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My kid is an asshole. And your kid is an asshole, too.

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Single Mom Swear

This essay was originally published a year ago, and it is one of my favorites. Read through the comments — so many moms found it by googling “my kid is an asshole,” which tickles me to no end. I think of this post when I find myself tripped up with doubt over whether I should share something really personal — either in my work or in my relationships. The takeaway from the experience of this entire blog — in which I have so, so stretched out of my comfort zone — is that the truth is always right. That when you share a secret, you not only wash yourself of the shame attached to that secret, but the shame of others who hear you. And in that experience, you connect and love.

Is that too deep for this quirky post? Now I feel a little ashamed …

“Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.”
― Brené Brown 

 

A few weeks ago a guy I’d dated texted me. “You sound like such a good mom on your blog. I’m a disaster at being a single parent!” My response: “Start a blog and create your own reality!”

I shared this exchange with my brother, who reminded me that the previous week I reported about my 2-year-old: “That asshole shit his pants at the library.”

Because I wanted an excuse to keep the conversation going (say nothing of trying to downplay the sanctimonious tone I often take in this blog), I texted him about my potty-mouth parental antics.

Radio silence.

Not many people will admit to calling their kids bad names. Except, it seems, my friends. Everywhere I turn people I know are laying out how they really feel about their offspring. One of my oldest girlfriends has two great kids, yet she often refers to her daughter – an opinionated, defiant and bossy 7-year-old – as a bitch. A mommy friend in my neighborhood was so relieved by her daughter’s 5th birthday. “The worst age is 4,” she recently said over a dinner out. “Every single day my husband and I would say what an asshole she was.” At a family Halloween party, the hostess greeted me by rolling her eyes and saying of her preschooler, “Daniel has been a raging dick today.”

Some might shake a judgmental finger at parents like us. But I’ve noticed that moms and dads who use swear names to express their parental frustrations also have a unique respect for their children. My friend with the bitchy daughter, for example, refers to her children as “people” – not kids. “Sam is a really thoughtful person,” she’ll say of her 12-year-old before launching into her myriad annoyances with him.

My friend whose daughter has graduated from her shitty preschool stage is described by her mother as “a person who gets really angry if she feels she’s not being heard,” and “the kind of girl who doesn’t have a lot of drive but will always be fine in the world.” Parents who view their kids as whole individuals, I find, are parents who have license to detest parts of their kids – just as they would any person. After all, as much as we may love our boss or neighbor, we likely describe them in with the occasional four-letter word. We don’t use those monikers to their faces. As we spend lots of time with our children and their many escalated moods, it’s normal these words are thrown around from time to time.

Describing our children with cusswords also signifies that we accept ourselves as whole people with complex feelings and thoughts. We are not robo-parents who only think, feel and say delightful and fair things about our kids.  If that were true, there would be no way to explain the runaway success of Go the F**k to Sleep, which sold 150,000 copies, hit Amazon’s No. 1 bestseller and was optioned by Fox. The illustrated book looks like a classic kid’s tale, but is clearly intended for parents – parents who sometimes hate their kids.

The cats nestle close to their kittens now.

The lambs have laid down with the sheep.

You’re cozy and warm in your bed, my dear

Please go the fuck to sleep.

Did you read that book? Did you laugh? Congratulations. You’re a real person, a whole parent. And sometimes your kid’s an asshole.

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  1. Christie Tate
    Christie Tate12-09-2012

    I almost think I can’t be friends with someone who can’t admit their kid is an asshole. Because, Good Lord, they are assholes. My daughter flung her milk across the room today because it was a half degree too hot for her. She’s an asshole, believe me. And so am I. I am the tree, she’s the apple. We are both assholes.

    • Emma
      Emma12-10-2012

      Christie – this made me laugh. So true. We despite them from time to time – just as we do ourselves.

