By far, the most popular post I wrote on WealthySingleMommy in 2015 was January’s The real reason your ex doesn’t see your kids.
The reaction to the post highlighted what a devastating issue of absentee fathers we face in the United States. I am ashamed to admit how eye-opening the comments and shares were. Living in progressive New York City where my own hyper-left social circle is, increasingly made up of untraditional families, nearly all of whom include very involved fathers, including my own ex.
A bubble I live in. And the stats support my naiveté: According to Pew Research, nearly half of fathers who live apart from their kids see their children “several times per year” or less. Just 22 percent visit their kids more than once per week. That, in my book, means that 78 percent of dads who do not live with their kids qualify as absentee fathers.
I hear often from mothers who parent children with uninvolved dads their explanation of the men’s absence. These include mental health and addiction issues, incarceration, being selfish jerks, remarrying controlling/jealous women, blame of the mother for keeping the kids away/ turning them against the dad, inability to deal with responsibilities, and so on.
But I want to hear from dads: If you are not regularly involved with their children’s lives: Why? I want to understand. I will not judge you. I just want to hear your side. Please share in the comments.
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