so my interaction with people who are not children (a.k.a. adults), is far less than working moms with more traditional careers. And who knows, maybe I’m just needy in this regard. Plus, my kids are little. I hear they get more conversant and opinionated as they get older. I have mixed feelings about that.
So until then, I look forward to hanging out. And I will ask about your kids and politely tell you what mine are up to. And then we can talk about all the interesting things going on with you and with me and the world. Say – have you seen any good movies lately? Because I sure as hell have not. Please share every juicy detail.
- Let’s Talk (to our kids) About Sex (everydayfamily.com)
- Sandy, Steve Inskeep and the Absurd on Morning Edition (wnyc.org)
- passing ships (ctworkingmoms.com)
- Why do people do bad things? (trinityfamilyministries.wordpress.com)
- Keep the Holidays Happy for Your Kids and Grandkids (allstate.com)
- Welfare helped this professional single mom get on her feet. Should you sign up, too? (wealthysinglemommy.com)
- How to talk to your children about their gaming habits (polygon.com)
- A Conversation I Never Wanted To Have (rudecactus.com)