  2. Denise Schipani
    Denise Schipani12-10-2012

    I can relate 100%! My darling, perfect boys are really kind of jerks some times. Our closest friends occupy that “closest” status in part because we can talk to them about how jerky our respective children are. “Yeah, my son is kind of an asshole,” my friend said of his boy, who had just broken a toy of my younger son’s. Do you watch the show “The Middle”? In an early season, the dad says, of his teen son, “I think our son might be an idiot!”, which is pretty ballsy and awesome for network TV, where all parents are usually patsies and all kids are usually precocious and/or precious.

    • Emma
      Emma12-10-2012

      Yep. If we think it and/or feel it, why not say it?

  3. Diana
    Diana12-10-2012

    I dislike the word asshole in general, but I get the sentiment. I’ve been known to describe my son as a wanker and his behavior as bone-headed.

    • Emma
      Emma12-10-2012

      To each her own. Wanker is a funny one – I mean, you’re basically calling your kid a dick, but in British parlance. Which may sound fancy to some, but just silly to others.

    • Matt
      Matt12-11-2012

      How can you not like the word “asshole?” It’s about the best word ever! Right up there with pants and cheese.

  4. Lawmom
    Lawmom12-10-2012

    My parents used to say it is not me or my brother, but our behavior that was bad. My kids aren’t assholes, they just behave like assholes from time to time : )

  5. Honoree Corder
    Honoree Corder12-10-2012

    This made me laugh out loud. I sometimes prefer PITA – pain in the a**. :)

  6. Celeste
    Celeste12-12-2012

    When talking to family and close friends I have been known to describe my son as a stubborn fussy turkey and or a selfish jerk.

  7. Becca R
    Becca R01-01-2013

    All kids are assholes at some point. They, as kids, are born selfish and it is our job as parents to teach them how to be/act otherwise. I think the majority of the time these asshole moments are not deliberate insomuch as they are reactionary.

  8. Emma
    Emma01-01-2013

    >> All kids are assholes at some point. They, as kids, are born selfish and it is our job as parents to teach them how to be/act otherwise.

    Yup!

    • Kelly
      Kelly01-31-2014

      Now I have 4 teenagers and when they act like assholes, I look them in the face and say “You’re an asshole”. Maybe I am taking it too far, but they know the real me and know how much I love them. Can I use the old “This will hurt me more than it hurts you.” No one wants their kid to be an asshole, but they all are sometime. As are we.

      • Emma
        Emma02-03-2014

        ha, love it! Way to keep it real, Kelly!!

  9. Amy
    Amy01-07-2013

    Emma! I found your blog through Leah’s recent Facebook post. I love it and can’t wait to explore it a bit more. I can so relate to this. When my son was a baby, a friend made my day by complaining about her daughter and how hard and shitty parenting can be. She made it ‘OK’ for me to be honest with myself about my parenting expereince. Parts of parenting are great. Other parts suck.

  10. Linda
    Linda03-16-2013

    I loved reading this. Let me tell you how I stumbled on your blog.. By googling the exact phrase “children are assholes”. The fact is we’re all assholes sometimes. I love when people can see past society defined guidelines and just be real about it. I’ve probably never seen a bigger asshole than me when I’ve skipped breakfast and lunch and it’s 2 o’clock in the afternoon and I’m standing in line at Costco. My kids are 17, 11, 5, & 4. They make my life incredible, beautiful, funny, heart wrenching, fulfilling and even still on a Friday afternoon I’m googling “children are assholes” so I can get a humorous reprieve from this gift of motherhood, so thanks again!

    • Chandra
      Chandra06-30-2013

      LOL – exact same thing here! Having put myself in a time-out before I strangled my son, I googled “my kid is an asshole”. Goodness I’m glad I can across this blog! It cracked me up and I’m in a much better mood. Guess I’ll have to quit hiding now…

      • Emma
        Emma07-01-2013

        Chandra – you are the second mom who said they found this post the same way. CRACKS ME UP!

  11. Emma
    Emma03-17-2013

    Linda – this comment made me laugh aloud (aka LOL!).

