A few months ago the above happened. My inner monologue upon receipt:
Do I have to manage every detail of this operation? I might as well take myself out for dinner, get myself drunk, invite myself upstairs, perform amazing cunnilingus on myself, spoon myself, suggest passive-aggressively that I call myself a cab, send myself a sweet text the next day then not respond to my own text.
The following week, this transpired with another dude:
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