    “They make my life incredible, beautiful, funny, heart wrenching, fulfilling and even still on a Friday afternoon I’m googling “children are assholes” ” hahah!

    Keep reading, hope to see you here again.

    Emma

  12. Shun Jackson
    Shun Jackson04-23-2013

    OMGosh! This was THE funniest I’ve read in quite a long time…ok…I’m guilty of feeling this way about my kids…mostly my 11 year old son. You will bust your but helping them, nurturing them, providing for them, and still, they can easily act obnoxious towards you and shrug their shoulders at your authority.

    • Emma
      Emma04-24-2013

      Shun – there is a reason this is one of my most popular posts: Every parent feels that way every now and again!

  13. Carole King
    Carole King04-25-2013

    Thanks for cracking me up! Some days asshole is the perfect word and somedays his actions are assinine. I also told my son “screw you, do it yourself” in a moment of intense frustration over homework. Everyone I confessed it to was relieved by the honesty. We’re all in this together, why not be real about it?

    • Emma
      Emma04-28-2013

      Hahah! Here’s to keeping it real. Kids see through it all, anyway.

      • Brianna
        Brianna03-13-2014

        thank you so much for this blog. I literally just found it a few minutes ago by googling, “my son is a fucking asshole please help” I am so glad that there is a place I can be honest about how frustrated and upset ive become without judgment thank you everyone for sharing and for listening. my sons are 12 and 4 – different fathers i am a single mother

        • Emma
          Emma03-13-2014

          Hi Brianna – Did you skim the comments? So many parents found this post the same way. I always laugh aloud when someone writes that – I mean, we are human, we swear and WTF?! People are not angels immune from fault until their 18th birthday!!

  14. Kyla
    Kyla07-14-2013

    Glad I found this blog.
    I had never called my daughter names until recently. She is 23 now. She did something pretty vile to my husband and I to appease her boyfriend. I finally spouted off and called her the “C” word then told her she was fat. Even the mouthiest of my friends could not believe I did this. There is no way to take it back, and although she was initially in the wrong, I apologized for allowing myself to go there. Now her friends tell me “You don’t deserve her!”. Wow..

    23 long years lost in the blink of an eye. Never though in a million years she would do it.
    She almost ruined my husband’s career of 30 years. And we accrued a financial debt for her mistake. Yep – I was pretty hot for what she did,

    • Brianna
      Brianna03-13-2014

      so sorry for your pain and loss but have to admit your post cracked me up! sometimes we start out right and end up wrong but I totally get how and why you reacted that way. just cause we are related doesnt make it ok for them to choose awful behaviour

  15. Vickie
    Vickie07-21-2013

    Actually, I rarely use the word asshole any more because an asshole is a very necessary part of the body. I have instead started using the word hemorrhoid since they originate in the same region but do nothing but burn, irritate and annoy. We had a neighbor at our old house who we called Hemorrhoid on the Hill. He hated being called that but it cracked us up. He knew we called him that because if I was out on the front porch having coffee and he walked past the dog would bark. I’d tell the dog to shut up it was only the hemorrhoid. He heard that plenty of time. I even made a shirt which really pissed him off that said Love thy neighbor… even if he is a hemorrhoid. Oh and my youngest daughter (who will be 34 next week) is a raging bitch!

    • Emma
      Emma07-21-2013

      Oh man, Vickie – where do I even start? Love the hemorrhoid thing – very accurate.

    • Brianna
      Brianna03-13-2014

      omg I love you! I love you all! this is the funniest best blog in the universe! I love my son but he is a hemorrhoid!!!!!

      • Emma
        Emma03-13-2014

        haha hemorrhoid! Glad I could help :)

    • Brianna
      Brianna03-13-2014

      my 4 year old is an asshole too! he keeps destroying everything he gets his hands on nothing is safe he sneaks off and hides under my bed and goes to town mostly chewing stuff apart like a naughty puppy but other times just ripping it apart with his hands.

  16. Oria
    Oria11-07-2013

    My step children are unappreciative f@#&* AssHoles….The End.

    • G.D.
      G.D.12-23-2013

      OMG Oria. I called my stepson a douchebag yesterday. He is. Problem is, I said it to his dad and hurt his feelings. I only meant that this kid is such a dick to his dad who does EVERYTHING for this kid (17 year old) and gets shit on in return. I know that kids can be awful to their parents, but he is pretty much an asshole to everyone given the chance. I guess I’m lucky in that the way I deal with it is to stay as far away from him as possible – because I can. Not the best way to have a loving relationship, but it works OK for us right now. He’s almost 18 and will be (oh please!) on his way out the door within months.

      • Madeline
        Madeline04-20-2014

        I am so thankful to read your post. My step son is a 16 year old manipulative asshole. He blames his dad for everything in his life. He has done some very intentionally mean things and his dad and I are just waiting for him to turn 18 so he can live with his mom. I have a countdown going. I feel so much better knowing there are other parents out there with entitled, rude, mean kids. Thanks for this blog!!!!

  17. Kim O'Brien
    Kim O'Brien12-11-2013

    I found this post because I Googled, “my four-year-old is an asshole,” to get parenting advice. On how to keep myself from murdering him to death in his sleep. Thanks for making me laugh about it. *Breathing deeply.*

  18. Emma
    Emma12-11-2013

    Kim – read this thread — several other moms found this post the same way. I LOVE IT!!! Makes me feel less alone in my craziness.

    • Brianna
      Brianna03-13-2014

      Emma you are a genius! there should be an award given to you for this! thank you so much before i started reading this i was about to cry and probably murder my rotten ass kid

  19. Sarah
    Sarah12-27-2013

    Wicked funny. I thought I was being “evil” for thinking that of my 12 yr old son. He is truly an asshole. My husband and I have read a bazillion parenting books. My son has seen two therapists (neither did any good). We give him plenty of love and attention. We provide a comfortable daily routine, more than fair discipline, loads of time with friends, exciting activities, etc. And yet – the child is never happy, you can never do enough for him. He refuses to do homework. He lies constantly about all sorts of stupid shit. Is disrespectful at every turn. Insists on arguing with us –even when we are agreeing with him(!). He is an ASSHOLE. I can’t wait for him to grow up and leave home.

  20. Jackie
    Jackie01-12-2014

    LMAO…this is the first of your blogs that I have read…you have me in stitches…if only ALL parents would be this honest…maybe we wouldn’t have as many “criminals” on our hands…I have often referred to my son as an asshole…he now nearly 18 yrs old…so then I can tell him to his face…lol….my sister’s both refer to their daughters (13 and 6)as “a little bitch in training”….I laugh hysterically every time…thanks for the laugh!!

    • Emma
      Emma01-13-2014

      ha! thanks Jackie – I’m nothing if not honest.

  21. Brittany
    Brittany02-03-2014

    I will never forget the first time the word slipped out of my mouth. My daughter was probably 4.. she was being sassy, hard-headed, argumentative- All of the things that I love and adore about her as a person; just not things I always have the patience to deal with at 11 p.m. Her bedtime has always been 8, and we were having one of “those” nights where it was her way or no way at all, and we were butting heads, because her bedtime is 8 on work nights- if no one is bleeding or vomiting, then no excuses!

    After I had tucked her into bed for the 6th time, I came back downstairs. My boyfriend was sitting on the couch with his movie paused. He looked at me as if to ask, “What was it this time?”

    Before I had even registered the words hitting my brain, they were coming out of my mouth. I uttered, “Sometimes, my daughter is such a bitch.”

    I froze as soon as I said it, and my boyfriend’s eyebrows were sky-high. Then he smirked and said “Wait until she’s 14..” to which I replied, “She’ll really be a bitch at that age..”

    We both dissolved into laughter. I felt better.. like I wasn’t such a horrible person for THINKING these things sometimes. And sure enough, when she got out of bed again 30 minutes later, I thought to myself- she is such a bitch. But sometimes, so is her mommy. I tucked her back into bed again with more of a smile on my face.

    It was one night in many over the years that I’ve thought such things.. but never with anything but love and a little bit of frustration, knowing that that too will pass, and it’s just part of life.

  22. nicky
    nicky02-07-2014

    My search was “can children be assholes?” because even though I have living, breathing, scowling proof just feet away from me, I needed evidence that I wasn’t a shitty mom for thinking it. You probably will save lives with this post, no bullshit. Recognition, as they say, cures many ills, and in this post and these comments, I’m feeling seen, heard, and empathized with. Doesn’t happen in real life too often, so thank you so much for writing it.

    • Emma
      Emma02-07-2014

      @Niki – did you read the comments? So many people found this post via the same Google search, which gives me boundless pleasure. SOOOOFUNNNY!

    • Emma
      Emma02-09-2014

      Nicky – Thank you so much for this. The asshole bit is funny, yes, but your comments about feeling seen and heard really make me so happy (and proud). Thanks for chiming in. You’re normal!

  23. Tracy
    Tracy02-09-2014

    I dislike the word “asshole.” I prefer “asswipe,” although upon reflection, it doesn’t have the oomph of “asshole.” Also, “hole” lends itself better to the preceding emphasis on “ass,” as in, “What an ASS-hole!” Right now my teenaged daughter is banished to her room because I just couldn’t take one more bit of bullshit spewing out of her piehole. If I’d said or done half the crap she has when I was a kid, I would not be alive today to write this post. The left side of my face would have been smacked clear to Kansas, ricocheted off a barn silo, and then permanently embedded in Mt. Rushmore where visitors today would exclaim, “Look. There’s the girl who talked back to her parents.”

    • Emma
      Emma02-09-2014

      Oh my gosh Tracy – you have me laughing aloud with this: “The left side of my face would have been smacked clear to Kansas, ricocheted off a barn silo, and then permanently embedded in Mt. Rushmore where visitors today would exclaim, “Look. There’s the girl who talked back to her parents.” hahhaah!! Be my BFF? Please?

  24. Tracy
    Tracy02-10-2014

    In the parlance of my recently unbanished teenager, “Totes!” Look, I think raising children is a lot like going to the State Fair: Costs a lot, is an antiquated practice, but we keep doing it year after year. For the most part it’s great, rewarding, and worth it. But then there’s that ten minutes in the Fun House with the funky mirrors. A nightmare of distorted perceptions and rabbit-hole arguments and reasoning, during which the salvation comes in being butt-faced honest: “OMG! My kid is a total fucking asshole! THAT’S what’s going on here!” If we can respond to this ugly reality without killing them, we have taken one more step toward making the world a better place, because to paraphrase the Dalai Lama, the world doesn’t need more assholes. It needs more people who are compassionate, kind, and loving. (I suppose it could argued that by calling my kid an asshole, I am not being kind, compassionate, nor loving, but that’s another blog post.)

  25. Kristen J. Richards
    Kristen J. Richards02-14-2014

    It is unclear if your kids are assholes or not, but one one thing that is perfectly clear:
    Their mother is a HUGE asshole.

  26. john
    john02-18-2014

    Maybe I’m just a bad parent:(

  27. Lori
    Lori02-26-2014

    Bwahahaha! My son is named Daniel… and many days he is a raging dick. I’m expecting sainthood if I get this kid to 18 in one piece… despite his best efforts otherwise.

  28. Amy
    Amy03-05-2014

    Yup, I Googled “are all 6 year old boys assholes?” and found this. I raised two girls on my own for 10 years who are now teenagers (and really, really awesome people) and then I got remarried and inherited a stepson who is now 6. He was spoiled rotten until I got him and some people in his life still spoil and coddle him. They just think he’s as sweet as pie. I think he’s a complete shithead. Always has to be the center of attention, always thinks everyone should wait on him, never listens, has a fit if he doesn’t get his way and says “Na, na, na, na, na” way too much to be thought of as anything but an annoying, frustrating jerk.

    So I thought, “Well, maybe this is just a boy thing. After all, most men are pretty much jerks. Maybe this is how they start.” But I think it has more to do with the way he was raised before I came along. You all who think it’s such a horrible thing to call your kid a bad name, think of it this way: the only reason we’re so pissed off and frustrated is because we want our kids to turn out to be good people and, no matter what we do, they just keep being assholes. The name calling and anger comes from pouring our lives into a person for THEIR OWN GOOD to seemingly no avail. At least that’s where mine comes from.

    Great post. Thank you.

  29. Gina
    Gina03-14-2014

    Yup . Googled my 5 yr old is an asshole. Brought me here. Thank you . I was ready to put him in a fckn pretzel form.

  30. ciel
    ciel03-27-2014

    I find this truly disgusting. As a teenager who is faced with being called a “raging bitch,” DAILY, this is… just… no, It’s probably my mother’s – who has manic depression and narcissistic behavioral issues – favorite phrase. She also gets a thrill from this.

    I’ve almost killed myself because of this.

    Now, how do you think your immature toddlers feel about those words?

    Please, if your child were to say these things to you at a later age, would you be offended?

    • Ashley
      Ashley03-30-2014

      If I treated my child the way he treats me I would fully expect and deserve him saying these things to me when he was an adult.

  31. Ashley
    Ashley03-30-2014

    Thank you a thousand times over! The phrase I googled was “what to do about my asshole child”. Just your blog post and the comments have taken me from literally looking up boarding schools for my eight year old, to giggling and feeling like I have a whole internet of support and understanding. Keep up the great, and honest, work!

    • Emma
      Emma04-02-2014

      LOL Ashley! I’m glad I saved you $40k/year!

  32. Aja
    Aja04-02-2014

    Thank you for this post! My 7yr old daughter is a person who is incredibly self-absorbed -with family only- and doesn’t not see or doesn’t care that her actions negatively impact others in the house.

    I’ve always tried to be logical and level-headed, choosing my words carefully when bringing these things to her attention. I’ve also denied myself the reality of some situations by believing I have to package this behavior as “okay” because she’s a kid.

    But, yesterday was my birthday, and after a permanent marker scribble on the cream couch, and two large bottles of spices sprinkled all over the kitchen floor, I lost it. And all the things I wasn’t even aware I was thinking and feeling came out…and it was a wonderful release.

    But then I felt guilty for saying what I felt. I thought that was not what “good” moms do…until I read this post.

    I finally realized that as a mom, I need to be honest with myself about my feelings and it is okay to see my daughter as the imperfect human being that she is. This post finally gave me permission to acknowledge to myself and those reading this that sometimes, if not a lot of the time, this person that lives with me is a selfish, indignant asshole – and it is healthy to authentically acknowledge that.

    • Emma
      Emma04-02-2014

      Wow, Aja — what a scene! Glad this post was helpful. And happy belated birthday!

  33. Amy
    Amy04-09-2014

    Yes I too almost killed my almost 8 yr old son about an hour ago. He seriously makes me crazy!! And to top it off I have a 13 yr old girl who feels the need to point out LOUDLY what a jerk he is all the time which only enrages him more and causes physical fighting as she provokes him. Not to mention in the mix of all this I have a young baby to juggle while my boy insists on calling me names, slamming doors, and telling ME what a jerk I am. And yes, I googled “my son is an asshole”. But of course I typed it very slowly to see if it would show up in the suggested searches first cause I felt guilt for even thinking such a thing. It’s soooo hard to be a good mom!!

  34. Mom
    Mom04-10-2014

    I googled ”my daughter is a fucking asshole”. Thank you for sharing.

  35. nancy
    nancy04-15-2014

    Are you totally kidding me? This is okay? No, it’s not. There is NO room for an opinion here. Sorry, folks. I am a parent of three nearly grown kids and if I ever THOUGHT of calling them a name, I kept it to myself. Do you not realize what self-esteem issue this causes? My parents would never do this either. Are we perfect? No way. But I’m a better person than this to THINK that calling my kids assholes is acceptable. And if you think this is right, there’s something wrong with YOU!

  36. nancy
    nancy04-15-2014

    Oh and by the way, if the kid is not behaving well, who do you think we should be looking at? The parents are A DIRECT reflection of that child. Fess up and claim responsibility.

    • Shawn
      Shawn04-18-2014

      Your an asshole Nancy

  37. Shawn
    Shawn04-18-2014

    So Nancy what your saying is it’s okay to think your kids an asshole but it’s not okay to express it. I think my 7 year old son is an asshole on a daily basis. He’s rude to others (I’m not) he hits his sister (I don’t) he destroys things that aren’t his (I don’t) he refuses to poop on the toilet but will shit himself daily (I don’t do that) he won’t brush his teeth, get dressed or do anything in general without an argument (I’m not that way) his doctor says he has objective defiant disorder. I’m old fashioned I just say HES AN ASSHOLE. His doctor says basically that’s what people call ODD……Asshole disorder. So the medical community agrees with me.
    You can ask many people I have associated with throughout my life and I bet most people would agree I’m not an asshole but someplace down the line someone must have been in my family and that’s where he gets it from.

  38. Nancy
    Nancy04-21-2014

    Who in God’s name is the parent and who is the child here?

    Yes, of course it’s okay to think things. But if you express it, do you realize that those are words that you can’t erase from a child’s memory? If your kids are “assholes” as you say, and hits his sister and destroys things that aren’t his and won’t brush his teeth….ect…sounds like some actual PARENTING might be in order. Does anyone do that anymore? The kid needs disipline and if you’re JUST starting to do that at age 7, you might well be TOO LATE. Respect and boundaries should be instilled at a young age. If you didn’t instill it at age 2, that’s probably why you’re not getting it now.

    I don’t give a rat’s behind what the medical community says. It’s NOT okay to call your kids names.

    • Emma
      Emma04-21-2014

      Nancy! Nowhere in my essay do I advocate or admit to calling kids bad names. Nor do any of the dozens of comments here. As you say yourself: “Yes, of course it’s okay to think things.” I think them, you think them, I express them to other adults an in my writing. Read through the comments — doing so absolved many’s shame for thinking negatively about their children. Honesty=freedom.

  39. Nancy
    Nancy04-21-2014

    Oh and calling others an “asshole”…..

    Gee, wonder where the kid gets the disrespect from?

  40. Shannon
    Shannon04-22-2014

    I have a 15-year-old son. Guess what I Googled to get here. He has, I hope, hit Maximum Asshole because if he acts like more of one, he will create an Asshole Vortex that will rip apart the fabric of existence.

    You can’t be humorless and be a parent. Especially the parent of a teenager. You’d go insane. Thank you, Emma, for having this place: a place where I know I’m not alone.

    • Emma
      Emma04-22-2014

      Shannon – this made me LOL: “I hope, hit Maximum Asshole because if he acts like more of one, he will create an Asshole Vortex that will rip apart the fabric of existence.” hahah!

      “Thank you, Emma, for having this place: a place where I know I’m not alone.” — comments like these make me feel like my work here is important. Thank YOU for that.

      • Shannon
        Shannon04-24-2014

        I’ve been trying to reply by hitting the trusty “REPLY” button next to your comment, but…my buttons are being contrary. Anyway, Emma, keep on keeping on. I’m glad I landed here, regardless of the reason.

      • Shannon
        Shannon04-24-2014

        Oops. So that worked. Ha ha.

        I’m going to go learn how to Internet now.

        ;-)

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